I'm Just Addicted
by astarte-lydianna
Summary: Carlisle comes across Bella long after they left her in Forks, Carlisle tries to help her with her addiction only to end up addicted to Bella. Warning some Feral Carlisle hope you like!
1. Chapter 1: Wrong

Author's Notes: I started this story a little while ago and I seem to be just dropping in and out of it when I have a moment. As always a big thanks to my beta JenJenSon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, the characters and all that jazz and I make no money from this story.

Addicted

Wrong

Carlisle POV

It was around 2am I was supposed to be finishing my shift now but instead I was heading to A&E to treat the next load of patients through the doors.

"What's the situation down here?" I asked the nurse on the way towards the emergency room.

"Dr Lawrence is taking room one, room two is a woman early twenties with heavy blood loss." The nurse said, handing me the papers.

"Thanks." I replied, heading into the room. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. It was Bella. Even with the huge change in clothes and appearance, I would recognise her anywhere.

She was different now, she skirt and top were black and barely there at all, I could see several piercings on her body and her hair had been dyed. She was a different girl from the one we left behind.

I tried to remain objective and looked across her injuries. I could only find one obvious injury. Her wrist had been cut and a lot of blood had been lost. The strange thing was that the wound didn't seem big enough for the amount of blood she had lost but I could find no other wound.

If I didn't know better I'd say the blood had been sucked out of her, which would explain the unusual bruising around the wound; however there was no bite mark and no evidence of vemon being to turn her. So it was a mystery.

I replaced some of the blood she had lost and hooked up an IV before another quick check over and sent her to a room to recover.

**10am same day...**

I arrived back at the hospital early. I had deliberately arrived an hour earlier than I needed to be there so that I had time to check on Bella. I made it my first stop of the morning.

My heart lurched as I saw the pale girl in the bed. I had really feared for her life last night. If she had been brought in much later I would have had to abduct her and turn her or she would have died.

I went and sat on the chair by the bed for a moment just content to sit and wait. I glanced at her personal belongings on the side table. The fact that they were just sat on top of the table meant that she must have woken up at some point since I'd left last night. Relief ran through me, then I had the feeling I was being watched. I was.

"Bella you're awake." I smiled. "How do you feel?"

"Carlisle?" she asked, "Why are you here?"

"I was checking on you. I treated you last night, it was a close call." I replied.

"Is it really you? Are you really here?" she asked, sitting up in the bed.

"Of course." I replied.

"Come here." She whispered. I obeyed, leaning forward in the chair closer to the bed. She reached out and touched my shirt. She obvously still wasn't convinced I was really there. Not the I blamed her, I hadn't expected to see her either.

"Would you like to explain what happened last night?" I asked. Suddenly it was like shutters came down on her. She completely closed herself off and her face gave nothing away.

"Nothing, I cut myself by accident." She said evenly. I knew she was lying with every breath but didn't push the subject. She definately wasn't quite the same Bella we'd left back in Washington.

"I hope you feel better Bella." I smiled, standing and leaving her room.

Bella POV

I didn't know what to think about seeing Carlisle. At first I thought I was dreaming. The I was happy to see him, but then embarassed, upset and angry; just as much at myself as I was at him. I was in one hell of a state; not just by ending up at A&E. My whole life was a goddamned mess.

Not to mention Carlisle's presence would probably mean that the rest of them weren't far away. I had to get out of here. I didn't want to see any of them, didn't want to know them...not now.

I forced down the retched food that the nurse was adament that I have for breakfast and then got dressed and headed to the nurses station to get discharged. Actually they didn't want to discharge me so I had to sign a bunch of paperwork to discharge myself.

Just as I reached the last page the paper was pulled from the reception desk in front of me.

"I wasn't finished with that." I sighed, turning to face the blonde doctor I knew would be behind me.

"I am well aware of that." He replied easily. He reached out and touched my cheek. His hands were cool and comforting just as I remembered. I had forgotten how dazzling their golden eyes were. "Go back to bed Bella."

"I'm fine." I said calmly.

"You are most certainly not fine, you lost a lot of blood Bella go back to bed and we'll dicuss you going home this afternoon." He said.

As much as he meant well the way the compassionate doctor always had; I couldn't handle him telling me what to do. _He_ had done that. _He _had taken my choices away from me, left me, not letting me decide for myself, and I wasn't going to let his "father" tell me what to do now.

"Bite me." I said, walking away. He caught my good arm and stopped me. He was standing very close behind me now, I could feel his cold hard body against my back and I could smell that sweet scent that they all had. I didn't want to think about who it was having this affect on me. Stupid vampires and all their stupid lures.

"Minutes later and I would have had to." He breathed in my ear. I felt a slight twinge of guilt at the sadness in his voice, but my anger won out.

"Better luck next time then." I said, pulling away from him and walking towards the exit. I didn't look back, I didn't want to look back. I didn't want to see any of them again.

….

That night I dreamt of Carlisle Cullen; but what started as a pleasant dream didn't end up that way. He and I were sat together, talking and laughing but then I saw _him_. Edward.

He attacked Carlisle and then Carlisle vanished. I was left in the woods with Edward just like that day. I was helpless to do anything as I watched history repeat itself and Edward left me alone in the woods. I shouted after him and ran and ran into the darkness until I woke up screaming.

After Edward left me, he had left me in my dreams every night for nearly the next year. They had stopped eventually but only because other nightmares took their place. Things that would haunt me forever.

I crawled out of bed and up off of the mattress and looked around me. It wasn't much but it was home. I lived in an old hotel which was now several bedsit rooms that were rented out. Everyone in the block kept to themselves and I only knew one of the other people in the whole block. Kitty was a few years younger than me but had had it even worse than I had. Where as I had drawn lines for what I would and wouldn't do for money, Kitty hadn't. She was the most worldly nineteen year old I had ever met.

Carlisle POV

What had happened to her? What had turned Bella into this...almost stranger? I had to know. I felt partially responsible. I had never gone back to Forks, never checked to see what damage had been done by our sudden departure.

I would need help to get inside Bella's head and Bella certainly wasn't going to be telling me anything in the immediate future. So I called the only other person I thought might be able to help me.

"Carlisle." Came the voice on the other end.

"I need your help with something Alice." I told her.

"I know. I'm on my way." She replied and hung up.

**Four hours later...**

I heard the doorbell and went to answer it. Sure enough there stood Alice. She greeted me with a hug as she always had and always would.

"How is everyone?" I asked.

"Same as always. Emmett and Rose will be joining Jazz and I next month for a while." She replied.

"And them?" I asked, knowing she would know.

"She's happy Carlisle." Alice replied, knowing that was all I needed to hear. "Now tell me about this help you wanted."

"It's Bella." I told her.

"I know, I saw you go to visit her in hospital, what happened?" she asked.

"That's the part I don't know." I replied. "I was wondering if you could help me with that."

"So you ask someone who sees the future to find out what happened in the past...Carlisle I thought you were smarter than this." She grinned.

"She's a different person Alice. Something has happened to her that she isn't telling me and it's niggling at me." I said.

"Well, considering that she hasn't seen you for four years I'm not surprised she isn't filling you in on her lifestory so far." Alice smirked.

"But Alice this is something unusual. She arrved in A&E last night with what appeared to be a knife wound on her wrist and she'd lost a severe amount of blood...but the cut wasn't big enough to cause the blood loss she had. Something isn't adding up." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "Sometimes people's pasts affect their decisions for their future so I was hoping you could keep an eye on her future and see if you can find anything helpful."

"I'll do my best." She replied. "Do you want to hear something strange?"

"Go on, surprise me." I smiled.

"My vision of Bella being one of us...it never went away when we left." She said, hovering in the doorway. "I just thought it was strange."

"Have you heard anything from him? Seen anything?" I blurted out, unable to stop myself asking. She just shook her head sadly.

"I'll ring you if I find anything." She said. "Goodbye Carlisle."

I watched her leave. I couldn't help but feel a sadness thinking about my family. The amount of pain our leaving Forks had caused was something none of us had thought possible; not just Bella, though she undoubtedly did suffer. Our family had been torn apart after we left. No more than six months after we had left Washington we had all separated and gone our own ways. No one had been able to agree on what was the best thing to do; the way it was handled, things that should have been said and done differently, things that couldn't be changed.

Author's Notes: Hope you're not too bored but it's important to try and fit in all the facts and build up. xx


	2. Chapter 2: Junkie

Author's Notes: here's part two. Not much to say except hope you enjoy it and as always a big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for her help.

Disclaimer: I own nothing unfortunately

Addicted

Junkie

One week later...

My phone caught my attention and I excused myself to the privacy of my office away from prying nurses. Alice's name lit up the screen and I quickly answered it.

"Carlisle!" Alice's voice cried down the phone. "She's in trouble!"

"Where Alice?" I asked. She sounded so broken and desperate. Something had Alice really worried.

"I saw a name 'Flavour' it looked like a restaurant or a club maybe." She sobbed.

"What else did you see?" I asked, grabbing the business directory from the draw and flicking through it.

"Blood Carlisle, and other's there, other vampires. You were right; I saw her memories...sort of but I couldn't make any sense of them they were blurred, some of them blanked out completely." She cried.

"She's with others like us?" I asked.

"No Carlisle, not like us." She said quietly. "We should have never left, I should have seen it...hurry Carlisle."

She hung up and my finger found the club I had been looking for. Flavour.

Bella POV

I walked to the club as usual. I probably shouldn't be going after last week. He'd gotten carried away but I needed money...needed it, the numbness, the pain...needed them.

"I didn't expect you to be back so soon little one." A voice called as I headed inside.

"So little faith Damien." Another voice said. "Bella, come sit, have a drink."

I stared at the two of them in the booth. Damien was big and muscled with ebony hair and Lucas was taller slimmer and with blonde hair...in fact he reminded me a little of James. The barmaid Orlann brought me a drink and placed it on the table as I took a seat at the booth.

I took a large slip of my vodka and coke before meeting Lucas' hungry gaze. His eyes black was thirst.

"You had us worried my dear." He purred. "Sebastian should have been more careful...you are our favourite after all."

"It was nothing." I shrugged.

"Come now finish your drink." Damien smiled. So I did. Lucas moved closer to me, as I knew he would. I pulled my jumper off and sat back in the booth.

"Close your eyes." He whispered to me. I did. I felt the slicing sharp pain and then the strange dull ache followed by sweet numbness as they took turns to drink. I started to feel faint.

"Stop." Lucas growled. Damien snarled but he stopped none the less. "That's enough for today. Remember, she's still recovering."

Carlisle POV

I pulled the car to a stop outside the club and rushed to the entrance, but a familiar scent stopped me before I went inside. Bella.

I turned around and sure enough a little way down the road I spotted her slouched on a bench with a packet of crisps in her lap. I glanced at her checking for the source of the blood I could smell so clearly. Then I smelt them. Alice was right, she had been with others of our kind.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly, not looking up at me.

"Looking for you actually." I replied sitting next to her. "Alice saw you in danger." I heard laughter fall from her lips...the cold kind.

"Now she sees me? Now?" she nearly shouted, getting to her feet. "After four years! Now she turns the antenna on?" I saw her sway on her feet as she turned to walk away.

"At least let me give you a lift." I said, touching her shoulder. "You don't look well enough to be walking around." She stared back at me and I waited for her snappy response but it never came. She just nodded. I led the way back to the car and she followed. "So where are you heading?"

"Um...just home I guess." She replied quietly. "Straight back through town and right at the lights..." I pulled away and headed back through town as directed.

"What happened Bella?" I asked. "I can smell them you know."

"I'm fine." She replied. I looked at her for a moment.

"No you're not." I said softly.

"Carlisle please." She whispered. Please what? Please don't help? Please leave her alone? I couldn't help the annoyance and desperation that filled me suddenly. I sped up and drove straight through the lights and out of the town and into the middle of nowhere. "You're kidnapping me now?"

Once I had found a secluded enough spot I pulled over.

"What happened?" I asked again. She undid her belt so I locked the car.

"What happened is none of your business." She said coldly. We both stayed silent for a while.

"Bella." I said quietly. "I just want to make sure you're not in any danger."

Bella POV

I finally looked up at him and the genuine concern on his face, in his eyes caused my guilt to rise again. I knew I would end up telling him so I might as well start now, but if I was going to answer his questions then he was sure as hell going to answer mine too.

"Alright." I said. "But if I answer your questions then you have to answer mine."

"Of course, that sounds perfectly reasonable." He replied.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"I work at the hospital. I saw you the other night. I was worried." He replied. "What happened that put you in hospital?"

"You're not going to like the answer to that one..." I sighed.

"It doesn't matter. The truth is the truth, no matter what my opinion of it might be it won't change." He said calmly.

"I'm a donor." I said. "At the club."

"A donor?" he asked. I knew he didn't understand and shifted in my seat uncomfortably.

"A blood donor." I said. I saw the shock and realisation fill his face as all the pieces fell into place.

"They could kill you." He said, turning away from me to look straight ahead.

"They probably will one day, or accidently turn me." I replied.

"Is that why?" he asked, his eyes locking on mine. Good question, but it wasn't his turn to ask.

"Are the others with you?" I asked.

"No." He replied.

"That isn't why." I said, answering his question. "Why now? A lot worse has happened before now with no interference from Alice, I've been doing this for a year. Why now?" He shook his head, I knew he was disappointed.

"She wasn't looking before." He said. "Let me see." He reached for the arm he had treated last week to find it healing well and I handed him the other one. He examined the fresh cut across my wrist and reached under the seat for a first aid kit to clean and dress it.

"Why is she looking now?" I asked.

"Because I asked her to." He replied, wiping the wound carefully. "They use a knife?" I nodded. "Do they drink from you directly?" I nodded again. "And you've never had any problems with venom getting into your system?" I shook my head.

"They've never bitten me, they're very careful." I replied. "They have learnt to control their thirsts...just differently to how your family do."

"They drink from humans Bella." He sighed. "Accidents happen."

"Yes, that's what last week was. One of them got a little carried away." I told him honestly. "Lucas, the one in charge of the club protects me and the others that go there. He only lets them drink a small amount each time."

"Why Bella?" he asked almost desperately.

"You can't let me into your world of things I'd only ever imagined and then expect me to just go back to being normal. It doesn't work like that." I said. After a moment of silence I looked at him again. "Where are they all now?"

"All over...we all had different opinions on what happened when we left Forks, disagreements and such. We all went out separate ways." He said sadly.

"I'm sorry I managed to bring your family so much trouble." I said, and I meant it.

"I think there plenty of blame to be shared out." He said, smiling reassuringly and letting my now bandaged hand drop back into my lap. "I'm sure we all played our parts and we could have all done things differently, but after having lived for as long as I have I have learned that it is never good to dwell on the past, sooner or later you have to let it all out and move on."

"Hm...I can't imagine being as ancient as you are." I replied, smiling slightly.

"Thanks." He replied.

"I'm kidding and you know it." I said, and for a moment I felt like me...like a me from a very long time ago.

Author's Notes: well that's part two wrapped up let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3: Sober

Author's Notes: It's been a while but here's chapter 3. A big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for finding time to help me! If any of you are Happy Potter fans or even just fans of marriage of convenience style stories then check out her story Can We Make It. It's good and hot!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is just for fan purposes.

Addicted

Sober

Carlisle POV

**Two weeks later...**

Bella had been staying with me for just over a week now. I had dropped her back at her apartment and I had checked in on her a few times but then finally persuaded her to live with me. At least for the moment, until she sorts something out for herself. She had opened up a little and seemed a little more like herself again and I had opened up to her in return; and to be honest it felt nice to have someone to talk to. I didn't expect any miracle fixes any time soon though.

For the moment I at least felt useful. After my family had fallen apart at the seams, after leaving Forks the family had been so miserable Alice and Jasper had to leave for a while because Jasper's talents made it too hard for him to be around the family when even Emmett couldn't lift our spirits. After that Edward also left to sulk alone in peace, Esme went to find him but instead found her soul mate leaving me behind with Rose and Emmett. They stayed loyally by my side until I told them it was all right, the Cullen family had finally fallen apart but we would still see each other. I had come here to work and they had gone on a retreat together.

Being here trying to help Bella, it made me feel like I was doing something with my existence again after the past months of emptiness. I still spoke to most of the family from time to time, checked in to see where they were. All except Esme and Edward. My wife and my son...

Edward had been the first member of my family and in time became as close to a real son as I could ever get. I loved him like a son.

What happened with Bella was a huge mistake and a catalyst that destroyed my family, not because of that one thing but it was the final blow that smashed through those cracks we had already suffered. She had been drawn to us and us drawn to her, bringing a fresh breeze of life and heart to our family and leaving her behind had been like taking the filling out of a sandwich; the pieces were there but the life was gone. This was just the damage done to our family let alone Bella.

Bella had not coped well with our departure either. We had opened her eyes to a whole new world, welcomed her into our family and then vanished without a proper goodbye and no real explanation from the family...just whatever Edward had seen fit to tell her. The problem with seeing the supernatural, immortal things in this world is that once you see you can't unsee. Bella knew too much anyway, that was our law and that put her in danger, which had been my main point against Edward's request to leave but he had won in the end.

I couldn't hide my horror and disappointment at the discovery of Bella's involvement in the vampire club in town. I guess she was a worldlier girl than the one we had left behind us. To my knowledge she hadn't been back since I picked her up that day but I couldn't be certain that in the week after that she hadn't revisited them. I could only be certain that in the week she'd been here she had barely left the house. I only knew that because I never caught her scent anywhere outside the house further than the porch.

I wanted her to take time to relax and find Bella; she was somewhere in there...just a little buried and confused.

Bella POV

When I finally gave in and accepted Carlisle's offer to stay with him I spent the first two days pretty much asleep. Hell, it was a week later and I'm pretty sure I've spent most of it asleep! Carlisle insisted that if I trusted him, if I wanted what was best for me I would stop everything in my life and build it back up from scratch. It was hard to accept the help when he first suggested it but eventually it sunk in that I would never get a better offer.

This was a chance to try and sort myself out, get a better job so I could support myself without visiting Flavour for the cash. I had realised though that I even missed it. Having them feed from me was like an addiction and while they fed, I was numb to the pain inside. It was like a drug.

Halfway through the second week staying with Carlisle I cracked. I let out a hiss as I slowly slid the blade across my skin and then I sat on the bathroom floor just enjoying the pulsing numbness that came from my wrist. Then I noticed how much blood was dribbling its way down my wrists and hands dripping onto the floor, there weren't huge puddles or anything but I hadn't realised how much it bled since normally the blood wouldn't be wasted.

"Damn." I heard a voice mutter and then Carlisle entered the room. "Bella, what are you doing?" I felt his cold hand clamp around my cut and he reached for a towel with the other hand to wrap around my cut.

"Sorry." I said quietly, my eyes focused on the blood on the floor. Suddenly my stomach had started to turn.

"Don't go squeamish on me now." He murmured, raising my arm to slow the blood flow. "Bella? Look at me." I blinked a few times before turning my head to look at him. He stood briefly and then crouched back down next to me with a first aid box in hand...must be from the bathroom cabinet. "Just keep your eyes on me." I did. I watched every beautiful detail of his face as he worked wrapping my wrist.

"Sorry." I told him again.

"It's not deep enough to need stitches." He replied, letting go of my arm and raising his gaze to meet mine. "Do you want to tell me the reason for this?"

"I just needed...to feel-" how was I supposed to explain it? I couldn't think of the right words. "When they fed it was like...like they were pulling the pain out of me."

"Come on." He said, helping me up. "Let's get you a drink and a snack." He guided me downstairs to the kitchen and put the kettle on before turning to face me again. His calm response was unnerving.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry." I said.

"Stop apologising Bella. We can't turn back time, the only one who can help the way you feel is you." He replied in that same calm and soothing voice as always. He placed a mug in front of me and then sat opposite me at the counter. "Did Edward ever tell you my story?"

"A bit." I admitted, as if I felt guilty for talking about him, like it was private and in a way I guess some of what Edward had told me was private.

Over the next hour Carlisle shared his version of his beginning to his life with me followed by his experiences since. I didn't feel ashamed anymore...I wasn't the first person to do what I did and I certainly wouldn't be the last. It would take time to heal myself in and out.

"I think it's about time you got some rest don't you?" he said. I shook my head in response.

"I think I've had more than enough rest recently" I replied.

"Then what do you want to do Isabella?" he asked.

"I don't know, what do you do?" I asked him.

"Usually? I read." He shrugged. "I'm sure one day I'll run out of books but the classics will always remain classic."

"Then maybe you can suggest something for me to read?" I suggested.

"Of course." He smiled. "Come with me." Carlisle led the way back upstairs to what appeared to be a bedroom that had been redecorated to be Carlisle's study. Everything in the room looked over a hundred years old and I was afraid to so much as touch anything. He allowed me to choose any book I wished and gestured to the chaise lounge against one wall of the room before choosing his own book and taking a seat in the wooden chair at the desk. I took the cushion from the chaise lounge and instead opted for the floor where I had no worry of rolling off and the carpet was extremely soft.

Carlisle POV

I glanced over at Bella sprawled across the floor of my study with her book; nothing had ever looked so completely out of place and in place at the same time. We read in companionable silence for some time before Bella started to yawn and sigh. She began to shift positions less and less and then I heard her breathing relax.

I leant back in my chair and put my book down as I noticed that she was in fact asleep and smiled to myself. I looked around the bedroom which I had turned into my new study since I had no need for a bedroom and there was another bedroom Bella was able to use already; my shelves full of classic old volumes and the antique desk and chair, the fine art on the walls and the antique wardrobe and chest where I stored my clothes and belongings...then Bella in her jeans and navy blue hoody asleep on the floor...no I wouldn't change a thing.

Author's Notes: let me know what you think guys x


	4. Chapter 4: Bubbles

Author's Notes: It's been a while (ok a loooong while) but here's chapter 4. A big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for finding time to help me! If any of you are Happy Potter fans or even just fans of marriage of convenience style stories then check out her story Can We Make It. It's good and hot! Also if you haven't already check out my other bella/Carlisle fics!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is just for fan purposes.

Addicted

Bubbles

Bella POV

I felt someone shifting me slightly and blinked a few times. Sure enough I could hear my name being called in the distance...no wait...they were right in front of me. I opened my eyes properly to see Carlisle crouched in front of me on the floor, his hand lightly shaking my shoulder.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"I did say you'd better rest, it was the blood lost making you tired." He said softly. "Next time listen to the doctor."

"Sure." I groaned, sitting up. I felt better though. Bleeding really was like having some of the pain drawn out of me; it really did feel better afterwards.

"Would you like to go to bed?" Carlisle asked. "I didn't want to leave you too long, sleeping on the floor is not supposed to be very comfortable."

"I'm fine actually." I replied. Taking his hand as he helped me to my feet. "I feel much better now."

"I'm glad, although I can't say I approve of your methods." He replied cautiously.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." I whispered, and I was. "And I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable." He had told me before he was almost immune to human blood, he must be to work in the hospital every day but still I'm sure that sometimes it got hard.

"I have told you that your blood holds very little problem for me Bella." He said, his fingers tracing the bandage on my wrist. "But it is very dangerous for you to cut yourself like this. You could accidently cut too deep, lose too much blood...having vampires feed off of you is incredibly dangerous Bella. Especially groups of them."

"They were good to me Carlisle." I said, unconsciously swaying closer to his body. "I was fine."

"You ended up in the emergency room Bella, that is most certainly not fine." He replied tensely. I realised now how truly worried about me Carlisle was and felt guilty that I had made him worry in the first place. How had I gotten here? Everything was so messed up...I felt like me again here with Carlisle but there was this constant looming shadow that threatened to drag me down again every single time I thought I was fine. To start with I had heard about the money from the club for donating blood and that had been the appeal, I managed to pay my rent thanks to giving up a little blood...but I found that it numbed the pain I was feeling so well that I kept going back not just for the money but for the relief. It was an addiction. I slid my arms slowly around Carlisle's waist and nuzzled my face against his shirt, instantly I felt my eyes prickling with tears.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'm sorry for worrying you." I meant every word. I felt his arms finally come around to hug me back and we stayed like that for a short while.

"Can you promise me one thing Bella?" he asked after a moment of silence. I nodded, without looking up. He lifted my chin until I looked him in the eye. His eyes were beautiful, paler than any of the others in his family. He must have just hunted before he came home... "Just promise me next time you feel like you are unable to cope come to me first; talking about it may help or perhaps I could prescribe you something to help?"

"OK, I can do that." I nodded, he didn't reply or make any move backwards instead continuing to lock his gaze with mine, pinning me to the spot. I couldn't look away and I couldn't move. I could hear my heart pounding suddenly and licked my lips before blinking and ducking my head nervously. What was that? Carlisle was handsome definitely but I had never been dazzled by him like that before.

"Good." He said, stepping away from me with his usual smile.

Another two weeks had passed and I knew that I was starting to lose it again. If I couldn't get a grip soon I would have to talk to Carlisle like I promised. I was determined though that I was not going to slip. I had spent more time reading and cleaning the house, not that it needed much cleaning but still it didn't hurt and it kept me busy. I had just finished ironing a pile of Carlisle's shirts for work when he came in.

"Bella how many times must I tell you that you don't have to do that?" he asked, hanging his jacket up.

"About as many times as I have to tell you it keeps me busy." I grinned. "If you get to look after me at least let me make sure you have clean clothes."

Carlisle POV

I couldn't help the smile that slid onto my face as I came into the house and found Bella stood with the ironing board again, listening to the radio and almost dancing as she folded my shirt. I told her off of course, she wasn't here to look after me; it was supposed to be the other way around but she insisted that she liked being busy and it did save me ironing my shirts myself even though I could move considerably faster. She just seemed content to clean the house and do the laundry so I let her. Perhaps it had a relaxing affect on her.

"If you are going to continue doing my washing then I think I should cook you dinner." I told her.

"Carlisle it's not a big deal, I have to wash and iron my own clothes anyway and it's not like your clothes even get that dirty." She replied, turning off the iron and pushing the board to one side. "Besides I still have some pasta leftover from yesterday. I keep making too much."

"Very well." I sighed; passing her I leant and kissed her forehead briefly. "Thank you." My only thought on the way up the stairs was that she smelled incredible. Her hair smelled of strawberries...that gave me an idea.

I waited until I could hear Bella washing up her plate after dinner and then started the water running. I found some bath bubbles to add and then gathered a large white towel and a small radio. I didn't have any candles but settled for using the dimmer light above the mirror.

"Bella?" I called, wandering down the stairs to find her. She was still in the kitchen when I found her with a glass of fruit juice in her hand. "Would you please follow me for a moment?"

"Um...ok, sure." She replied. I ushered her upstairs and into the bathroom much to her questioning gaze as I did so. I couldn't help but chuckle wondering what she could possibly think I was doing. "What are you-" I swung the bathroom door open and she stopped to take in the dimly lit room and soft music.

"I think you have earned a nice relaxing soak." I told her. "I apologise if the temperature is not to your liking but obviously I feel temperatures a little different from you." She shyly walked over to the tub and dipped her fingers in.

"No it's perfect." She mumbled. "Thank you." I nodded and excused myself.

Not ten minutes later I could hear Bella humming and singing along with the radio. It was strange to think that even one person could brighten the house. I had moved here because the job was a good offer in a location that had weather suitable to my needs. Since Esme had left me for her true mate and Edward had vanished almost immediately following leaving Forks the family had drifted and I just needed somewhere to go.

This house was the first one I found for sale a suitable distance from the town to allow me wooded areas to hunt fairly close. It was a large house but only had three bedrooms rather than the usual mass of upstairs rooms we had when we lived as a family. To start with the house felt too large for me. I set up my study in the smallest of the bedrooms and placed my clothes in another to act as a bedroom although I failed to use it as much more than a glorified closet. Still I worked as many hours as I could and spent any remaining time hunting or reading.

Now I had Bella to fill my time. She brought the house to life with her constant singing and humming, her dancing around the house and accidently breaking things and falling over. In fact she sometimes reminded me of Alice. Not to say that they were the same, they were actually different in nearly every way but when Alice had first joined our family it was like someone had lit a fuse. She exploded life into us all. Bella had done the same here.

I snapped my head towards the door of the study suddenly. I could smell blood, Bella's blood. I frowned and darted to the bathroom door. I told her to come to me. To talk to me! I swung the door open and then stopped very suddenly. For the first time in many years I felt like an utter fool. Bella had stopped mid motion with one leg in the air and razor in hand.

"My apologies." I said quickly, averting my gaze from the bathtub. "I thought you were hurt."

"I just cut myself shaving. I do that a lot, that's why I tend to shower while you're already at work." She shrugged. "I think I need a new razor. Carlisle you don't have to face the door you know, there are bubbles in this bath."

"I was trying to be polite." I defended turning back towards her slightly. I immediately stared at the source of the blood. A small cut at her ankle that due to the water diluting the blood looked like it was bleeding rather a lot when it was actually tiny. Bella's eyes followed my gaze and she quickly dipped her leg back into the bath to wash the blood off.

"Sorry." She said. "Do vampires have to shave?"

"Very, very rarely." I told her. "Our hair is the only thing that changes about us and even that is so slow to grow that it means haircuts and shaving are very rare events."

"So have you ever thought about growing a beard or doing something crazy with your hair?" she grinned. I moved closer to her and sat on the floor with my back against the bathtub. This meant that I was able to avert my gaze as was only polite and still have a conversation with her perfectly naturally.

"My hair has been slightly longer, that is probably the extent of it. I had considered the beard to make me look older but if I am honest it just didn't suit." I told her. "Jasper has been known to have rather long hair before, a ponytail actually. Emmett cut it off as a joke, Alice was not amused." Bella laughed at this, a sound I would be content to listen to all night.

"Tell me something else." She grinned.

"Like what?"

"I don't know something else cool like that."

"Not all vampires are good at everything." I said, I knew she would be interested in this one.

"Please tell me you're joking." She choked out. "You're _all_ good at _everything_!"

"Not true." I replied. "Vampires have more time to learn than humans, our brains function faster and our bodies are faster, stronger and so on however there are some things that aren't always governed by those things. Mostly you will find the things that vampires do not always posses natural talents for are singing, music, artwork and poetry. Some vampires just do not have the creativity even if they could have skill."

"Carlisle?" she asked quietly. I simply turned to face her and waited for her to continue. She was now sat up in the bath, knees pulled up to her stomach, head hung low. "Would you ever feed off of me?" She didn't elaborate; she and I both knew very well what she meant.

"No Bella." I replied.

"Isn't that safer?" she asked, still not daring to look at me. "I need it Carlisle and you would never hurt me."

"Which is exactly why I am saying no." I told her firmly. "I will never hurt you intentionally but can't you see that this solution is ridiculous? Dangerous?"

"You said yourself I could cut myself too deep by accident, you wouldn't take too much blood and you wouldn't cut too deep." She reasoned.

"No Bella." I sighed. "We need to find a way to stop this not encourage it." Finally she looked at me only part of me wished she hadn't; tears now followed freely down her face and her eyes looked furious.

"You told me to tell you, talk to you when I couldn't cope and I'm telling you I can't cope!" she cried. "I need the pain to go away. I need it!" I wanted to call Jasper, ask him to be her little dose of pain medication when she got like this but I knew two things...firstly it was again not a permanent solution and secondly with Bella's tendency to be bleeding a lot recently it wasn't fair to tempt Alice and Jasper with it.

"Would you consider some form of medication Bella?" I asked her softly, trying to bring in my doctor voice. She shook her head and just cried.

"I'm done talking now." She sobbed. I turned back around and sigh heavily, dropping my head backwards to thud against the bathtub loudly. She continued to shave her leg where she left off; I could hear the slow strokes between her small sobs. Then I smelt her blood again and snapped my head around again.

"Bella if you keep doing that I'm going to begin thinking it is not an accident." I murmured.

"You do it then!" she huffed, I'm not sure it she even realised what she said, whether she meant that it was deliberate and that I should have fed from her or that it was an accident and she wanted me to try I didn't know but decisively I lifted the small razor from her grasp and leant over the bathtub. I was a doctor, I had seen naked flesh and focused on much more important things than just shaving before so this should be no problem. I reached out my free hand to guide her leg up to rest on the edge of the bath and started where she had left off, slowly running the small blade across her skin over and over, until moments later I adjusted her so that I could do the other leg. In silence I continued and she watched me, I felt her watching me. She wasn't uncomfortable but she wasn't comfortable either...nervous perhaps? I lowered her leg back into the now lukewarm water and looked back up to meet her gaze at last.

"All done." I told her, putting on my beset bedside manner and smile.

Bella POV

I'm fairly certain I had forgotten how to breathe for a moment back there. Carlisle took no time in finishing my handiwork. I was almost disappointed it didn't take him longer, now he was no longer touching me. I tried to open my mouth to say thank you but all I kept thinking was that I was going to shave somewhere else as well and picturing him doing the same. I felt myself flush heavily and then shiver.

"Of course, the water must be cold by now." He said suddenly, breaking straight through my trail of thought, which was probably for the best. "Would you like some more warm water or would you like to get out now?"

"I'll just get out now." I replied.

"Very well, then please call if you need anything." He said standing and disappearing out of the door with a brief smile. I let out a deep breath and took another in. Carlisle Cullen; hot? Definitely. Sexy? As hell! Seductive? More than a melt in the middle chocolate fudge brownie dessert... Aware of it? I sighed and smiled to myself; probably not in the least, he was far too politically correct for such thoughts and behaviour.


	5. Chapter 5: Choices

Author's Notes: Once again it's been a while so I'm sorry about that. Don't have an excuse I just keep switching the stories I'm writing for. As always a big thanks to JenJenSon for her help and I hope you all enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is just for fan purposes.

Addicted

Choices

Bella POV

After I had gotten myself dressed and dried my hair I realised that I had not actually discussed a solution with Carlisle. His suggestion was medication, something I wasn't sure I liked the sound of. Then my mind drifted back to his hands moving quickly over my skin, his golden eyes and his hair falling ever so slightly over his eyes. I felt my stomach flipped at the thought and my cheeks heated up slightly. All the vampires I had met were beautiful and alluring, even the scary ones...but it was becoming more than that with Carlisle. He protected me, he cared about me and he was the kindest person I knew. What originally started as me being dazzled as I would be by any vampire turned into curiosity and awe as I got to know him and now...now that I had met him for the second time and had been spending time with him alone it had grown to a friendship and definitely attraction.

I headed back downstairs and got myself a drink. Carlisle was still upstairs, presumably in his study so I sat on the couch with my hot chocolate and flicked on the television. There wasn't much on, all I found was the film 'Labyrinth', an old film but I had liked it as a child so I watched it now.

"Bella," a voice called me, I blinked and sat up. "You should go to bed."

"I fell asleep?" I enquired, glancing at the television to realise I had indeed fallen asleep and the film was over and a cartoon was now playing instead. I yawned and stood up to turn off the television. "I didn't even realise I was this tired."

"It is late." He commented. Then I remembered that I was only in my nightwear, whilst it was not exactly some sexy lingerie it was probably more revealing than I was comfortable with in front of Carlisle. My shorts were barely bigger than underwear and I wore a simple baggy t-shirt also. At least in the bath I was completely submerged in water and covered by bubbles... He obviously noticed my nervousness; of course he would given his heightened senses. "Bella?"

"Sorry." I mumbled automatically, without a real reason. I started up the stairs passing him on the third step from the bottom and continuing up them carefully to avoid falling. That was until I realised that if he looked up Carlisle would be able to see under my t-shirt to my barely there shorts and sped up.

"Bella!" I heard him call. I span around to face him and slipped on the step. He caught my arm before I could fall and waited until I steadied myself before letting go. He chuckled to himself. "If you are not comfortable being seen in your sleepwear perhaps you should refrain from wearing it outside of your bedroom."

"I um...yeah." I stammered before stepping back from him. "Night."

"Hello?" I answered my phone groggily. I glanced at the alarm clock next to the bed; it was nearly three in the morning.

'Bella! Where the hell have you been?' the voice on the other end practically screamed. I could hear the music in the background.

"Lacey?"

'Yeah Bell you mean you do remember me then?' she laughed.

"Sorry, I've been out of town."

'Well look, I miss you babes come out with my Friday!'

"I don't know Lace...I'll let you know alright?"

'You'd better!' And like that she hung up. I sighed, when I had no clue where to go or what to do I had met Lacey, Jenny and Danny and they had let me crash with them. They'd helped me get a part-time job and Lacey and shown my Flavor the first time. She didn't know there were real vampires in the club of course she just thought it was a cool club.

I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." I called.

"Bella are you alright? It's rather late." He asked.

"I know you just heard that whole conversation and probably her end to." I grinned. "You don't have to pretend. So what did you want?"

"Sorry, I just wondered why the hesitation to spend time with your friend...we both know you could use a distraction right now." He said.

"Um...actually I wasn't sure going out to a club was such a good idea...I don't have the best ideas when I'm drunk." I replied slowly. Carlisle stepped further into the room until I could actually see him rather than just a shadow by the door.

"Then perhaps you could do something else." He suggested.

"You don't know my friends...they don't do anything else." I chuckled. "Every night is party night. I do kinda want to go, I mean they're my friends but...you know how much of a danger magnet I am Carlisle and I can't trust myself to-" A lightbulb flicked on in my head instantly and I stopped mid-sentence. Who did I know that did nothing but work? That could use a good deal of fun? I grinned at him knowing he could see me.

"Go on out with it." He said.

"Come with me." I grinned.

"I really don't think that I would fit in." He replied. "But I would happily drop you off and pick you up to ensure your safety."

"No, you're coming with me." I said firmly. "You don't leave the house for anything other than work. You can keep me out of trouble and it's not like I'm asking you to go out all the time just this once. You can hate it as much as you like if you want."

"Very well. On this one occasion I will accompany you." He sighed.

"Yes!" I grinned, throwing my arms in the air. "I can't wait!"

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" he sighed.

"Thank you!" I grinned.

"You should go back to sleep Bella, we can talk about it tomorrow." He said, heading back to the door.

"Fine." I pouted.

Carlisle POV

The past month had been a complete variation on my usual pattern. Bella had certainly shaken things up and I certainly wouldn't have it any other way. After the incident in the bath a few days ago I had realised that I did in fact have an attraction to Bella, and I was fairly certain she was not so indifferent to me either however I could be wrong in that assumption and it could be no more than the glamour my kind hold over humans that is causing it for her.

I gathered my things and popped my head into the kitchen briefly where Bella sat at the counter eating her breakfast.

"Have a good day Bella; I'll be home around four." I told her, before making for the front door. It was still early but I knew what today would bring...tonight was Friday.

I was still convinced that this was an awful idea but in the past few weeks Bella had completely wrapped me around her finger and I could deny her nothing. If one night of standing in a club of young intoxicated humans with loud music was all it took to keep her happy then it seemed a small ask.

That was until I got home and found Bella ironing again and she looked up at me thoughtfully as I greeted her. I studied her teeth nibbling on her lower lip as she thought.

"Carlisle, do you have anything to wear tonight?" she asked. I suddenly realised that I had not even considered it. "You know something...cool and not something that makes you look like someone's dad?"

"I may have, to be honest I hadn't put a lot of thought into it." I chuckled. "Although I feel I should be offended."

"No not at all what I meant was...you're used to dressing to make yourself look older but now you need to dress more your age." She explained.

"I don't think I have any clothes that old." I murmured.

"Carl-isle! You know what I mean!" she pouted. "Jeans! What about jeans? That's easy everyone wears jeans and you've got plenty of shirts."

"I'm sure I will find something Bella. I wouldn't want to embarrass you." I chuckled, hanging my jacket up and heading upstairs.

"Carlisle how old are you? I mean when you were turned how old were you?" she asked, causing me to pause and turn to face her again.

"Twenty-three." I replied.

"Perfect." She replied. "Dress like you're twenty-three...but from this decade not the sixteen-hundreds."

Bella POV

Carlisle spent the next hour or so in his study presumably reading the pile of the latest medical journals he had brought in with him. I had finished the ironing and was taking a moment to relax and channel flick. In the end I settled for a friends re-run.

"Bella have you eaten yet?" I heard Carlisle call as he came down the stairs.

"No not yet." I replied not really taking me eyes off of the screen. "I wasn't really hungry earlier so I'll make a snack in a bit." He didn't reply but disappeared into another room.

During the next episode of friends I was presented with a plate of pasta, with a bolognaise sauce and grated cheese on top. I stared up at Carlisle not really knowing what to say, thank you didn't seem to be quite enough by now...he already did so much for me.

"You can't start drinking on an empty stomach." He said. "It is very bad for you and I would be forced to bring you home rather early."

"Thank you." I replied. "You didn't need to cook for me. You don't have to do anything for me...but you do and just thanks I guess..." I sat up and placed a cushion on my lap before balancing the plate on it and tucking in. Carlisle sat next to me on the couch and glanced at the television.

"You deserve to be happy Bella." He said quietly. "And I cannot say my action are entirely selfless anyway."

"How so?" I asked, between mouthfuls. I hadn't realised how hungry I was and for someone who couldn't eat he sure cooked well.

"Bella I am used to having a whole family of people around me, having no one can suddenly seem very...quiet." he explained, then he lowered his gaze a little and I saw his tongue dart over his lips. "And I already failed you once Bella, by leaving you behind. You were part of the family and instead of listening to what we knew to be true we listened to Edward, we should never have done that. I won't leave you behind again."

"Leave me behind? Why where are you planning on going?" I asked, stopping eating very quickly at the thought of him leaving.

"No where at the moment." He chuckled. "What I mean was, _if_ and I would understand if you didn't, but if you wanted to join me when I do try to put my family back together you are more than welcome. You are still part of the family and we all care about you Bella."

"Hm...would this involve a round of Bella Barbie from Alice?" I asked before my serious face cracked into a grin. "I would love to spend any time I could with you and your family Carlisle...one member excluded..." I muttered the last part to myself but he obviously heard it. It was hard to remember that no matter how quietly you spoke you would be heard.

"Bella, if this is too personal then by all means you do not have to answer but my curiosity is getting the better of me." Carlisle mused. "What did Edward say to you when he left? I didn't expect you to let him go so easily, or any of us for that matter."

"Let?" I snorted, putting my pretty empty plate on the coffee table. "Like I could physically stop any of you."

"You could have threatened all sorts to make him stay if you had wanted. Alice would have seen it." He replied.

"I did try to follow him." I said quietly. "I got lost in the woods. I must have passed out because Sam Uley from the reservation at La Push was the one who found me."

"He left you in the woods?" Carlisle asked in disbelief.

"Not exactly, he left me on the path from my house, I could have found my way back if I hadn't tried to follow him." I explained.

"So did he tell you that we couldn't stay in Forks anymore?" he asked.

"No. Well yes at first; but I wanted to go with you all so he dropped that line pretty quickly." I muttered. I picked up my plate and stood up abruptly, heading to the kitchen. I moved to the sink and ran the water to wash my plate and any other bits I found from Carlisle's cooking. I caught his figure stood in the doorway from the corner of my eye. I continued washing up; I didn't turn around. "He told me he didn't want me anymore, he didn't want to pretend to be human when he wasn't, I'm not good for him...any of you."

I gasped and dropped the plate in the sink as I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind and someone's head nuzzling my hair...Carlisle. I took a few deep breaths; I was not going to cry. I was determined not to cry.

"Edward shouldn't have said those things. He was lying to get you to stay." He said softly. "He made us all leave to protect you."

"Protect me from what? Being human? I managed to injure myself just fine before I met any of you, did he think I would just never get hurt?" I asked, lifting my hand for Carlisle to see for emphasis. The now broken plate had left a small cut on my finger, barely bigger than a paper cut but it proved my point.

"Bella you knowing about us is against the laws of our kind. If the Volturi were to find out they wouldn't hesitate to turn you or more likely kill you. Not to mention what happened with James. Other vampires will cross our path from time to time that would view a human staying with us as a challenge." He continued to speak softly, not letting me go, not holding me tighter and not turning me around. The whole time I was getting more and more aware of how close he was to me.

"Carlisle, maybe he should have just told me that and let me decide if I wanted to be in danger or not. I'm old enough to make my own choices and make my own mistakes. If he didn't think he could allow me to do that then I really was no more than his human pet." I sighed, side-stepping out of his arms, which he allowed me to do as if he were no stronger than me and I had actually pushed his arms away. I found a piece of kitchen towel to wipe my finger and then dug in the cupboard for a box of plasters.

I headed back to the sink to find that Carlisle had already finished the washing up and now stood leaning back against the sink to face me.

"Bella, forgive my if this sounds a little insensitive because whilst I do not agree with Edward's decision, you yourself have just established that you deserve to make your own choices and that was his. He chose to lie, he chose to leave you and he has to live with that choice, he is free to make his own choices and live with the consequences." He said, his eyes locking on mine. "So Bella, what's your choice?"

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	6. Chapter 6: Attraction

Author's Notes: Thought I'd try to hurry the chapters up a little while I'm in the writing mood. Hope you guys are enjoying and sorry that some of the chapters are short but I always figure short is better than none. So let me know what you think! A big thank you to AbbeNormal, whitegurl2013, mama4dukes, and Babe Pryor, to name just a few of you who keep coming back for more! If I've missed anyone I'm sorry and thank you for following the story! Finally a big thanks to JenJenSon for all her help, without her none of you would be able to read it due to my mass of typos!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is just for fan purposes. Lyrics from Keith Urban's Once in a lifetime love.

Addicted

Attraction

Carlisle POV

I finished the remaining washing up and threw away the broken plate before she turned back around. I waited for her to turn back to face me wanting nothing more than to hold her as tightly as I could, but I knew that wasn't what she needed. Right now she needed to gain confidence and strength herself.

"Bella, forgive me if this sounds a little insensitive because whilst I do not agree with Edward's decision, you yourself have just established that you deserve to make your own choices and that was his. He chose to lie, he chose to leave you and he has to live with that choice, he is free to make his own choices and live with the consequences." I told her, the minute she met my eyes I felt that earlier attraction threatening to flare up again but chose to ignore it. "So Bella, what's your choice?"

"What choice?" she asked, I could see the confusion written across her face.

"Your life Bella; what do you want to do with it? Which career path is for you? Where do you want to live? You wanted a choice and I'm wondering if you've actually thought about what you want." I smiled as her mouth opened but no words followed.

"I guess I never really thought about it." She admitted.

"Then perhaps that is what you should be concentrating on." I suggested. "Except right now you should probably start thinking of getting ready."

"Carlisle! Why didn't you tell me it was half seven already?" she exclaimed, running from the room. I chuckled to myself and silently waited as I heard her stumble on the third step from the top before continuing the last few steps. She was priceless.

I made my way back to my study although part of me enjoyed listening to Bella thumping around in her rush. My leisurely state came to an abrupt halt when I heard her approach and waited for her to speak before turning to face her.

"Carlisle you're not ready yet!" she exclaimed. "It only takes you seconds but there's no need to wait until the last second!" I wasn't really listening to her though. My eyes were busy following the curves of her legs up to her denim skirt and then the tiny inch of bare mid-stomach before her top started...all the way up to her exposed neck and shoulders from the tiny strap that tied around the back of her neck and her dark hair straightened out to frame her face and fall sleekly down her back.

"Bella you look...Bella..." I tried to think of the words I was searching for but all that came to mind were a load of lines Emmett had said in the past that despite their accuracy were somewhat crude. "Aren't you going to get cold?"

"Really? That's the line you're going with?" she grinned. "I never thought I'd see you of all people having to think of something to say and you give up? I'm disappointed in you."

"Forgive me, Bella. You really do look positively beautiful however they were not the first words that came to my mind." I admitted with a smile. "Still, I do think you will get cold."

"I'll be fine." She dismissed with a wave of her hand. "Now are you going to get dressed?"

"Very well." I conceded, standing from my chair and heading to my "bedroom" which was mainly for storage purposes. I did manage to find some jeans in my closet in a pile of folded clothes at the bottom. Those were fairly straightforward and then I pulled on a blue shirt and started looking for my shoes. I heard the door open and Bella enter the room. "Nearly done."

"No you're not." She replied, frowning at my shirt. "You lived with Alice for how long? You're wearing pair for very dark blue jeans with a pale blue shirt...to go to a club."

"I take it from your tone you have a better suggestion." I said, raising my eyebrow at her. Sure enough she made her way straight over to my wardrobe and started flicking through my shirts.

"Bingo." She announced, pulling a black shirt out, it was a more casual looking shirt that I had actually forgotten I even had probably due to the fact Alice probably brought it. It came with pre-rolled sleeves and had a breast pocket on each side. She held the shirt out to me expectantly so I quickly unbuttoned and removed my blue shirt and pulled on the black one only stopping when I noticed that she was watching me. I know that for the most part I had vampire venom to thank for my appearance but it didn't stop the slight swell of masculine pride that it was appreciated.

Bella POV

I had been expecting him to take the shirt, and then I would have either left the room or at least I expected him to turn around instead of leave me to uncontrollably stare at his bare chest for the brief moments that it took him to change his shirt. I couldn't help it; my eyes had widened in shock and then fixed on every muscle, every line, and every bit of bare skin...crap. I'd been caught. I felt heat rise in my face.

"Sorry." I mumbled quickly. Then he did the most un-Carlisle thing I had ever seen him do, he just winked at me and smiled his usual warm smile before resuming his hunt for his shoes.

Less than half an hour later we were in his car heading towards the town. Carlisle parked up in a car park, a short walk from the club we were meeting my friends at.

"The club has a car park." I commented.

"I think people would find it worrying if they saw me drinking and then hoping into my car outside don't you?" Carlisle asked.

"Oh right." I replied. "I didn't realise you were going to drink. Can vampires get drunk?"

"Of sorts I suppose. It takes a lot more alcohol to start to take effect on us and the venom tends to burn through it fairly quickly. I could drink all night and feel no more than perhaps a little uninhibited." He explained as we walked down the street.

"I like that sound of that." I chuckled. "How many drinks did you say that would take?"

"Quite a few." He replied evenly.

"Just a warning but Stacey will probably throw herself at you." I said quickly as we rounded the final corner.

"Excuse me?" Carlisle blinked.

"Well, let's face it, it's a club, alcohol, she's single and let's face it you're pretty hot." I babbled.

"Hot?" he questioned, but I could tell from his grin he was just teasing.

"Yes, alright? It was just a warning so you know to expect it." I said defensively.

"Bella I am accompanying you, it would be very inappropriate to spare my attentions to anyone but you this evening." He said. I giggled to myself, his old fashioned ways were sometimes really too adorable.

"I appreciate the sentiment but I doubt most of the people in there would even understand the meaning of it." I smiled, tucking my arm around his as we entered the club.

I saw Carlisle wince slightly as the noise hit us, it was loud to me, to him it must have been deafening. We weaved our way through the crowd to the bar and waited to be served. A few moments later Carlisle nudged me slightly and turned me to face away from the bar. Sure enough I spotted what he was trying to point out.

"Bella!" I heard a shout over the noise. I turned to see Jenny and Danny working their way through the crowd towards us. I smiled as she rushed over to hug me in excitement. "I've been shouting for ages I thought you'd never hear me!" I wouldn't tell her I still hadn't heard her Carlisle had then.

"Hey!" I grinned, letting go of Jenny and hugging Danny briefly. Danny reminded me a little of Emmett sometimes, he was pretty huge and very upbeat, however he did seem rather more...not intellectual because I'm not calling Emmett stupid perhaps more academic is the word? He had messy dark hair held into its perfect mess with gel. Jenny like me was quite pale and had dark curls...however she was a little more well endowed in certain areas than me, areas that Danny was currently staring at even though he was talking to me.

"Where on earth have you been this past month? It's like you dropped off the face of the planet." He asked.

"I moved actually." I replied. "Just outside of town, so it's not as easy to get in and out."

"Oh right. You definitely need to get a car then. If you don't go shopping with Stacey and Jenny keeps going in your place I'm going to be broke forever." He laughed.

"It'd be rude not to buy anything." Jenny protested. Then she glanced over my shoulder at Carlisle ordering drinks before speaking to me in a more quiet voice. "Who's your friend? Major hot friend I might add!"

"Um...that's Carlisle." I replied awkwardly, knowing he would hear whatever I said. What was he exactly...he was no longer my ex-boyfriend's dad to me so what was he exactly. "Actually it's him that I'm living with." I blurted vaguely, praying that the questions ended there.

"You mean, like a thing?" she asked, no such luck obviously. "You mean you get to-"

"Here you go." Carlisle's voice interrupted, handing me my drink. I let out a breath, thank god.

"Carlisle, these are my friend Jenny and Danny, guys this is Carlisle." I said, he leant forward and shook their hands. Jenny gave me an odd look, one that I chose to ignore. "Um...so where's Stacey?"

"Need you ask?" Danny laughed. Jenny pointed and near the front of the dance floor I managed to spot Stacey, dancing pretty up close and personal with a guy I didn't know.

"Of course." I murmured. After a brief and slightly awkward conversation, mainly due to us all avoiding the conversation on what kind of relationship Carlisle and I actually had. I didn't want to lie and say we were involved when we weren't but some selfish and jealous part of me didn't want anyone knowing he was single either... anyway, after the attempted conversation and a few more drinks Stacey joined us. Stacey was every man's fantasy of a woman's figure, not too thin, but still flat stomach with large breasts, rounded hips and a pretty face. She had striking blue eyes and blonde hair; although naturally her hair was more of a brown she always dyed it. She wore denim micro shorts and a loose fitting dark pink top that hung low on her back and front, exposing her wonderful figure for everyone to see...not that I was jealous at all of course.

"What are you all doing standing over here? You should be dancing!" she announced firmly. Then she noticed Carlisle. "Hey cutie, now I know why Bella's been hiding you!" I bowed my head, mortified at hers words. Carlisle didn't answer her; he just smiled. She was about to say something else but never got the chance before the guy she had been dancing with snaked his arms around her.

"I wondered where you had disappeared off to." He murmured to her. "I wasn't finished with you." He tugged her onto the dance floor again and I glanced to Jenny.

"You going to dance with me then?" she asked. "Leave these guys to it?" I looked to Carlisle uncertainly.

"Go." He chuckled. "The idea is you have fun tonight." I took Jenny's hand and we followed Stacey onto the dance floor. I didn't know how long it was but some time later, and it must had been a while because I felt boiling from dancing Danny pulled Jenny into his arms and kissed her firmly on the lips. I was about to tell him to take his paws off of her because we were dancing when I felt cool hands slide around my waist and rest on my stomach. I leant back against Carlisle's body enjoying how cool he was. I lifted one of his hands and placed it against my forehead and sighed at the nice cool feeling.

'_So don't hold back now, just let go,_

_Of all you've ever known, you can put your hand in mine'_

"So being cold _is_ useful on occasion." He chuckled in my ear.

"Very." I nodded, before turning to face him. He slid his hand down from my forehead and to my cheek before continuing down my neck. I could feel my heart start hammering harder than it had done from the dancing. No one had treated me like Carlisle did. He helped me but didn't take away my freedom, he had become one of my best friends, he would do anything for me without me even asking...and it wasn't just attraction anymore, I was falling for Carlisle Cullen. That notion suddenly brought out nerves and fears I didn't even know existed. "Um...I'm going to get another drink." I took a step back and made a motion to turn but his hand on my waist held firm.

'_I can see it in your eyes and feel it in your touch,_

_I know that scared but you've never been this loved'_

I forced myself to look at him, look him in the eye as he tugged me back to him.

"Dance with me Bella?" He said, it sounded like a question, but it wasn't one. I placed my hand nervously on his chest and lowered my gaze to eye his buttons nervously. He took my hand lightly in his and started to move us to the beat. I think he was grateful that the song was fairly slow, they only ever played one of two slower tracks and it was purely for the purpose of allowing couples to dance together. "Breath Bella." He commanded softly in my ear. I took in a deep breath and stepped closer to him, dancing with him rather than him just moving us. Then the track changed and I couldn't help but grin as the heavy dance music resumed. I smirked up at him.

"Can you keep up?" I asked. I gasped loudly as he abruptly pulled me flat against him.

'_Just keep on moving into me, I know you're gonna see,_

_The best is yet to come'_

"Are you forgetting Isabella that I am somewhat faster than you are?" he replied softly, his hands pressing into my back. Normally I would be bright red by now but instead I felt all the blood drain from my face, I had never been so nervous. I felt lightheaded but feeling a firm squeeze on my behind brought me back down to earth. "Are you afraid of me?"

"No." I croaked. I shook my head to emphasis my point, which also cleared my head a little. "Just try to keep up." I span in his arms and he laughed as I started to dance.

"For someone who is rather uncoordinated you don't do too badly." He commented.

"I blame the alcohol!" I grinned. Watching Carlisle dance was incredibly funny, not because he was bad at it but because it was just a sight I never thought I'd see. Dr. Carlisle Cullen, in a club, jeans, casual black shirt with a few buttons undone and dancing like everyone else. I squeaked as I suddenly felt his breath in my ear.

"Do you want to tell me what is so amusing to you?" he asked. I continued to dance trying not to let his voice affect me as much as it was and I was becoming all too aware that I was now dancing against him. "I'm waiting."

"Hehe...it's just kinda different seeing you not in work mode." I giggled lamely.

Carlisle POV

Not in work mode? Was she joking? Did she not see that I could not even be close to work mode when I was around her? Not even when treating her cuts could I pull myself into my strictly professional manner, not now I knew her and certainly not now she wore so little and was dancing in front of me, so close that I could feel had backside brush against me every now and then. Bella was almost forcing me to stop acting so old... I had always tried to act older because once I had a family around me it was how I was supposed to act and in truth I enjoyed looking after people. Bella hadn't forced me to come out with her but she had asked and there was no way I could refuse her, I would do almost anything to make her happy and to keep her safe. The truth that I had been forced to realise was that when faced with an attractive young woman I could be reduced to acting just as young and be just as tempted and as if I really was just twenty-three.

My control very quickly vanishing I reached forward and pulled her tight against me so that she was moving against my body, I suppressed the purr the rolled through my chest. Part of me was appalled at my own behaviour, pawing at the poor girl in public like a seventeen-year-old schoolboy. I span her round to face me again, my eyes burning into hers, as we stood practically nose-to-nose. This girl would easily be the death of me. The attraction was threatening to set us both on fire, I was supposed to be the more mature one here, and I had to talk to Bella about it...


	7. Chapter 7: Ideas

Author's Notes: Here's another one. I can't promise I'll get another chance to write so much for a little while so I thought I'd give it my all while it lasts. As always, a big thanks to JenJenSon for all her help. I'm so glad people are liking this story. Please continue to enjoy and let me know what you think! Don't forget to add to your alerts/favourites/C2s is you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is just for fan purposes.

Addicted

Ideas

Bella POV

As he span me back around part of me thought that he was about to tell me off for acting like a horny teenager because he had spun me so fast, but then when our gazes clashed his eyes were so black I guessed that was probably the case...I had crossed the line from harmless flirting to practically humping him on the dance floor...just with our clothes on. He looked at me hard and then looked like he was about to say something before shutting his mouth again.

"Carlisle...I'm sorry. We can just go now if you want t-" then though it was impossible as he pressed me closer to him until our lips met, briefly first, gauging reactions, testing each other then again and again until his lips coaxed mine open enough to stroke his cool tongue along mine. His lips were cold but not so cold that it was uncomfortable, just enough to make my own warm lips feel a bit more sensitive and it wasn't long until our mouths adjusted to each other causing a luke warm temperature. His lips were hard but the skill it must have taken to be so gentle against mine... I moaned as my body pressed against his and a knot started curling in my stomach.

Carlisle was kissing me, and kissing me like he meant it. It wasn't a desperate, hard and fast kiss it was just natural and had me not wanting to breathe just so that I didn't have to stop.

Carlisle POV

This was not talking. What part of this was talking? How did Bella make me lose complete control of myself like this? I started to reign myself in, feeling Bella's small frame pressing intimately against mine was not helping me think clearly. I had to stop and talk, we had to talk before we lost control of the situation completely. I just hoped that this wasn't just a reaction to alcohol on Bella's part. I forced my hands to stop grabbing at her and pulled my lips away from hers somewhat hesitantly before stepping back a little to allow a few inches of space between us. I didn't however want her to feel like I was completely rejecting her and so kept my arms loosely around her, caressing the soft skin of her back in a soothing motion. I wasn't sure whom I was actually soothing though, her or me?

"Bella perhaps it would be wise to step outside for a moment?" I suggested, leaning forward to talk into her ear so that she could hear me without me having to shout. She bit her lip, a nervous habit she seemed to have not outgrown and nodded her head before glancing behind her to her friends, all of whom seemed as caught up in each other as Bella and I had been just moments ago. We headed outside and I had to admit I felt immediate relief from the noise inside. Bella however suddenly looked a little bit unsteady on her feet. I took her hands and led her away from the entrance until she could lean back against the wall of the building.

"Bella, are you feeling alright?" I asked her. She nodded, if somewhat unconvincingly. I nodded back and reached out my hand to run along her upper arm, whichever way this conversation went I certainly didn't want Bella to feel like I was pushing her away. "Bella, firstly I would like to apologise for my ungentlemanly behaviour. Secondly-"

"Please don't apologise and if you want to pretend it never happened then just tell me that. I can't possibly handle anymore let me down easy speeches or it's too dangerous speeches." She groaned, dropping her head backwards until it hit the wall. "Ouch."

I stepped closer to her and pulled her into my arms again, enjoying the feel of her hair, soft from being freshly washed, against my neck.

"Bella, I only meant that I do not want you to think I was taking advantage of your inebriated state." I told her. "I am not used to having beautiful young women in a state of undress around me; apparently I need to practise my control in that area."

"You don't have to be perfect you know." She mumbled into my shirt. "Besides I'm not that drunk, I'm still in control of my actions and I can still make my own choices and I am not sorry." She nodded her head defiantly and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"So I see." I replied. "You are however a lot louder than normal."

"Sorry." She replied, quickly lowering her voice.

"Bella, I can't lie and tell you I didn't want to kiss you nor can I tell you I didn't enjoy every moment. I must however point out that whilst again you are allowed your own opinions and choices this is perhaps not the best idea." I told her carefully.

"I'm not asking you to run away with me and condemn me to a life of undead Carlisle." She said wryly, leaning up on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around my neck. "As I recall it was you that kissed me first Dr Cullen."

"So it was." I replied.

"Can't we just...see what happens? After all isn't that supposed to be part of the fun?" she asked.

"Well, someone did tell me recently that I was in need of some fun..." I teased as she leant up to press her lips against mine. "And Edward?"

"Is still a seventeen year old boy who can live with the choices he made." She said confidently, kissing me again. "Now that's settled I think I should have another drink!"

"I think you should make it your last as well." I commented, following her back inside.

"We'll see." She grinned. "I'm pretty sure you need a few more."

"Believe me that would not be wise." I told her. "Unless of cause you want to take turns vomiting in the bathroom tomorrow."

"I thought you didn't get drunk?" she asked suspiciously.

"I was actually referring to the fact that food and drink offers me no substance and whilst small amounts are physically compatible with my body large amounts are not." I explained.

"You know Dr Cullen, sometimes the stuff you know is just plain gross." She laughed.

"And you're telling me you aren't going to be ill tomorrow?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Not yet I'm not." She replied determinedly, I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that.

A few drinks later and I was fairly certain it was time to take Bella home. When I looked over to her and found her kissing her female friend I was certainly certain. I told her to say her goodbyes and then began ushering her to the exit. This time when she stepped outside she practically fell backwards against me. I guided her in the direction of the car park until she started to trip, complaining that her feet hurt. Why women insist on wearing shoes that hurt their feet, cause them to fall over and ruin their posture is still beyond me even after my several centuries of existence. Bella bent over to pull her shoes off and by the time she had strapped and removed one I had had enough.

"Come on Cinderella." I said, swinging her up into my arms and carrying her the rest of the way. "Let's make sure you reach the car in one piece."

"Aren't we a little old to be Cinderella and Prince Charming?" she asked.

"Less of the old, I am only twenty-three after all." I feigned hurt.

"Of course, you've just been twenty-three about three hundred and fifty times!" she laughed.

"Haven't you heard the expression improved with age?" I asked her.

"OK, so tell me Dr. Cullen how does say...raw chicken improve with age?" she grinned.

"Are you comparing me to a chicken?" I chuckled.

"You know what I mean!" she retorted.

"On the subject of age, this whole conversation does just ooze maturity does it not?" I asked. We both laughed then as we reached the car.

Bella POV

I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock on the bedside table; it was nearly eleven already. I sighed and reluctantly got out of bed. Other than feeling a little bit fuzzy in the head I seemed fine, I didn't feel sick at least. I went to open the curtains and winced at the bright light, of all the days to be sunny it had to be this one. I decided against opening the curtains and made my way out to the landing and then the bathroom, unfortunately the bathroom was pretty bright as well. I stripped and got into the shower witch instantly made me feel better and by the time I got out of the shower I felt refreshed. I wrapped a towel tightly around myself and headed back into my room to get dressed before heading downstairs in search of food.

"Good morning." Carlisle greeted me.

"Yeah, just about." I agreed. "What are you doing in here? Not that you're forbidden from your own kitchen but the kitchen is probably the least likely place for you to be."

"I heard you get up so I was waiting to see if you were alright." He replied.

"I'm fine." I smiled. "Now I just need something nice and fattening to eat and I'll be perfect."

"I have to say I'm very surprised. After last night I'm amazed you are even out of bed." He commented, as I put some oil in the frying pan.

"I wasn't that bad." I protested.

"As I recall I had to pry you off of your friend, you two were attracting quite a crowd. I had to carry you to the car with one shoe on. Then when I helped you up the stairs you were most insistent that you were going to sleep in my bed with me and since I don't actually sleep I'm sure I don't need to fill you in any more on that conversation." He replied, without even looking up from the newspaper he was reading.

"Really? Sorry." I said sheepishly. "Although in my defence I could have just felt safer with you around, like a body guard."

"I don't believe that's how you put it." He replied casually. I hung my head in shame. "Needless to say I didn't feel last night was an appropriate time to explore any ideas you may have had." I ignored his mocking tone now as I piled the bacon and eggs on my plate.

"Do you have any syrup?" I asked, then I realised that it was a stupid question. "Scratch that I'll buy some next time I go shopping."

"We could go later if you like, I could carry things." He suggested. I looked at him like he was from another planet.

"That is probably the least intelligent thing you've ever said. It sounded like an Emmett suggestion; man carry stuff, woman spend money." She laughed. He narrowed his eyes at me. "But of course having someone to carry the bags for me would be a big help thank you."

"Better." He murmured, folding the paper and dropping it in the recycling box. "I have to go into the hospital for about an hour or two to finish some paperwork, I would say less but I'd better make it look like it has taken me a remotely human amount of time to do it, then I shall come and collect you so we can go shopping."

"You don't have to tell me what you're doing every second of the day, Carlisle." I smiled, touched all the same. "I'm sure I'll be just fine in this big bad house all by myself for two hours."

"I didn't want you to feel like I was avoiding you." He said, leaning down next to where I sat. "It is only polite to let people you live with know where you are in case there is trouble, especially if there is...some kind of relationship involved, even if it remains undetermined."

"I like that word, undetermined." I commented. "Although you make it sound like I'm about to turn into a controlling wife."

"As entertaining as the image is, you don't seem like the marrying type. Is that because of your parent's divorce or just a generation thing?" he asked.

"Both." I shrugged. "It's not necessarily a no marriage thing it's more a not a big deal thing."

"I shall make a mental note that if I ever endeavour to make you my wife to make it "not a big deal." He grinned, kissing my cheek and heading out the door. "See you in two hours."

"Goodbye dear!" I shouted after him before laughing to myself.


	8. Chapter 8: Temptation

Author's Notes: I'm back again! I doubt any of you read these author's notes but never mind! I hope you're still enjoying it and I hope I can keep you all happy! Another big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for her help and let me know what you guys think! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is just for fan purposes.

Addicted

Temptation

Bella POV

Sure enough Carlisle was home two hours later when he beeped the horn of his car from the driveway. I headed outside and climbed in the passenger side.

"Fun at work?" I asked him.

"Not really, paperwork is not a part of my job I particularly enjoy, just a necessary one." He replied, reversing back out of the driveway.

"I think I want to be a teacher." I said thoughtfully. "Or a writer maybe."

"If you want to be a teacher maybe you should think about going back to school." Carlisle suggested. I took the hint, my life had turned into a mess and I knew it.

"Carlisle...there's a reason for all this you know, not just Edward saying the things he did." I said quietly. He reached over and took my hand in his.

"I was wondering when you were going to get around to telling me." He replied.

"You mean you know?" I asked, slightly hurt that he had known and not said anything.

"No, I don't have a clue but it's obviously something." He replied, shaking his head.

"Victoria came back to Forks." I said quietly. I caught Carlisle's look of alarm. "The wolves took care of it. I was out of town; I missed the whole thing. She came for me, she wanted Edward to suffer the way she did...Charlie was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, he wasn't the only one, his friend Harry Clearwater died as well...because of me." He pulled into the car park for the supermarket and turned to me.

"It wasn't your fault Bella; you could never have known what you were getting into when it started. No one could." He said firmly. "Can you name one person that could have found out what we were and not wanted to know more, besides the Quileute tribe for course."

"Charlie." I whispered. "He knew, at his funeral I spoke to Billy...he was pretty mad. Charlie knew before I even moved to town but apparently he told Billy there was nothing he could do, you seemed like nice enough people. Now I knew why he didn't really like Edward...why he was so cautious..." My voice cracked and I felt a hot tear splash on the leg of my jeans. I squeezed my eyes shut but it was too late. "...he knew the whole time...when she killed him he must have known it was because of me...his own daughter."

Carlisle got out of the car and opened my door to help me out; in fact he practically pried me from my position in the car. I buried my face in him sweater and clutched the material in my fists.

"Deep breaths Bella." He whispered to me, his cold hands running across my back in soothing motions. "I know you must feel awful Bella but try to think of Charlie, think of what he would want for you. Would he have wanted you to end up letting vampires drink your blood in a bar? Or would he have wanted you to do something with your life even if it wasn't something big, to find happiness?"

"I know..." I sobbed. "I just feel so guilty...it should have been me."

"But for whatever reason it wasn't. So now you have to decide what to do with the time you have been given Bella. If you truly believe that it should have been you that day then you owe it to your father to make every day count." He said, lifting my chin to look at him. "You should promise yourself, promise your father; that from now you will endeavour to be happy, for both of you."

"That sounds like a good idea." I sniffed. Carlisle let go of me and we headed into the supermarket, Carlisle retrieved a trolley from the line in front of the entrance.

"You know I'm only one person right?" I asked, eying the trolley wearily.

"Yes, but it needs to look enough for at least the two of us doesn't it?" he asked.

"At least?" I exclaimed. "As in kids? Me?"

"Just a charade Bella." He chuckled, leaning casually on the trolley handle as he pushed it around the shop.

"Yes but we haven't even...you know let alone the fact that you're a...you know what and I'm well...me." I whispered. "I can't even look after myself."

"That's generally why families have two parents, it's called looking after each other, sharing responsibility." He laughed. "Stop looking so panicked Bella, I'm not convincing myself I'm human or anything."

"Sorry." I mumbled, realising I may have over-reacted just a tad, but it was odd to even think about me having children, like I said, I couldn't even look after myself. "Ooo pop tarts!"

"Oh yes Isabella, very nutritious." Carlisle murmured.

"I'm not planning on eating them as a sole dietary plan Doctor." I replied. "I'm sure one box won't kill me."

I have never taken so long doing a simple food shop, nor have I ever had so much fun doing it. Carlisle's sense of humour had my sides hurting by the time we got through the check out. Carlisle paid; he won't let me so I gave up protesting.

"Carlisle it's the principle of you buying me things." I huffed as we headed to the car.

"It would hardly be fair of me to not pay, money is of no consequence to me." He replied. "I have more of it than I would know what to do with and after a while it loses it's appeal."

"Yeah, I can tell by the fancy cars." I grinned. He lifted the shopping into the boot of the car and told me to get in.

"Believe me I could have had a lot worse." He smiled, as we got in the car. "Besides I'm supposed to be a doctor, doctors tend to get paid well."

"Well, if I didn't pass out at the sight of blood then I'd probably give it a go in that case." I laughed.

"You don't do too badly Bella, besides I think you would probably find that you are more affected by your own blood than someone else's." He replied. "Although your slightly clumsy tendencies could cause somewhat of a problem."

"Slightly?" I asked. "I think you're giving me too much credit. I actually hit myself in the face with a cupboard door this morning."

"May I ask how?" he enquired.

"Opening it." I replied.

"Of course." He nodded. "I was wondering what that bruise was." I sat forward and flicked the visor down to look in the mirror before slamming it shut and slumping back in my chair as Carlisle began to laugh.

"That wasn't funny." I sulked.

It had been an unusual few days. Carlisle and I were still getting used to how to act around each other; whilst we had accepted that there was something there; we hadn't exactly agreed what it was or what kind of relationship we had either. Suddenly seeing where things went didn't seem like such a smart thing after all. Sometimes we found it simple enough to act normal, as if nothing had changed; after all there had been some harmless flirting before that night at the club anyway. There had been a couple of moments where we had got caught up as well but Carlisle being the perfect gentleman he was never did more than kiss me, which considering the circumstances I was content with for now. Although I had to admit in my head I wanted a lot more. I grinned to myself and pulled the dish out of the oven and tested it with a knife. Unsure I cut the chicken breast to examine the inside; it was still a little pink so I placed it back in the oven.

"It still seems strange coming home and smelling something cooking." Carlisle's voice called as he entered the kitchen. I jumped and winced as I caught my arm on the edge of the oven door as I closed it. "Oh Bella, I'm sorry." Instantly he was helping me up and looking at my arm.

"It's fine, it's nothing." I shrugged.

"Here, let me get you a cloth." He vanished from my line of sight and re-appeared in a heartbeat pressing a cold, damp cloth against my skin.

"You know you're hand was just as cold." I smiled. "Thanks, but it's fine really."

"I didn't mean to startle you." He said softly, tossing the cloth on the counter and dropping his arms around me.

"I know." I smiled, as he leant down to place a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Dinner smells good dear." He teased. "What are you having?"

"Honey and mustard stuffed chicken with couscous and roasted vegetables." I replied. "In fact it's nearly done about another five minutes."

"Well then you go make yourself comfy in the living room, find something to watch and I'll bring your plate through." He suggested.

"You don't have to do that, you just got in from work." I protested.

"Bella, go." He said firmly, kissing the tip of my nose. "Besides it's not like I'm tired."

"You win." I laughed, heading into the living room.

I turned off the television headed upstairs; Carlisle had already done the dishes before he headed upstairs earlier so I decided to dig out a book and have an early night. I knocked on the door to Carlisle study and waited for him to answer.

"Bella, the door is open." He called.

"I was being polite." I replied. "I was just hoping to borrow a book to read."

"Of course, help yourself." He said, standing; gesturing to the shelves. "What are you looking for?"

"I don't know exactly..." I murmured, running my finger along one shelf. "It never ceases amaze me how many you have..."

"Try this one." He suggested, holding out a book to me. I took it and gasped at the contact.

"Carlisle you're warm."

"Yes, the hot water from the shower warmed my body temperature. It is only temporary though, it'll wear off quite quickly." He explained. I placed the book on the desk and took both of his hands in my own; feeling them warm was so strange to me now.

"Can I..." I left the question hanging as I released his hands and slowly let one of my hands slip slightly underneath his sweater, confirming that he was in fact warm all over. My hand lingered on the solid warmth of his stomach for a moment before I stifled a giggle and pulled back from him. "That's weird."

"It has its advantages." He shrugged, I raised my eyebrow curiously and he sat back down in his chair. "Were we to ever be physically intimate it would be a lot more comfortable for you if I was warm." I couldn't think of any words, let alone intelligent ones so I just nodded slowly. Edward had made it sound like it wouldn't ever be possible...

"I had just assumed that it was impossible." I mumbled, lifting the book off of the desk.

"Vampires were once humans so they are physically compatible yes. It could be very dangerous for the human though for obvious reasons." He explained. "It is not something that generally happens a lot."

"No, I imagine most vampires don't like to get to know their food first." I grinned, then I looked at him more seriously. "So you're saying that we could..."

"If we decided that what we had was a serious relationship and that was where it was leading then I would imagine so." He replied carefully, he reached for my hand and traced it gently with his fingertips. "It all comes down to trust Bella."

"I trust you. I trust you more than I trust me." I whispered.

"Ah, but the question is do I trust myself? He asked. "It would not be a risk I would want to take lightly." I thought on his words for a moment, letting silence fill the small room before I hesitantly asked my next question.

"What about changing me?"

"Is that what you want?" he asked.

"Yes, eventually." I replied truthfully.

"Again, it is not something to be done lightly; I have never turned someone who did have another choice. It is a permanent thing; I would be killing your human body...perhaps even your soul."

"Carlisle we've had this conversation before. You're the closest thing to a saint I know." I told him, he pulled me onto his knee and held me there. His arms were only hung loosely around me but I knew I may as well be trying to move stone if I were to try and escape his embrace. "And if me knowing about you is against your rules then I don't have another choice."

"Bella, Bella what am I going to do with you?" he chuckled. "No day would be complete without you throwing every temptation you could in my path."

"Temptation?"

"Yes Bella, temptation. Temptation to taste your blood, temptation to love you in every way possible." He murmured, pressing his lips against my neck. They were cool again now but not as much as usual. "Tempting to find out exactly how many pieces of metal you have decided to...decorate your body with."

"Not a fan huh?" I laughed at his carefully chosen words.

"It isn't that I dislike them, I suppose it just isn't something that ever made much sense to me, from a medical point of view." He replied. "How long have you had most of them?"

"Um...my ears since I was a kid but the rest maybe six months?"

"Even scars are corrected by the venom so if there is still scar tissue when you change some of them will most likely heal over." He explained. "Unless for course you're planning on waiting a couple of years for them to be completely healed, scar tissue and everything."

"I was thinking more like one year...just enough time for me to be prepared." I leant comfortably back against his chest.

"You know, I have never met anyone so entirely comfortable around our kind before, knowing that I could injure you or perhaps even kill you by accident." He laughed.

"No you couldn't." I said shaking my head. "You're far to sentimental for that dear."


	9. Chapter 9: Undetermined

Author's Notes: Sorry this one's shorter than usual but it seemed like as good a place as any to stop. I'm sure you'd all rather a short chapter than no chapter. I hope you all enjoy! The best bits are yet to come! Big hugs and virtual chocolate brownies to my beta JenJenSon for her help and support!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is just for fan purposes. The lyrics are again from Keith Urban's Once in a lifetime.

Addicted

Undetermined

Carlisle POV

I watched Bella from where I sat at my desk. My study had become less of my study and more like _our_ study. Bella often joined me in here to read and to study. She had decided to brush up on her schoolwork before apply to a college course.

I was of course thrilled that she had decided to try and get her life in order. She seemed to be happier and more relaxed of late as well. I liked to think that the worst was behind us. I never wanted to see her turning up in the emergency room again. I didn't think vampires could die of heart attacks but if they could Bella would most certainly give me one.

"Have you decided what you want to study?" I asked her, without looking up from my page.

"I haven't decided. Keeping my options open but I was pretty good at biology and chemistry, maths stuff like that so I'll probably do that. I had wanted to be a vet when I was younger but now that I'm planning on living off of animals in the future I doubt that'd work out." She replied.

"I could see where that would be a problem, having your patients terrified of you is not the most easy working environment." I replied. "But if you are interested in medicine then I still think you could be a wonderful doctor one day."

"Yeah, when I either don't pass out or want to eat people." She muttered.

"What about teaching? You could teach one or more of the subjects that you enjoy the most; that involves considerably less blood." I suggested.

"Actually...that's not a bad idea." She mused. "If I can get into a college and make it through the first year I might just consider that."

"Are you sure that you would not be more comfortable sat at the desk to do that?" I asked her; surely it was neither constructive nor comfortable to be slouched across the floor to study. I could stand and it wouldn't bother me, Bella however was not so fortunate.

"Perhaps." She smirked up at me. Suddenly I had a terrible feeling that she was no longer thinking of study.

"I am fairly certain I do not want to know." I told her raising my eyebrow. Then curiosity got the better of me. "Go on then."

"Nothing to worry yourself about." She smiled. "Just a passing thought." I would give anything to see her passing thoughts sometimes, although it would potentially be dangerous for my health to do so.

I had become her new pillow at night since she had one night fallen asleep on the couch. She had fallen asleep on me and when I had carried her to bed she had refused to let me leave, attaching herself to my shirt as if her life depended on it. So I had stayed with her all night, and almost every night since then she had insisted that she slept much better with me there. It was sometimes hard to keep my mind from wandering inappropriately when she was wrapped up in my arms for hours.

It was slow torture on some occasions if she was having a practically...pleasant...dream but to see her eyes flutter open in the morning and smile at me was worth every second.

I snapped out of my thoughts and closed my book.

"Would you like some lunch? I'm about done with my paperwork here so if you're hungry I could get you something." I stood and crouched in front of her.

"I am kinda hungry." She sighed, leaning up on her elbows. "But I don't know what I want. I'll come with you...I've read quite enough about the immune system for one day."

"I could test you if you like?" I offered as I helped her up.

"No, I think you have a significant advantage in the biology department." She laughed.

"Being around for three centuries does that to a man, or vampire." I grinned, as we headed downstairs. As always I went down first, just in case she tripped and I had to catch her, although I obviously never told her that.

"You can be both." She shrugged, following me. "So when I decide to go to college you can write all my essays for me?"

"I think you will find that less beneficial to you though." I pointed out, as she began rummaging through the cupboards.

"Well, how much does a person really need to know about Phagocytosis anyway?" she muttered. "I really should have gone shopping again...who'd have thought I'd manage to empty the cupboards in just over two weeks?"

"Then I shall take you out to lunch." I told her decisively.

"You don't eat." She deadpanned.

"Put your coat on Bella." I said, leaving no room for argument.

Bella POV

"This is ridiculous." I told him getting out of the car. He just smiled and took my hand was we walking into the diner. "Wouldn't it have made more sense to go food shopping?"

"We can do that afterwards." He replied, we stopped by the door and he leant down close to me. "You deserve to have at least one normal date Bella." I reached up to kiss him.

"Carlisle in case you haven't noticed...neither you or I could ever pass for normal." I told him, leaning up to kiss him again. This time his arms slid around my back holding me to him for longer.

"Come on." He mumbled against my lips. I sighed in defeat and we entered the diner to take a seat. "You see, I am not forcing a hundred dollar meal on you, I am simply buying you lunch."

"Fine." I replied, sinking into my seat. "I am pretty hungry...and the food does look pretty good."

"Can I get you anything?" the waitress asked, smiling happily as she came to our table.

"Water please; Bella?" Carlisle told her. The waitress reluctantly shifted her gaze from Carlisle to me.

"Cola please." I told her.

"Have you decided what you want to eat or do you need a few minutes?" she asked.

"A few minutes please." Carlisle told her, giving her a beaming smile that seemed to make her lost for words before nodding and heading back to the counter.

"Did you have to do that?" I asked.

"Do what?" he looked up at me innocently.

"That whole, make women melt into puddles on the floor smile." I replied. He laughed then, probably the loudest I'd ever heard him laugh. "I'm not kidding; did you seriously not see that? The poor girl couldn't even talk!"

"My apologies, I was being polite." He chuckled. "I forget the affect we have on humans sometimes. I am rather used to not pretending to be human around you."

"Oh...well...um..." I replied rather dumbly. If he was comfortable being himself around me I just made myself sound pretty stupid and jealous.

"I shall endeavour to tone it down a little, if that would make you happy." He smiled, "What are you having to eat?"

"Um...just the chilli fries I think. It looks really good." I replied, eyeing up the bowl of a customer near us. The waitress came back with our drinks.

"Do you need more time?" she asked sweetly.

"One chilli fries please." I spoke up, drawing her attention away from Carlisle again, not that I could blame her...he was gorgeous.

"One chilli fries." She confirmed, scribbling it down. "With cheese?"

"Please." I nodded.

"And what can I get for you?" she asked, giving Carlisle her brightest smile.

"Fillet steak please, blue." He replied. I looked at him like he was insane, from mars or something. Clearly he had gone crazy.

"Any sides?"

"No, thank you." He said, politely offering her a small smile this time.

"Better?" he asked me, when the waitress had gone.

"If you mean is she still able to function then yes." I grinned. "I'm not mad."

"I never said you were." He murmured.

"In fact I'd be surprised if all the waitresses aren't talking about you right now." I grinned.

"Bella, really." He hushed me. "Do I detect a hint of jealousy because I assure you there is no need, you have sole focus of my attentions."

"It's not jealous, I don't blame them, come on you're gorgeous." I told him. For a moment he looked a bit embarrassed. "You know you are, and that's fine...as long as they don't actually start drooling on you of course."

"Bella, you do not have to if you do not feel comfortable doing so but I would like to talk about us if that's alright?" he said.

"Um, what exactly about us?" I asked nervously, this is where he changed his mind, told me everything was a mistake. I wouldn't blame him, neither of us planned this.

_Everybody's looking for what we've found  
Some wait their whole lives and it never comes around  
So don't hold back now,  
Just let go of all you've ever known  
And put your hand in mine_

"This "undetermined" situation." He replied, taking my hand. I dared to look at him in the eye; I could instantly feel the attraction again. Something in his eyes lit fires inside me that nothing but he himself could ease...or maybe a very very cold shower. Then the moment was broken as the food arrived. This time the waitress didn't hover, and she left with a very unpleasant look pointed in my direction.

"You know how I said women falling over you didn't bother me?" I asked him, he nodded. "It bothers me if they look at me like they wish they had a gun in their hand." He laughed at that and lifted his knife and fork. "You are actually going to eat that aren't you?"

"Of course." He replied. "Probably one of the only things a vampire can eat, not that I would be able to eat a large amount of it. It actually tastes good to us, for those who feed from animals of course, although it offers very little in the way of nutrition for our bodies."

"You can eat steak?" I asked again. As if to prove it he lifted a piece on his fork, placed it in his mouth, slowly chewed and swallowed.

"Eat." He told me, pointing his fork to my lunch. Once I started eating he continued talking. "Bella, forgive me if I'm wrong but I've enjoyed spending time with you immensely and I think you have also. In fact you're one of the most interesting people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know. I don't wish to put any pressure on you of course I am simply sharing my feelings on the subject, I care about you very much Bella and if you would allow me the opportunity would like to try and bring you every happiness."

"I think I just heard that wrong could you repeat that?" I whispered.

"Do you find it so incredibly hard to believe?" he asked, smiling at me softly.

"Yes, actually...I thought you were going to say that this was all a bad idea." I admitted quietly.

_It's a long shot, baby, I know it's true,  
But if anyone can make it, I'm betting on me and you_

"Never." He said firmly. "Bella you have brightened my entire existence, I have had more fun with you than I have had in a very long time. You have always been exceptional Bella, you see me and my entire family, all of my kind for who they are not what they are. With a heart as big as yours it is very hard not to love you."

I dropped my fork unceremoniously onto my plate with a clatter. Now I knew I was hearing things. I glanced at Carlisle in surprise; I could tell from his expression he was slightly embarrassed himself...as if he hadn't meant to say it. Did that mean he didn't mean it? Or did that mean he didn't want me to know? Did I love him? I closed my eyes and thought about him, memories of our time together filled my mind and a warm feeling filled my stomach, a goofy smile spread on my face...yes...I loved him.

"You love me?" I croaked out. I had to know, I would never have the guts to tell him how I felt unless I knew.

"Yes." He replied, he still looked somewhat surprised...perhaps he like me hadn't realised it until now. "How could I not?"

"I love you." I blurted back. We both fell silent...now what?

_Don't fear it now; we're going all the way  
Where the sun is shining on a brand new day  
It's a long way down, and it's a leap of faith  
But I'm never giving up, 'cause I know we got a once in a lifetime love_


	10. Chapter 10: Confusion

Author's Notes: Sorry this one's shorter than usual but it seemed like as good a place as any to stop. I'm sure you'd all rather a short chapter than no chapter. I hope you all enjoy! The best bits are yet to come! Big hugs and virtual chocolate brownies to my beta JenJenSon for her help and support!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is just for fan purposes. The lyrics are again from Keith Urban's Once in a lifetime.

Addicted

Confusion

"You love me?" I croaked out. I had to know, I would never have the guts to tell him how I felt unless I knew.

"Yes." He replied, he still looked somewhat surprised...perhaps he like me hadn't realised it until now. "How could I not?"

"I love you." I blurted back. We both fell silent...now what?

"Breathe Bella." Carlisle prompted quietly; I let out a breath. I hadn't even been aware I was holding it until now. "You should finish your lunch." I looked at him with wide eyes, for a few minutes he had been talking to me so deeply, his eyes showing every emotion he felt and now he was completely calm and composed. Why couldn't I do that instead of sitting here trying to remember how exactly to lift a fork?

Eventually though I did remember how to use eating utensils and managed to finish my lunch. Carlisle paid the bill and then we left. The fresh air relaxed me and I felt like I could breathe again, after all nothing had changed; Carlisle and I were already living together, we already spent time together, he held me most nights while I slept and we enjoyed teasing each other...would any of that change just because of three tiny words?

At some point over the past couple of months that Carlisle had walked back into my life I had fallen for him, I couldn't even pinpoint when it was exactly I just knew that he was important to me. It had started with the same admiration I had for him and his endless compassion when I had known him in Forks, followed by the sparks of attraction that had nothing to do with his vampire lures, then we got to know each other...he knew me better than anyone else and I loved learning everything I could about him also.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Carlisle's voice rang smoothly in my ear. I bit my lip for a moment before responding.

"I was just thinking that I hope this doesn't change anything." I replied. He chuckled softly and placed his hands on my waist, manoeuvring me backwards until my back rested against the car.

"I hope any changes will only be for the better." He murmured, leaning in close to press his forehead to mine. "My only wish was for you to know that I do not view this as simply a passing attraction, you are and will always be important to me Bella."

I tried to think of something to say but in the length of time I took me to find the right words, Carlisle had already closed the gap between us and I had forgotten them. Everything he did to me pressed my buttons; he was always confident but not aggressive, provocative but not confrontational, passionate but calm at the same time. Maybe in three centuries time I could do the same.

As he pulled his lips away from mine, he slid his arms tight around me, pulling me into him. He nuzzled his face in my hair and placed a kiss on the crown of my head. I moved my arms around his waist and hugged him back, as tightly as I could.

"I don't know what I did to deserve such a gift as you, but I'm very grateful." He mumbled in my hair.

"Carlisle, you're practically a saint. I think you're entitled to whoever you want and more." I grinned, I opened my eyes from my snug spot with my cheek pressed against his chest and noticed a book store a few shops down. "I know this is changing the subject but would you mind if we went and checked out that bookstore? I'm feeling the urge to build a library of my own."

"Of course." He chuckled, releasing me and wrapping one arm comfortably around my back as we left the car and headed towards the bookstore.

"Seriously?" a voice chimed from what seemed like nowhere. "A book store? That's not romantic! You two are just terrible!" I knew that voice.

"Not everyone is quite as fond of shoes as you Ali." Another voice chided as Jasper walked out in front of us. Alice promptly skipped to his side.

"Alice?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"Alice, as I'm sure you are already aware Bella has lots of reading to do if she wants to get herself back into her studies." Carlisle said.

"Actually, I wasn't going to get a single study guide." I grinned sheepishly. "I fancied a couple of good thick books...something with knights, magic or crazy stuff like that and maybe one or two trashy romance novels."

"Trashy romance?" Jasper enquired.

"Girl stuff, you wouldn't understand." Alice said dismissively. "But seriously Carlisle you're supposed to be sweeping her off of her feet by now not taking her round a book shop."

"I like books." I said defensively. "Better than clothes any day."

"Take it back!" Alice gasped in horror.

"I don't know I think she's onto somethin' don't you Carlisle?" Jasper smirked. "I wouldn't mind if you traded all your clothes for trashy romance books and I mean _all_ of your clothes."

"I could definitely see an advantage to it." Carlisle agreed.

"Sure, I'll sit and read in the nude when you do." I muttered, not quite believing how far the conversation had strayed.

"Why do all the people I love want to torture me?" Alice pouted. A strange look crossed her face and I felt a little self-conscious, I glanced at Carlisle and Jasper enquiringly before looking back to Alice.

"You're not really upset about the clothes are you?" I asked finally.

"No, it's nothing." She replied quietly.

"She's feeling a little neglected...I think she thought you'd be happier to see her." Jasper said. Alice shot a sideways glare at him.

"I am happy to see you Alice, really." I said. I tried to keep it from sounding like there was a "but" that followed that sentence. In my head there was a "but", a big one. She was supposed to have been my friend...she left without a goodbye, she never made contact and even though she can see the future...she didn't see what happened to Charlie.

"But?" Alice asked quietly.

"I am happy to see you no but." I replied, reaching out to hug her. I could have a talk with her about everything some other time; today wasn't the day to do it. I let go of Alice and moved to hug Jasper who looked somewhat surprised.

"Thanks darlin'." He whispered. I frowned slightly; did he think I was scared of him?

"I did miss _all_ of you you know." I told him, poking him on the nose childishly. "Every, last one." I flicked his nose each time for emphasis before kissing his cheek and then hugging Alice again, tighter this time. Then I heard a growl.

All three of us turned to look at Carlisle how looked suitably embarrassed with himself. Jasper laughed, Alice beamed her head off and I just kept looking at the three of them in confusion. Did I miss a huge something here because I could have sworn Carlisle just growled...Carlisle! Carlisle would _never_ growl. Still no one said anything.

"Don't look so worried Bella, he's not going to bite." Jasper laughed. Carlisle snaked his arm out and tugged me to him until I stood in my original position against his side with his arm around me.

"What the hell did I miss here?" I asked.

"Besides my complete un-gentlemanly behaviour you mean?" Carlisle enquired. "My apologies Jasper."

"Jasper?" I asked, getting more perplexed by the second. "Can someone please fill the human in on what exactly I've missed here?"

"Carlisle was just a little...protective." Jasper murmured.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me, Jasper." I told him quickly, I felt bad; surely Carlisle wouldn't have thought Jasper would hurt me.

"No, but it's not hurting you that bothered him. Our kind can be rather possessive over what they consider theirs." He clarified.

"What? Carlisle?" I glanced up at him. "As in me and Jasper? Seriously? Carlisle gross!"

"Thanks Bella." Jasper muttered sarcastically.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "I didn't mean it like that...I just never looked at you that way."

"Perhaps I should explain this to you later without an audience?" Carlisle suggested. "I feel rather ashamed of my behaviour as it is, I do not need any extra witnesses."

"Right well, Bella the reason we are here is firstly because I missed you, second to make sure you two were getting along and thirdly because tomorrow I want to take you out for a girly day." Alice said changing the subject. I was about to protest but she hadn't finished. "Minimal shopping I promise."

"Sure." I agreed.

"Then I will see you tomorrow morning!" she beamed. "Bye Bella! Bye Carlisle!"

"See ya." Jasper nodded, as the two headed down the street hand in hand. I watched them leave, Alice skipped up onto her tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss on Jasper's lips, I could see him turn and smile down at her. Something about those two...I felt almost like I was invading a private moment whenever they were around...kind of like Rosalie and Emmett.

I had never gotten along with Rosalie of course but I had with Emmett, but I always noticed that the moment they were in the same room it was like gravity shifted. They were like two halves of a whole rather than two separate people...

"Are you quite alright Bella?" Carlisle's voice made me jump.

"I'm fine." I brushed off, leaning into his side as we continued towards the bookstore that had been our original destination.

I picked out a few books and Carlisle found a few that he wanted also before heading back to the car. In fact it was about an hour later by the time we got back to the car since we lost track of time in the bookstore.

Once back in the car I found the nerve to ask what I'd been just itching to ask ever since Alice and Jasper left.

"So...did you want to explain exactly why you felt the need to growl at Jasper?" I grinned. He looked at me seriously and my grin slowly slipped from my face, OK so not a fun conversation then.

"Bella, when vampires find a mate they can have overprotective tendencies. It brings out a slightly more animalistic side in us that we try to repress." He started. "I pride myself in being in control, the desire to have you as my mate is causing more basic instincts take a front seat once in a while. It is not something I am proud of."

"Why?" I asked.

"Firstly, because I do not believe I should be thinking of you as my property, secondly because it is not very gentlemanly, third it could be dangerous for you if I lose control. Lastly, I would like to think that after three and a half centuries I would not be thinking as if I was little more than a teenage boy." He replied.

"Carlisle, you are being ridiculous." I replied. "If this is part of your nature you shouldn't be ashamed of it. Besides, whilst I am not property exactly...I do _belong_ to you and with you."

"I am glad you feel that way." He replied, squeezing my hand.

Carlisle POV

I still had barely wrapped my head around it; God only knows how she would come to accept it. I was forming a bond with Bella, a bond as my mate without actively trying to do so. This could only possibly mean one thing; Bella _was_ my mate. Bella was it, the only one in this world who was perfect for me.

When a vampire finds his mate he will never love again, he could take other mates as lovers but he would never love them in mind, heart and soul, only physically. It was surprising though that I would find my mate in a human at my age. Almost certainly a female will always be younger than her mate, almost like she was made for her mate; however I was long past my third century and Bella had barely reached two decades.

This interesting suspicion of mine was not something I could share with her, not yet anyway. I would obviously have to tell her eventually but I do not want her to feel as if she has no choice. I want her to love me of her own accord, want to be with me of her own free will. Whilst she told me that I have her love, it is still too early to make her feel like her choice is gone. She will always have a choice; if she doesn't want me as her mate then all she has to do is remain human. As long as she remains human she can always fall in love again should she not chose me.

I would have to try very hard though to minimise my more base instincts that told me to take her as I wished, love her in every way, taste her in every way...make her mine forever. I had to tell myself that I was in control; I didn't need to act like this.

"Carlisle? When vampires and other vampires mate is it always as...perfect as Alice and Jasper?" Bella asked quietly.

"No." I replied simply, offering no further explanation. Alice and Jasper were each other's perfect match, they moved as one not two. Rosalie and Emmett were the same, I had had my doubts when she brought him to me as a human to change, doubts that her feelings couldn't possibly be as strong as she said. Now I knew I was wrong.


	11. Chapter 11: Run

Author's Notes: another one, I'm sure you're all going to hate me! I know this one's rushed but I didn't want to ruin the pace by filling it with loads of descriptions when it's supposed to be a fast paced event. Special thanks to JenJenSon as always for her help x

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters and make no profits from writing this.

I'm Just Addicted

Run

I smiled at the receptionist nervously as I picked up my application pack at the front desk. This was it, I was going to apply to college and finally get my life back on track. Carlisle had been so encouraging, but still allowed me to make my own choices. It was amazing. I had been shopping with Alice last week and I finally felt like I would be able to get the family I always wanted back...even if that took a little while.

The whole family was in pieces; Alice told me that Esme had met her soul mate, a newborn called Kale. He had been turned when trying to fight off a vampire that had found his little sister in the trees at the bottom of the garden. It had only been by chance he had even come over, he was twenty-five and lived away from home then, his fifteen year old sister, the youngest of the family didn't exactly need a baby sitter to be home alone. Emmett and Rosalie had actually been the ones to find them and destroyed the other vampire and taken Kale and Rina to Carlisle and the rest of the family. Esme couldn't help it, she loved him; it was destiny...unavoidable so to avoid hurting Carlisle anymore she left with them. Carlisle insisted that it wasn't necessary, that he understood, but they went anyway.

So Esme had left, Edward was off sulking somewhere, Rosalie and Emmett went off on another honeymoon and eventually that left Alice, Jasper and Carlisle. So Carlisle decided to leave them and come here...alone. It was quite sad really; such a big happy family broken completely. Hopefully time would rectify that situation.

I sighed and headed down the street to the coffee shop. I sat down to read through my application pack while enjoying a coffee in the warm. Carlisle wouldn't finish work for another couple of hours so I had no need to rush.

By the time I rose to leave the sun had just started to get low in the sky and my neck and back were stiff from being in one position...I shouldn't have gotten so carried away. I headed back the way I had come to the bus stop.

"Well, well," a voice chimed. "Bella, Bella...what a lovely surprise." I spun around and saw no one, in front of me no one...

"We've missed you." Another voice purred.

"This isn't funny." I stammered.

"Now Bella, you never looked so scared the last time you saw me." Damien sneered appearing in front of me.

"You smell so much more appetising when I can smell you fear." Sebastian agreed.

A snarl and a flash and then I was thrown backwards. I winced and looked around me, I saw Carlisle's blonde hair. Damien was missing an arm...I tried to focus but my head ached every time I lifted it from the ground...everything was so out of focus...

"Carlisle..." I mumbled and then everything went black.

"I have to go she's coming round." I heard Carlisle's voice. I shot my eyes open and blinked a few times to clear my vision. I was home. The lights were dim and I was grateful because my head felt like I'd been hit by an oncoming train. "Bella, can you hear me?"

"What happened?" I groaned.

"We have to go Bella, we have to leave right now." He told me.

"W-what?" I asked, blinking again trying to figure out if I'd missed something he'd said or if he hadn't actually explained yet.

"Bella, the vampires you were a donor for are a very large coven, if we do not go now I cannot fight them all." He said. "We have to go, Alice and Jasper are waiting for us about an hour away, we're going to have to lay low for a while."

"Alright, how long?" I asked.

"I think it best if we assume we will not be coming back for a considerable amount of time, I've packed our clothes and some of my own belongings, I just need you to pack any personal items you do not wish to leave behind. Anything else we can buy elsewhere." He said.

I nodded and stood with his help. He quickly checked over my bump one last time before allowing me to pack my things. Once again I had managed to put the Cullen's in danger...well at least one of them anyway. How was it that I attracted trouble like this?

Carlisle POV

Bella remained quiet throughout the car journey. I knew she was still trying to process what was happening. I didn't want to worry her and tell her the whole of it. One of the vampires had gotten away, the other I had managed to burn. Alice had called me as I had arrived home with Bella. She had had the most awful vision.

A huge coven of vampires showed up at the house, Bella and I both died.

Alice was hysterical, she had tried so many different visions and nothing had worked. The family turning up to help wouldn't even equal the numbers. Even turned Bella didn't help. So we ran.

Alice had said that the only solution she could find so far was to run, hide and change our identities until we left the country. The head of the coven that ran the club Bella used to visit was widely known for his reputation, if word got out that one of his coven members was killed and the culprit was an animal drinker and not punished it would reflect badly on him so he would try to hunt us down. We think that once we have left the country it won't be long before we can come back as long as we don't move close to them, stay far away. I didn't care. I would travel anywhere to keep Bella safe.

"Bella, we're here." I told her quietly.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Don't be." I told her firmly, helping her out of the car. "I would do anything for you." Alice and Jasper met us inside the hotel. Jasper was able to keep us all a little calmer.

"You'll be fine, as long as we stick to the plan everyone will be fine." She said confidently. "Bella you're first, we're going to dye your hair. Jasper is going to take care of a new passport any preferences?"

"What?" Bella asked, looking startled and like she'd not understood any of what Alice just said.

"It's only temporary Bella." I told her softly. "Just to get us away from here safely with no trace, wait for everything to cool down and then we can go wherever you want...except back to the house of course."

"Oh...where are we going?" she asked quietly.

"England." I replied.

"Bella you need to choose a new name, Jasper needs to leave to get them while we're sorting out yours and Carlisle's hair." Alice said, taking my arm and leading me to a chair.

"You're dying your hair?" she asked me sadly.

"Yes, temporarily." I nodded. "I find my hair does tend to stand out."

"Yes." She replied quietly. "Um...well Carlisle can go choose names with Jasper I don't really mind if I still get to be me in private...as long as it's not something like Agnus." Alice giggled at this but said nothing as she started to brush my hair. "What colour are you dying my hair Alice?"

"Nothing drastic Bella, just a dark blonde light brown colour." She replied dismissively.

I left them to it and headed out to the main room to find Jasper. I had already chosen my name so I wrote it down and then it only took me a moment to write down a name for Bella. I was certain she would like it.

Jasper stuck his head around the door to tell Alice he was leaving.

"You've got the edited photos?" she asked.

"Of course." He nodded.

Bella POV

It was...different. I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. My hair was now a very light brown colour as Alice had said it would be, she had straightened it and done my make-up for me. I looked older. She had given me some clothes to put on also, I was fairly certain that they weren't a necessary disguise but instead a chance to play Bella Barbie but I didn't argue. The outfit consisted of a tight black pencil skirt with flat black shoes and an off the shoulder smart grey sweater.

"You know...I actually feel very suspicious dressing up like this." I mumbled.

"But you look like a sophisticated, married business woman." Alice grinned.

"Well, I'm not married or a business woman and I'm certainly not sophisticated." I replied.

"You should see Carlisle. You'll have a heart attack!" she giggled.

"What have you done to him?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer to that.

"I'm still in one piece I can assure you." Carlisle voice replied for her as he stepped into the room. I looked...and continued looking and continued looking. Was that Carlisle? His hair...even his eyes...he looked so different.

"Bella!" Alice called to me. I jumped and looked at her feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Sorry, I was just trying to figure out if it's still him." I said quickly.

"Still me, just different." He replied. His hair was now dark brown, his eyes also brown so he must be wearing contacts...his clothes...oh god...

"Thanks for sharing Bella." Jasper's drawl rung out as he too entered the room.

"Sorry." I mumbled, feeling the heat creep up my neck. Carlisle wore black trousers, a white shirt with the top few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up and in his hand he clutched a black leather jacket.

"Sure you don't want to be married to that?" Alice murmured in my ear, but I knew it was loud enough for everyone else to hear too.

"Al-ice." I whined embarrassed.

"The car's outside ready, I moved the bags over for you." Jasper told us. "Here." He handed Carlisle an envelope, which I assumed held the passports. Carlisle opened it and passed me mine. I looked at the cover and frowned slightly.

"I don't think I'm going to pass for British...don't you think the accent is a giveaway and seriously I can't fake one." I told them.

"And that is why it says Mrs." Jasper replied.

"I can do British; after all I was born in London." Carlisle explained, he smiled reassuringly and held out his hand. "All you have to do is agree to be my wife." In his fingers he held up a pair of rings, an engagement ring and a wedding ring.

"Isn't this going a bit far for a disguise?" I asked. Carlisle pretended to look hurt as he took my hand and slid both rings onto my finger.

"I had some spare rings in my jewellery box so why not?" Alice shrugged. "Better safe than sorry."

"I guess." I replied, narrowing my eyes at Alice suspiciously.

"Never mind that, come here." Alice said, pulling me into a slightly too tight hug. "Be careful, stay in touch."

"I will." I replied, as she let go.

"Bella I love you." She said, hugging me again. "Trust me you'll be alright." She hugged Carlisle too and then we headed to the door.

"Look after her Carlisle, I mean it." Alice told him. I hugged Jasper and we said our thanks before climbing into not Carlisle's usual car but instead a small Honda.

"Whose car is this?" I asked.

"Alice's." He replied. I looked over the small car. It was a new model Honda Fit Sport. It wasn't ridiculously flashy like I would have expected but it suited her. "Don't look so surprised it's only one of her cars the others are more...ostentatious."

We drove a short way in silence before the tension got to me. I flicked open my passport and looked at my new picture, then my new name.

"Elizabeth Peyton?" I enquired; he said nothing. "What's your name?"

"William Peyton." He replied. "William was my father's name; Peyton was a friend's last name back when I was human."

"Oh." I nodded. "So why Elizabeth?"

"You tell me." He replied.

"Pride and Prejudice?" I guessed.

"You are a lot like Elizabeth Bennett yourself. It seemed appropriate." He smiled, pulling onto the freeway.

"She was a lot braver than me and far less insane." I sighed, looking out the window. It was dark now and all of the car's lights flew by in streams of whites and reds. I sighed...so much for college and getting my life on track. Things had seemed so perfect twelve hours ago...

"I don't recall Elizabeth Bennett having to deal with vampires." Carlisle said wryly. "Believe me Bella, you're doing just fine."

"So does that mean you're going to call me Lizzie from now on?" I asked.

"No, only when there are people around." He replied. "This is just a precaution Bella, probably a completely unnecessary one. Once we are in England we should be safe to just be ourselves if we want. This coven has grown so large that the Volturi hesitate to take any actions against them whilst they aren't causing any threat that reveals our existence. They fear that although they would most likely be able to win should a confrontation arise they would probably lose members of the guard; they would rather not do that. Still no matter how large this cover I am certain that they would not bother coming such a distance just for us."

"That's alright then. I don't think I could get used to calling you William." I yawned, leaning back into the seat. "Don't mind the clothes though."


	12. Chapter 12: Control

Author's Notes: OK, sorry it took a few days and sorry it's a short one but since it had been a few days I figured better short than none! And I'm sure you're all going to bitch slap me for this one! A big thank you to my beta JenJenSon for her help to make sense of my crazy ramblings lol. A big thanks also to every one of you who reviewed! I love reviews! That's the main reason that this story which was originally a half abandoned idea suddenly got a new lease of life; because everyone seemed to like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters and make no profits from writing this.

I'm Just Addicted

Control

Was it wrong that all I wanted to do was jump him? Under the circumstances I assumed it probably was...so I took the opportunity to sleep on the plane since it would be a six-hour flight at least. It would be around six in the morning England time when we arrived at Heathrow airport, we would then be getting a taxi to the house we would be staying at in, in the south of England in a small place called Bramley, Hampshire. I was certain Carlisle would rather drive but there wasn't really anywhere for him to rent or buy a car at six in the morning.

"Bella" Carlisle called. I groaned and snuggled tighter into his side. I was quite happy where I was and I wasn't planning on moving. "Bella, we need to buckle up now." I heard him but was having trouble forcing my body to co-operate with my brain, and then felt him move to reach around me and click the seatbelt around me. "Do you want me to carry you off of this plane or are you going to wake up?"

The plane started to descend which woke me up pretty quickly. It was an awful stirring feeling in my stomach. Carlisle chuckled at my startled expression and brushed my hair from my eyes. As my eyes focused on him it took me a moment to remember why he had dark hair and I had light hair...but we should be safe now so there would probably be no harm in us changing our appearances back to normal. Not that I minded Carlisle's new look, he was the sexiest thing I had ever seen but...it just wasn't as...Carlisle. That didn't even make any sense. His light hair suited his gentle, calm manner that he normally held. In the months that we had been spending time together he had for the most part still been very much the Carlisle I had always known although perhaps he acted a little freer, younger without a family to watch over...although I have no doubt he didn't need to watch over them it was his natural instinct to do so. The Carlisle that had begun to emerge over the past few days was less and less like himself, more like a vampire...something I had never truly seen in Carlisle before because he acted human so well. I can't say I didn't like this side of him too of course. Would it be greedy to like him both ways?

"Are you alright Bella?" Carlisle asked me.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Just not the most pleasant feeling for us humans." I replied.

"We're nearly on the ground." He told me, glancing out of the window. He looked so young and so gorgeous... I realised he had said something else but I hadn't heard him...I was too busy staring at him. "...will be first class."

"I'm sorry what?" I asked blinking quickly.

"No my apologies, I should have realised you'd still be tired." He said, taking my hand. "I said, we might want to get unstrapped and grab the hand luggage as some of the first people off of the plane will be first class."

"Right." I nodded, undoing my seatbelt and slowly standing. I moved out of the way so that Carlisle could grab the bag and then we took our seats again and waited until we were instructed to leave the plane.

Carlisle sat in the back of the cab with me on the way to the house; it was strange being able to cuddle up to him in the car. He was always driving so I had never been able to be this close to him before. Carlisle also seemed pretty reluctant to be very far away from me. I wondered if the danger was actually worse than he told me it was but I had to trust that Carlisle would tell me anything I needed to know.

I opened my eyes at the feeling of movement. God my head hurt...I had really taken a knock to the head last night.

"Where are we?" I asked groggily, looking around us. We were in a large living room with high ceilings. The walls were covered in a patterned cream wallpaper, there was a large open fireplace against one wall and the furnishings looked like they were ancient, although well cared for.

"Home, at least for now." He replied, sitting down on the couch with me still in his arms.

"What happens now?" I asked, lifting my arms to wrap around his neck.

"We stay here for a little while, think of it as a holiday and Alice will let us know when it is safe to return, or we could just stay here indefinitely." He replied. "Did you want a tour of the house?"

"Perhaps in a little while." I practically whispered, leaning up to kiss him. I felt him smile against my lips before manoeuvring me to straddle his lap, my skirt riding up as he did so. His hand slid under my shirt and caressed my back, I shivered a little but it wasn't from the cold of his hands. He pressed me close to him, his mouth capturing mine again, gently demanding me to respond. I let myself get lost; kissing him back with every bit of feeling he gave me. His kisses became more erratic as his hands roamed my skin under my sweater.

"Bella, you should probably get some more sleep, last night can't have been easy for you." He said softly against my lips, but it didn't sound like he meant them. I hesitated a moment, was this him giving me a chance to stop, calm down...wait...was the infamous control of Carlisle Cullen finally at breaking point?

"I'm not going to bed without you." I croaked.

Carlisle POV

The journey here had been straightforward; we had encountered no problems and were safely at the house. Bella had had such a long night, but had at least managed to sleep on the plane and in the taxi. I wanted her to sleep more but I could barely stand to be away from her. It was completely irrational and I was ashamed of myself for it but I couldn't stop the urge to be with her. It was instinct; it was necessity. I couldn't leave her side until she was mine in every way and the bond was complete; even then I would always want to be near her if I felt that she needed protection. The bond would never truly be complete of course while she was still human.

The irony wasn't lost on me, I had wanted to help Bella who had become addicted to finding ways to take away her pain the most dangerous method of which had landed her firstly in the hospital and secondly in England, hiding from the very vampires who had been "helping" her. Now I was the one with an addiction, only my addiction was Isabella Swan.

I didn't want her first time to be like this. I wanted it to be special for her just like all young women wanted it to be. Unfortunately especially in my line of work the truth was very few women ever had the sex life they wanted and men, especially young men often seemed to lack the patience to please them. I needed to regain my control.

Bella shift on my lap, tearing the split at the back of her skirt a little as she did so and my mission to regain control took another knock. She seemed to hesitate a moment, our faces only millimetres apart before pressing her soft lips against mine. I kissed her back, placing my hands on her hips and pulling her hard against me, groaning at the friction, whilst she let out a startled gasp as her skirt tore further.

"Bella," I said, my low tone indicating the warning I was giving her. "My control is far from perfect; I suggest you go to bed while I am still willing to allow it."

"I was wondering how long that was going to take." She grinned, kissing me softly. I practically growled as she moved her hips over mine and kissed her hard. I reached for the remaining fabric of her skirt and tore it the rest of the way, pulling it from her body. I flipped her onto her back on the couch and leant over her, my hand enjoying every inch of the soft, warm skin of her thigh on the way up. I gently stroked her over her underwear drawing out small whimpers before continuing upwards lifting her top on the way.

I felt her small hands tugging at the buttons of my shirt hurriedly. I reminded myself to slow down, leaning down over her to kiss her again. That was until she frowned against my lips, which momentarily confused me before she literally forced my shirt open leaving the remaining three buttons to fall to the floor...that had my full attention. I gathered her into my arms and lifted her, her legs wrapping tightly around my waist as I stood and carried her from the room. I wanted her upstairs, right now.

I heard a noise to my right and snapped my head to the front door as sure enough it opened and a small figure entered.

"Oh dear Lord!" she exclaimed, "You must be Master Peyton." Bella looked horrified; the woman appeared to have recovered herself already at which I was pretty impressed. I lowered Bella to her feet and removed my shirt to cover her modesty somewhat. She just looked up at me gratefully.

"I hope you will accept my sincere apologies for that." I told the woman smiling brightly at her. "My name is William and this is my wife Lizzie."

"No apology needed, I wasn't expecting you to arrive until later...still I should have knocked." She replied. "I'm Mrs Giles the housekeeper; I got your call yesterday that you required the house preparing. I'm sorry to say that it isn't ready yet due to the late hour of your call...the time difference you understand but that's why I'm here now."

"I am sure you will understand if we excuse ourselves until we are in a better state of dress." I told her sincerely.

"Of course." She chuckled. "Take your time; ah...I remember what it was like to be a newly-wed bride...some time ago now mind you..." She wandered off towards the kitchen still talking to herself.

"Oh my god...that was so embarrassing I just want to die." Bella groaned. I chuckled at her face and lifted her smoothly into my arms and carried her upstairs. I placed her in the master bedroom before heading down to retrieve the bags and returning to her.

"Well, since we can safely say that my shirt was not the only thing ruined back there how about we get ourselves dressed, get you some breakfast and then we can go shopping." I told Bella, crossing the room to her still stood in only her bra and underwear with my shirt on over the top, hands buried under the sleeves and the shirt still undone. I could get very used to seeing her in my shirts; I would allow her to ruin many more if she would wear them like that around the house from now on.

"Yeah, sorry about that." She said shyly, pulling the shirt around her. I realised that since the house had not been lived in for some time she was probably cold.

"Bella, believe me it was not unwelcome at the time." I told her, pulling her to me. She smiled up at me shyly and then burst out laughing.

"I can't believe that just happened." She grinned. "You'd better put some clothes on yourself before I change my mind and don't let you."

"Is that a threat Isabella?" I murmured, pressing her body against mine, enjoying the warmth she radiated. She stopped breathing for a moment, her gaze hovering on my lips as I leaned in closer to her. I smiled at her and placed a kiss on her nose. "Your clothes are in the case on the bed, of course since we were not able to bring as much as will be necessary we will buy you whatever you want later so we had better get started. I have a surprise for you later."

"What kind of surprise?" she asked suspiciously.

"I am certain that it is one you will enjoy." I chuckled.


	13. Chapter 13: Surprise

Author's Notes: OK, sorry it took a few days and sorry it's a short one but since it had been a few days I figured better short than none! And I'm sure you're all going to bitch slap me for this one! A big thank you to my beta JenJenSon for her help to make sense of my crazy ramblings lol. A big thanks also to every one of you who reviewed! I love reviews! That's the main reason that this story which was originally a half abandoned idea suddenly got a new lease of life; because everyone seemed to like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters and make no profits from writing this.

I'm Just Addicted

Surprise

I glanced in the mirror, even in my normal jeans and shirt I still looked different with my dark blonde hair.

"Are you ready?" Carlisle called. I spun on my heel and crashed straight into him.

"Sorry, yes. I'm ready." I replied, taking in his jeans and t-shirt with the leather jacket from yesterday on. "Wow...you look...like you're my age..." He looked like a sex god and expected me to go out shopping? Right now I wasn't even sure I could form a complete sentence!

"Is that a problem?" he chuckled.

"Um...no...just you know different." I stammered.

"Then let us go." He said, turning towards the door. "It is only a twenty minute drive to town."

"Twenty minutes by your standards or mine?" I smirked, following him out the door. He waited at the top of the stairs for me and took my arm to escort me down.

"Bye Harriet!" I shouted to the housekeeper dusting the living room as we headed out of the front door. It turned out that she was a very good-humoured and a lovely woman, she was very maternal...I had warmed to her straight away. "Um...how exactly are we going to get to town?"

"As long as it still starts, I have a car in the garage." He replied, leading the way.

"Carlisle...have you lived here before?" I asked, suddenly twigging that he knew his way around and he already had a car here.

"Yes, most of the family has lived here before. I brought the property forty seven years ago and we've used it a couple of times since then." He replied, opening the garage doors. Inside sat a charcoal grey sports car with dark windows, it had to be at least ten years old if not maybe even twenty.

"Great...a Porsche, that's not conspicuous at all." I murmured.

"Bella, we are in no danger here. We should be absolutely fine, there is no reason to hide." He reassured me, climbing into the car. After a few turns of the ignition the car started, but it didn't sound happy about it.

"How long has this car been sat here for?" I asked, as he allowed the car a few moments to warm up.

"Fourteen years." He replied.

"Then I'm amazed it started. You know that it will need an oil change and a some clean gas in it for starters right?" I asked.

"I had no idea you knew so much about cars Isabella." He smiled. "But I only plan on taking this as far as a dealer and then I will be purchasing a new car. It wouldn't do to have an unreliable car now would it?"

"Vampires." I muttered, shaking my head as he pulled down the driveway. I hadn't noticed how long the driveway was on the way in because I'd fallen asleep but it was an enormous track, lined both sides by trees. At the end stood a set of tall black metal gates, he opened them and then after driving through closed them behind us.

True to his word Carlisle pulled us over just as we reached the town into a car dealer. Where to my horror Carlisle handed over the keys and the paperwork from the glovebox of the Porsche and purchased a brand new Audi S4 saloon. It was a nice car, of course it was nice and for the price I would hope so; nearly £38,000. That sounded bad enough; to me anyway I'm sure it didn't seem expensive to some people but it sounded worse when he then informed me that that would be nearly $62,000! For a car! And then it got worse...

"So which one did you want?" he asked me. I just gaped at him like he was insane for a few moments before spluttering a no at him.

"Bella, I will be finding a hospital to work at fairly soon and you will need some way of getting yourself about." Carlisle reasoned.

"And I can do that with a car that costs a lot less than any of these." I replied firmly.

"I want you in a reliable car, what about one of the little ones over there?" he asked, gesturing for me to follow him. Half an hour later despite my protests Carlisle had also purchased a smaller car for me; an Audi A3. He didn't let me see the price on it before he pulled the price from the car but I knew from the prices on the others it was around £20,000. I wanted to feel guilty and awful that he was spending so much money on me but it was hard to when he looked so damn pleased with himself. He arranged for it to be delivered to the house for us and it did have one feature that I would find very useful taking into account the fact I was now in a completely different country; built in satellite navigation. I had also protested that I was fairly sure unless I was renting a car I wasn't allowed to drive in England but he dismissed this and informed me the paperwork was already taken care of. I was still pondering all of this when we climbed into Carlisle's new car.

"Bella, you aren't really angry with me are you?" he asked, as he pulled out of the dealership and headed to the centre of town.

"I'm not mad I just...I don't like expensive gifts." I replied.

"Does it not make you feel any better that to me it is not expensive?" he asked.

"Not really." I replied. "I am grateful Carlisle of course I am and I love the car, I could have never hoped to have such a nice car but...I feel bad about it. You've done so much for me already."

"And I would do it all a thousand times over. I would do anything for you. To keep you safe, to make you happy, to win your love I would do anything." He said softly, his eyes not leaving the road. It was almost as if he were saying it thoughtfully to himself.

"You have my love." I whispered, turning to look out of the window. He pulled the car into a multi-story car park and we both got out.

"Are you ready for your surprise?" he asked.

"The car wasn't the surprise?" I shot back nervously. He shook his head, leading us to the "lift" of the car park to reach the ground level. Carlisle had made me laugh explaining all of the words he could think of that were different in England than back home. When we reached the ground floor he covered my eyes suddenly and I squeaked in surprise.

"It's a surprise." He hushed me, leading me out of the door. When he uncovered my eyes I practically screamed in delight and ran.

"Bella!" he boomed, catching me midair. I gasped as the force of my impact knocked the wind from my lungs.

"Emmett!" I squealed, clinging to him in a bear hug that would probably bruise me. "I missed you so much!"

"We missed you too Bells!" he grinned, placing me back on my feet as Carlisle approached. I noticed immediately that Carlisle was eying Emmett threateningly and quickly stepped towards Carlisle in hope it would ease his worries. Emmett didn't look phased in the slightest, he just laughed and tossed one arm over Rosalie's shoulder which she promptly lifted and dropped away from her. "Carlisle told us you were taking a trip to England he said we could visit."

"I thought Emmett would brighten your day." Carlisle said, from behind me. "and Rosalie has Alice's gift for shopping...just with a little more restraint."

"Thank you!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck.

"That's my Bella, buy you a car and you act like the world will end bring you Emmett and Rosalie and anyone would think I'd handed you the world." He chuckled.

"What car did you get?" Rosalie asked casually.

"We stopped by the Audi dealership on our way into town. Nothing to flashy." He replied.

"Yeah, not to you they're not." I muttered, and then I bounced my way back to Emmett happily hugging his arm. "Emmett is better than a car any day!" I studied Carlisle's gaze as we headed towards the shopping centre and made sure to keep all of my actions around Emmett very casual. It made me very curious as to why Carlisle was being so protective, Edward never...actually scratch that Edward was nearly as protective anyway, but what I mean is...Edward seemed like that type of person, Carlisle isn't that kind of person...almost like it is completely out of his control. I made a mental note to bring up the topic again later.

"Do you have a list of what you need?" Rosalie asked me, causing me to jump. It was probably one of the most civil things she'd ever said to me.

"Not really." I admitted.

"We left in a hurry." Carlisle said wryly, tugging me from Emmett's side and taking my hand firmly in his. "We both need everything. I packed only about four outfits for myself, a few books, some personal belongings and my medical bag but that was all. Bella will need a whole wardrobe also, shoes, bags, coats, the works."

"I bet Alice is just going crazy knowing she's being left out of this!" Rosalie laughed. "No problem, Bella do you have any preferences or shall we just dive right in and see what we can find?"

"Um...dive?" I agreed nervously.

"Did you happen to check how big the trunk is on your new car or did you not think that far ahead?" Emmett nudged Carlisle.

"It's reasonable, well it should be without Alice here of course." He replied. Carlisle tugged my hand and turned me to face him as we stopped outside a large clothes store. "I am entrusting you to Rosalie's care for the next couple of hours. We will meet for lunch, so that you can eat and then decide if there is anything more you need to get."

"Er...sure." I nodded. I was unsure about spending a couple of hours alone with Rosalie who had never shown me any feelings other than dislike. Carlisle just smiled softly and lowered his lips to mine. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms firmly around his neck, I didn't really want him to go anywhere.

"That's weird." Emmett's voice commented, causing us to break apart and me to start a pretty good impersonation of a tomato.

"Sorry." I blurted quickly.

"No, I don't have a problem with it it's just...different." he grinned. "Can I call you Mum?"

"No you mostly certainly cannot!" I huffed.

"Kidding!" he laughed. "You'll always be my little sis."

"And the sooner you two leave us to it the sooner we'll be done so scoot!" Rosalie interrupted. Emmett gave her a peck on the cheek and Carlisle gave me one last kiss before they left us. I took a deep breath and turned to Rosalie. "Come on then, may as well start here."

I followed her into the store and watched as she scanned the rails of clothes and then looked back at me. I felt nervous under her gaze, until she started moving swiftly through the rails picking up clothes as she went. I followed her somewhat confused at her actions until she stopped outside the changing room and gestured for me to go inside.

"Oookay." I said, doing as she asked.

"Just check all of this fits, if there's anything you don't like then just put it to one side." She told me handing me the first few items. "It should all be fairly simple nothing too overstated." As I started browsing through the clothes and trying them on I was pleasantly surprised; they were all perfect, casual and comfortable.

"They're all great." I said, coming out of the cubicle. "Thanks, that was amazing."

"I love shopping, I love clothes, but I can spot from a mile off that you do not want to walk around in a dress and high heels." She smiled. "If I was as clumsy as you I wouldn't want to either."

"Yeah, exactly." I agreed, as we moved to the shoe section.

"We'd better get you some smart clothes though, just in case since you're supposed to be married and wealthy etcetera after all." She said thoughtfully. "You need a little black dress."

"A little black dress?" I enquired.

"Seriously Bella?" she asked in disbelief. "Every woman should have at least one little black dress, something smart but sexy that she feels like a movie star in."

"Oh..."

"We'll find you one, and some matching underwear while we're at it." She smirked.

"What like...lingerie?" I mouthed in horror.

"You got it." She winked. My mouth just dropped as she headed over to the cashiers desk. I quickly followed her. "Card?"

"What?"

"Bella check your back pocket." She told me. I reached my hand into one back pocket and then the other. In my right back pocket I found a card, lifting it out I read the name; 'Mrs E Peyton'. On the back was a small sticker with four digits written on it. "Pin number's on the back, Carlisle had it all set up already. Money is no object, great isn't it?" She grinned as I numbly reached my arm forward and handed the sales woman my new card.

"How exactly did your family get so much money?" I asked her, as we left the store.

"Bella, we found very early on that the secret to making money is that if you keep anything long enough it's worth money. Some of the jewellery and trinkets we have from the early nineteen hundreds are worth ridiculous amounts of money now." She explained. "The same with anything collectable, first edition books...the list goes on. Besides, Carlisle works as a Doctor, he gets paid pretty well and doesn't need to spend it and interest to the equation and when you live as long as we do money is something you just acquire without trying."

"Wow, so I should keep hold of all my useless junk?" I grinned. As we headed into another store I suddenly realised that I was having fun...with Rosalie of all people. I didn't question her and she didn't explain; we just enjoyed it.

"Come on." Rosalie insisted, tugging me into a store with mannequins in the window wearing nothing but lingerie, whilst the name "Ann Summers" meant nothing to me it didn't need to, I had a fairly good idea what the store contained. "You can't be a blushing bride forever!"

"I'm not actually a bride!" I hissed quietly.

"Not the point." She replied. "You want Carlisle right?" I turned bright red but nodded. "Then why not give him a treat?"

"Oh my god." I groaned, as I followed her inside. The first half of the store was just lingerie, it wasn't actually that bad. Pretty soon Rosalie and I were laughing at the men's underwear featuring such great lines as "Charm my snake", "Warning, choking hazard!" and "Free Protein Shake". Then she held up a white pair to me.

"Oh Bella you have to!" she grinned. I stared at them before bursting out laughing and nodding. After that we began to venture further into the store, I was feeling slightly braver now and more comfortable around Rosalie. The second half of the store held fancy dress costumes and other adult novelties. I held one up to inspect it; I had never seen one in the flesh so I showed it to Rosalie.

"Is that anything like the real thing?" I asked her.

"Please tell me you're joking Bella." She rolled her eyes. "You can't possibly be that innocent."

"Well I know they don't really vibrate obviously I just meant the shape." I muttered.

"You really aren't kidding?" she asked, suddenly realising I was serious. "Believe me; if a man knows what to do with it, the real thing is always better." I bit my lips nervously and placed the offending toy back on the shelf. "Bella trust me, there's nothing to be nervous about. It'll be wonderful."

After today, spending time with Rosalie and becoming friends with her...I did trust her. I just hoped she was right. We paid and then weighed down by our bags headed to meet Carlisle and Emmett for lunch.


	14. Chapter 14: Family

Author's Notes: OMG! Sorry, it's taken a little while! I won't bore you with the details but anyways here's the latest chapter! A big thanks for JenJenSon for all her help I probably wouldn't get half as much done without her! I'd also like to say a big thanks to every single one of you who took the time to review! It really means a lot that you are enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters and make no profits from writing this.

I'm Just Addicted

Family

We sat outside at the restaurant and I picked at my chicken burger while we waited for Carlisle and Emmett. We sat in an awkward silence for a while before I had to know.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I blurted out, before having the grace to at least look embarrassed. "I mean, I'm glad and everything but-"

"Don't get me wrong, I still don't approve of your choice to give up your humanity for this...frozen existence that we have and I would hope that considering you are able to be with Carlisle without giving up your life that you would reconsider...but I think we both know that's not going to happen." She smirked. "Look, to start with I didn't want you anywhere near my family, but they love you...you became a part of the family and without you it fell apart. We need you Bella. I'm sorry for being...well a bitch but..."

"It's fine, really." I shrugged. "No harm done. Oh look there's Emmett and Carlisle!"

"It's strange but dark hair really suits him." Rosalie mused.

"I like it both ways..." I sighed, taking a moment to just stare at him as he approached. He had stopped using contacts to hide his eyes as soon as we'd arrived in England but his hair being dark was still strange to me.

"Bella what have you done to him? He looks young!" she smirked, nudging me. "And hot!"

"I don't know, he's always looked like that." I laughed, and he had; even the first day he burst through those emergency room doors...

"You guys better not be laughing at me!" Emmett called, as they got within earshot.

"If I was going to laugh at you why would I hide it? It's far more fun to laugh in your face." Rosalie retorted.

"Wow, what did you buy the whole shopping centre?" I asked, noticing that they were both practically buried by bags.

"We were done fairly quickly with my clothing so we got the household shopping, food and so forth." Carlisle replied, placing all the bags at our feet before sitting next to me and wrapping his arm firmly around my waist as I ate.

"I bet you forgot some things." Rosalie commented.

"Like what? I think he emptied the shelves." Emmett laughed.

"Like...make up, razors...women's personal items." Rosalie began listing.

"Actually razors I got." Carlisle replied thoughtfully. "Make up is in your job description Rose and as for the women's...items I did not forget however it is not the sort of thing that I would know Bella's preference on."

"Guys!" I interrupted, choking on my coke. "I am actually still eating!"

"I am so lost." Emmett commented, leaning back in his chair. Rosalie to my horror leant over to whisper in his ear and Emmett's face dropped and he jammed his fingers in his ears. "LALALALALALA! That's so gross! That's practically my sister you're talking about!"

"Don't be a baby." Rosalie muttered.

"Seriously though that is right up there in the list of things I never want to picture, like really old people doing it or you know like-"

"And I'm done." I interrupted, dropping the remains of my chicken burger and wiping my hands in my napkin.

"Sorry, Bella." He grinned.

"Allow me to interrupt with perfect timing." A familiar voice chimed. We all turned to see Alice standing with a shopping bag in each hand, Jasper stood behind her holding what looked to be the rest of Alice's shopping excursion.

"Alice, Jasper." Carlisle greeted.

"What are you guys doing here?" I exclaimed, standing to hug Alice.

"Well...I saw an opportunity far too good to miss." She beamed, pulling up a chair and joining us at the table as I sat back down. Jasper followed suit and grabbed another chair himself. "Emmett and Rose hadn't decided where they were going next and I was going crazy by myself-"

"Thanks Alice." Jasper sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Oops!" she grinned sheepishly. "I didn't mean that but I just wanted to see everyone so badly...when I saw us all here I knew I had to come! We're all going to stay here for a little while!"

"Why didn't you call and let us know you were coming?" Carlisle asked.

"You know how much she loves surprises." Jasper replied.

"Good to have you back bro!" Emmett grinned, slapping jasper firmly on the back. Jasper leant over and passed Carlisle an envelope.

"Wonderful, thank you Jasper." Carlisle nodded, glancing inside.

"Anyway, you distracted me. Here Bella!" Alice announced, handing me the two small shopping bags in her hands. "My timing is perfect is it not?" Rosalie and I glanced in the bags and started digging through the mountain of make-up.

"Hate to break it to you but we finished that conversation and had a whole new one before you appeared." Rosalie told her. Alice pouted. "It wasn't an important conversation if that helps."

I glanced at Carlisle; still talking to Jasper about something...he had his family back, or at least most of it; after months of it just being us, there would now be six of us in the house, at least for now that is. I was happy for him, of course I was happy for them and I loved the thought of having the others around...but I did wonder if it would change anything and also feel slightly disappointed that my alone time with Carlisle was about to become very limited.

Carlisle POV

I felt Bella lean against me slightly as everyone continued to talk and catch up. I wondered if she was tired but she didn't look overly tired, just content. I was glad. I glanced at the envelope on the table in front of me and smiled, as amusing as it was having her as my pretend wife I was fairly certain she would be pleased to be Bella again when the paperwork was finished and I would be myself again also.

From what Jasper had told me, while Alice was busy talking with Rosalie and Bella; they were planning on staying at least a month. It would be very strange to suddenly have a full house again but it was a welcome surprise, though it would be interesting to see how my new over-protective nature dealt with sharing my time with Bella. It had been agony to be separated from her for a few hours this morning but I knew Rosalie would keep her safe.

"We should go, I'd like to see if any decorating needs doing to our room before I fill the closet with all these goodies." Alice grinned.

"Whatd'ya say babe, we staying?" Emmett asked, swinging his arm over Rosalie's shoulders.

"I guess." She nodded. "At least for now, it's not like we'd decided where we were going anyway."

No more than two hours later and it was hard to believe it was the same house! Not because they had decorated it, they were only decorating their rooms but the energy in the house was completely different.

"Emmett cut it out!" I heard Bella squeal. "It's not funny!"

I headed in the direction of the noise and found them in Alice and Jasper's room painting the walls. Bella stood in the centre of the room glancing around her defensively and Emmett ran around her, although Bella probably couldn't see Emmett due to his speed. Every now and then Emmett would stop and splatter some paint on Bella causing him to laugh and to growl in frustration.

"Gotta be quicker than that Bells!" he taunted.

"This isn't funny anymore!" she shouted at him. I leant against the doorframe and folded my arms over my chest; they still hadn't noticed me. I was sure Alice had but she pretended not to.

"Emmett, would you please refrain from tormenting my wife?" I asked. Immediately Emmett stopped and looked pretty sheepish.

"That's weird." He laughed.

"It's just pretend." Bella mumbled, shoving at him playfully and I couldn't prevent the growl that rolled it's way up my throat causing everyone to stare at me in surprise.

"Bella, a minute of your time please?" I asked, I needed her out of that room. I needed her stood next to me so that I could regain some kind of control over myself. I saw the look in her eyes, she looked worried and I hoped that my unseemly behaviour hadn't frightened her.

"What's up?" she asked, as she followed me out of the room.

"Forgive me, I just...I needed a few moments with you, if that isn't a problem of course." I told her, taking her hand firmly and continuing down the hallway to our room.

"Don't be silly, you can steal me whenever you want." She grinned; I instantly felt better having her near me.

"I'm glad." I smiled, tugging her into our room and pushing the door shut.

"Dr Cullen, whatever did you want to talk about?" she grinned.

"Bella, don't encourage me." I commanded her softly, "Come here." I watched her step closer to me slowly and place her hands on my chest as she leant up to press a chaste kiss on my lips.

"You've gotta tell me what's going on." She started, licking her lips nervously, drawling my gaze to them involuntarily. "Why you're so...different..." I saw her gulp nervously under my gaze and lifted my eyes to meet hers.

"I'm not sure now is the best time to discuss it." I advised. She didn't even blink; she wasn't excepting that as an answer. "It's rather complicated Bella and I certainly don't want you to feel obligated in any way."

"No more secrets." She whispered, her eyes pleading with me. I knew she was probably reliving every time Edward kept something from her for her own good...

"A vampire won't always grow possessive over a new mate, sometimes it is just in our nature to do so depending on the personality but that is a different matter. However, one of our kind will only feel possessive of a new mate around even their own coven when a bonding process has begun." I started, slowly coaxing her backwards until she see dropped to sit on the bed. "A bond that starts all by itself, for our kind it only happens once."

"I don't understand."

"Bella, you are the one for me, the only one for me and will always be. I understand that this is a lot for you to comprehend and I do not wish to place any pressure on you at all by telling you." I sighed; there was no way that it wouldn't sound like I was pressing her now. "Just understand that while the bond is still new, I am still trying to adjust to its affect on my nature."

"Do you mean...like an imprint?" she asked quietly.

"I assume you're referring to the wolves, I suppose it is incredibly similar. I could never intentionally hurt you; I will be whatever you need me to be and if there ever comes a time that you wish us to part ways I will simple watch over you until the end of your human life." I told her. She was so quiet; I was beginning to worry but tried to tell myself she was processing the information.

"Is that why not all vampires are like Jasper and Alice?" she enquired softly, looking up so that I could finally look into those big brown eyes.

"Yes." I nodded. "Both Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett are true mated pairs. Rather than being simple a couple or a good match they are something closer to two halves of a whole."

"You know something strange." She murmured softly, leaning against my shoulder comfortably. "That's exactly the words I thought of to describe Alice and Jasper the other day."

We sat like that in silence for a long while, just comfortable with one another. I allowed Bella to rethink over everything I had told her, process it and come to her own decisions.

"Do the others know?" she asked some time later.

"Yes, they first guessed when we encountered Alice and Jasper back in Seattle." I informed her.

"How long have you known?"

"Around the same time, I was somewhat surprised myself." I admitted. "And I only didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel any guilt should you ever desire to part ways."

"And I thought you were the smart one." She murmured, turning her face into my neck. I felt her lips there and then her tongue before she start to trail her lips to mine and I had never been more grateful.


	15. Chapter 15: Nerves

Author's Notes: I'm sorry I know a bunch of you are itching for lemons but unfortunately it has taken a while to get the setting right and have them where I want them. Anyways I'm getting there so please bear with me and I hope you all love it! Sending a big virtual hug to my beta JenJenSon and a big thanks for all her help. Without further delay here's chapter fifteen.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters and make no profits from writing this.

I'm Just Addicted

Nerves

I felt a calm, warm feeling spread across me as I began to understand what he was telling me. I felt a small smile tug at my lips as I leant against him. It was like a weight had been lifted, an explanation to the way Carlisle seemed to complete me.

"Do the others know?" I asked some time later.

"Yes, they first guessed when we encountered Alice and Jasper back in Seattle." He replied, I nodded slowly.

"How long have you known?"

"Around the same time, I was somewhat surprised myself." he admitted. "And I only didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel any guilt should you ever desire to part ways."

"And I thought you were the smart one." I murmured with a smile; nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck and placing kisses there before moving to kiss his lips. Didn't he see that if I was meant for him, he was meant for me?

"I was not certain of how this bond would affect you while you are still human." He said barely leaving my lips. "If you remain human you are capable of loving another, if you were to become one of us you will see as I do...that you are a gift, a blessing, a privilege and an addiction, you are the only one that has complete control over me."

I didn't look away from him but manoeuvred my hands until one of the sharper charms on my charm bracelet scratched hard against my skin, I leant forward and pressed my lips firmly against Carlisle's hoping to momentarily distract him. I forced the charm harder until it drew blood. I felt him stiffen before I'd even pulled away.

"Then do it." I said, daring to meet his gaze, knowing he had already taken a glance at my wrist. "Change me, I'm yours Carlisle just change me." He lifted my wrist to inspect it closer, and found it to be little more than a graze I had just managed to draw enough blood to cause a small drop to start running down it but not enough to travel any further. I lifted my wrist closer to his lips and looked up at him pleadingly. "Please?" He held my wrist a little firmer and I closed my eyes expecting him to do it, my muscles tensed in anticipation of his teeth piercing my skin...nothing. He instead kissed my fingertips and the palm of my hand and then I gasped and my eyes flew open as I felt his cool tongue slid along my wrist. Did he really just do that? He licked along the scratch again and then pressed a kiss against the pressure point of my wrist causing a small moan to slip past my lips. I flushed in embarrassment as he pulled away and looked me in the eye before I promptly fixed my gaze on my lap.

"I don't think now is the time or place to be taking your life Bella." He said softly, I could almost hear him smiling as he said it. "Why might I ask are you so embarrassed?" I felt myself heat up even more and licked my lips that were suddenly dry. "You have no reason to be embarrassed." He lifted me to sit across his lap and wrapped his arms firmly around me.

"Sure." I said rolling my eyes. He leant forward pressing his lips to my shoulder and again I felt my breath catch. He was going to kill me; I would never make it to becoming a vampire because I was going to die of a heart attack first!

"Is that all you're embarrassed about?" he chuckled. I nodded, he could hear every effect he had on me, hear my blood rushing through my veins, my heart pumping it faster my breath catching or gasping and every tell tale noise I made. He could hear the affect he had on me from even standing close to me. "Bella_, that_ is certainly nothing to be embarrassed about. It is your reaction that provokes me further, that drives me to insanity..." The last of his words were mumbled and lost as his lips began moving over my shoulder again. I turned myself in his arms until I straddled his lap and could drag his lips to meet mine.

He fell backwards onto the mattress and I followed him down. I needed to breathe but I didn't want to stop, I didn't want to do anything that might cause him to stop. I gasped feeling the hardness now pressed against me.

"How can you possibly doubt the affect you have on me, you silly beautiful girl?" he mumbled against my lips. A few moments later he pulled away slowly. "I will be going hunting shortly; Alice and Jasper will stay with you. Then tonight I wish to take you somewhere."

"OK." I nodded, before leaning down to lie comfortable on his chest.

I had originally started reading when Carlisle first left with Emmett and Rosalie to hunt but that quickly grew tiring. I was too agitated. I didn't really like surprises, not ones that made me nervous anyway. How could Carlisle tell me everything he did, kiss me like he did and then disappear? It was hardly fair.

The affect he had on me was so extreme it was embarrassing, even stepping close to me had my inside tying in knots. It was like slow torture...I was sure I was going to self-combust at any moment.

"Bella please, stop." I heard Jasper's voice and nearly leapt ten feet into the air and let out a loud yelp. Did they need to appear so suddenly and so silently? They knew I was human and clumsy enough without any provocation. "Sorry Bella." He grinned as I clutched my hand to my chest and tried to check my heart was still beating.

"Am I bugging you?" I sighed, dropping to sit on the bed. I guessed my emotional rollercoaster was probably the cause of his visit. I felt a wash of calm and then met Jasper's rather satisfied look. "I'll take that as a yes."

"What exactly are you worrying about so much anyways?" he asked, leaning casually on the doorframe.

"Idon'tlikesurprises" I mumbled in a rush, but being a vampire he understood me.

"Such as?"

"Carlisle...he's taking me somewhere later." I said as if that explained everything, thankfully Jasper just grinned so I assumed it did explain enough.

"He's taking you somewhere to have some alone time and you're worried about it being a bad surprise?" he asked raising an eyebrow. I nodded. "Man, you guys are doing it wrong." And that was about the time the penny dropped and I did another classic tomato impression. "There you go."

"Oh...I um...I hadn't thought of that." I said quietly, suddenly realising why Carlisle had decided to go and hunt and why he was taking me somewhere. "Oh my god, Rosalie, I need Rosalie." Jasper looked at my anxious face and sent another wave of calm my way. "Right, hunting...Alice I need Alice."

"Finally." Alice's voice chimed, as she appeared behind Jasper. "Jasper, would you go get Bella some dinner? I think we just need a minute."

"You don't have t-" I started to protest but he was gone and Alice was on the bed next to me.

"Bella, just calm down, it's not a big deal." Alice smiled. "Let's get you a nice relaxing bath, when you get out and dressed Jasper will have dinner for you. You have nothing to worry about Bella, its fate."

"Is it?" I sighed.

"Of course." She smiled, leading me through to the en suite. "Bella, you are a missing part of our family, you fit right in and we all love you. You were drawn straight to us, you and Edward didn't work out and when you and Carlisle met again and you're both actually single it was like love at first sight! What further proof of fate could you possibly need?"

"Alice you make everything sound like a cheesy movie." I rolled my eyes, as she started sprinkling the bath bubbles into the water.

"What exactly has you so panicked?" she asked in a more serious voice.

"Alice, you know I'm not...I haven't "you know" before." I hissed.

"Is that all? That's your big worry?" she asked in disbelief. "Bella, Carlisle loves you! Nothing else matters, it'll be great trust me."

Alice sat in the bathroom with me once I had sunk into the warm water and started to wash my hair for me, while I shaved my legs.

"Are you going to shave everywhere, did you want some privacy?" Alice asked.

"What? Um...I wasn't planning to...should I? Am I supposed to?" I babbled.

"Bella, you're not supposed to do anything, it's completely up to you and whatever you feel most comfortable and confident with." Alice giggled. "Really Bella, you worked in a club and you're still this innocent...it's very strange."

"Alice I didn't mean I've never shaved myself before, I just didn't know if it was something that you were supposed to do before...someone sees it." I replied.

"It's not for him, it's for you Bella." She replied. She helped me rinse my hair as well before heading back to the bedroom and returning with an outfit for me to put on.

I pulled the dress over my head and tugged a little uncomfortable. It was a simple black dress that fell just above my knees; I frowned and looked at Alice as she came back in.

"I'm going to freeze." I told her.

"You're right, I'll go find something else." She agreed. She returned with a pair of black trousers and a red sweater. I allowed her to dry my hair and then gasped at my reflection in the mirror. "I was wondering how long it would take you to notice." She smiled smugly at me as I gaped at my hair in the mirror. When I thought Alice was washing my hair she had actually been dying it. Now my hair was almost identical to its natural dark colour.

"So I only had to change my hair colour for a day? Why didn't you just tell me that?" I asked.

"Well...it wasn't certain." She replied, then she continued. "And it was fun."

"Thought so." I mumbled.

"You know...I don't think you need any make-up tonight Bella." She told me. I stood and pressed my hand on various spots of her face. "What are you doing?"

"Ssshh...I'm just checking if you're ill." I laughed.

Jasper interrupted us to let us know I had dinner downstairs. At first eating was difficult but since Jasper had had gone through the trouble of making it for me I forced myself to eat the first few bites and after that my body seemed to realise how hungry I was and the rest vanished pretty easily.

"Feeling better?" Jasper asked, as I took my plate to the kitchen.

"Yeah, a bit." I nodded. "Thanks."

"Good, 'cause the others are about to walk through the front door." He grinned.

"What?" I span and looked towards the entrance hall in horror before dropping my plate in the sink and running upstairs. "Alice!"

Carlisle POV

I heard Bella shouting before we even reached the front door and when we arrived there was no sign of her downstairs. Emmett came barging past me and upstairs; he was a mess. Rosalie also darted past me.

"I'm going to check on her." She told me, heading upstairs. Did I miss something? As pleased I was that the girls were getting along I was only wanting some alone time with my mate which seemed to cause a massive flurry of activity in the house.

"Carlisle you can't wear that!" Alice's voice chided. "Go change in mine and Jasper's room your clothes are in there already."

Why did I have a feeling that my plans were being manipulated by our small pixie? I shook my head and chuckled to myself as I made my way to their room. I could play along until I had Bella to myself if it made her happy.


	16. Chapter 16: Ecstasy

Author's Notes: Sorry, it's been ages! I just wanted to be happy with this chapter since it's the one everyone's been waiting for and I hope it doesn't disappoint! I'm no expert at lemons so please let me know if you think it needs work! Special thanks to JenJenSon for all her help through all of my stories.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters, and I make no money from this story whatsoever!

I'm Just Addicted

Ecstasy

"Alice, what's with the bag?" I heard Bella ask as she appeared on the landing.

"I asked her to pack you one." I called.

"Oh...Carlisle..." suddenly her voice was somewhat quieter. I watched as her feet shuffled nervously.

"Actually, you know Alice; she saw that I was going to ask you to pack a bag and intervened so I conceded to allow her the small task." I explained. "Are you going to stay up there all night?"

"Sorry." She replied, quickly starting down the stairs. I met her at the bottom and took her hands. Her hair was dark again; beautiful...she was herself again.

"You look beautiful." I told her, taking her face between my hands and placing a soft but deliberate kiss on her lips. I heard her heart beat faster and smiled, if only she could see the affect she had on me as easily. "Do you want to know where we're going?" I pulled away and took the bag from her hand.

"Where?" she asked following me to the door. I slid the bag along my arm until the strap rested at my elbow and then lifted Bella into my arms. I chuckled at the startled scream that escaped her. "What are you doing?"

"I am carrying you." I told her matter-of-factly, as I started walking across the driveway. "Hold on." Then I ran, not so fast as to cause the cold air to freeze her of course but enough that it surprised her. Still, we reached the cottage on the other side of the estate in just a few minutes. Alice had already done her thing earlier and the cottage was already lit.

"This is the surprise?" she whispered.

"Not, exactly." I replied, lowering her to her feet and unlocking the door. "The surprise is some quiet time. I know the past few days have been somewhat eventful for you and I thought maybe we could have some quiet time like we had before all of this happened." I gestured for her to enter the cottage and she did so, slowly. "Don't be so nervous Bella."

"It's beautiful." She said quietly, looking around the large living room with the fire lit to our right. Straight ahead of us was the kitchen and then to the left the bedrooms and bathroom.

"You look disappointed." I noted softly, putting down her bag and pulling her into my arms. She bit her lip and shook her head but said nothing. The gesture spoke volumes though. "You thought I wanted you alone for a different reason." It wasn't a question; it was a fact. She flushed a little and bowed her head. "I'd be lying if I told you there wasn't some truth to that as well..." I admitted.

"Really?" she asked quietly.

"Really." I nodded, kissing her neck before stepping away to give her a brief tour of the cottage. "There are two bedrooms; both are small doubles so make yourself comfortable wherever you wish. Over here is the bathroom, small I'm afraid but such is the problem with old cottages, the kitchen; it has an aga so it's always warm in here and lastly the living room where we began."

"It's lovely." She smiled.

"And only a ten minute walk to the main house at human pace." I added. "Close enough to the family but far enough to still have a bit of peace and quiet, there are plenty of books in the bedrooms that you are welcome to enjoy."

She took the hint that I would not be throwing her on her back the moment she walked through the door and went to find a book.

Bella POV

I thumbed through a few of the books on the shelf before picking one, there was a shelf of older books and a shelf of brand new ones...the ones I had brought the day we ran into Alice and Jasper in town, the day Carlisle had first told me that he loved me. So much had happened since then it was hard to remember that it wasn't actually that long ago. I picked up one of the books it was called 'Love Letters by Katie Fforde', it had sounded both romantic and entertaining so I decided to read that one.

When I returned to the living room Carlisle was sat on the floor with his back leant against the sofa with his nose in a book. I crossed the room and ignoring the couch I lowered myself to the floor and settled next to Carlisle leaning comfortably against him before opening my own book. I didn't miss his amused expression.

"The reason I sat on the floor was to allow you to lay on the sofa." He chuckled.

"I'm comfy right here." I replied, dismissing any further argument. It was nearly an hour later that I started to stir from my muscles growing stiff.

"Still comfortable dear?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I ignored him and got up, then pushed his legs apart and sat between them so that I could lean back against his chest.

"Much better." I grinned, shuffling myself until I got comfortable again and reopening my book.

"Must you test my patience woman?" he asked, as I once again adjusted my position.

"Sorry, humans can't sit still indefinitely." I mumbled.

"I think you misunderstand me Bella." He replied, I think he was half saying it to himself because it was so quiet I was actually unsure whether that was what he had said. I turned myself until I could look him in the eye; as if there would be an explanation in them.

"I do?" I asked. He looked uncertain for a moment before putting his book down and then taking mine from my hands and placing that to one side also.

"Definitely." He breathed, lifting me and turning me fully until he placed me on his lap, legs either side of his waist. His meaning was immediately obvious and I felt my telltale blush creeping onto my face as usual. He wasn't deterred though; he caught my chin with his fingertips and lured my lips to his. I melted in an instant; I was alive...like my blood was pure adrenaline as my fingers wound their way into the hair at the base of his neck and I kissed him back roughly. "Bedroom." That one word leaving his lips, still half fused with mine caused unspeakable stirrings in my lower stomach as he lifted himself and me swiftly from the floor. I refused to let my lips separate from his, our tongues battling with more force than was probably necessary; plunging, exploring, mouths nipping and in the heat that had suddenly escalated between us.

As Carlisle lowered us onto the bed his body covering mine as his lips began to trail down my neck I felt him calm. His attentions slowed to a more controlled steady pace and I knew that it was the gentle Carlisle rather than the vampire Carlisle in control now. His cold tongue slowly ran along my collarbone and I sucked in a breath.

"Breathe Bella." He whispered in my ear before lowering himself again until he was level with my stomach. I felt him kiss over my stomach and place kisses along my skin as he lifted my sweater up slowly, his kisses peppering up between my breasts and then my sweater was gone. He started back down the way he had come up pausing to nibble at my hipbone, which caused a moan to escape, louder than I had thought it would be.

He unbuttoned my trousers and then began to slide them smoothly down my hips and off of me before returning his lips to mine. This was happening, this was really happening. My usual blush was no longer making an appearance instead I was so nervous I could hardly remember to breathe and felt myself shaking involuntarily every now and then.

"Relax, Bella; there's no rush." Carlisle said softly, slipping a stray curl behind my ear. "We have all the time in the world." I took a deep breath and mentally chastised myself; I was not going to let any of my stupid nerves ruin this. It was Carlisle, what about Carlisle could ever be scary? I was being self-conscious and irrational; Carlisle had never given me reason to doubt him. Making the most of my new found determination I reached my hands up, allowing my fingers to find the buttons of his shirt and undo them one by one until he was able to help me slide it from his perfectly sculptured shoulders. How did I get to be so lucky? He was...indescriba- oh god! I gave up thinking the moment I felt his cold mouth against my nipple. When had he removed my bra?

"I-I want you." I told him, I had to make him understand, I'd do anything to prevent him from stopping.

"Sssh...one step at a time." He promised. I shuddered as I felt him caress over my underwear before gripping the hem in his fingertips. He seemed to be judging my reaction as he went, slowly tugging them down my legs. Everything grew a little hazy and my breathing grew more ragged and irregular as Carlisle returned so that his face was level with mine. His eyes had changed from their normal honey colour to a darker amber colour as he eyed me intently. Then his lips covered mine again and I felt his cool hand on my hip before it ventured further down my thighs and stole my breath as his hands brushed across my centre ever so gently.

Carlisle POV

I had to keep myself firmly in control; I could not let my more animalistic nature ruin this experience for Bella. She was breathtaking, so warm and so responsive. My hand slid over her before moving back across her thigh and around to her backside pulling her hard against me, she had to feel how much I wanted her, desired her; needed her.

"Please..." She whimpered below me. I moved my hand back between us. I slowly slid my fingers over her, testing her reaction and coaxing her to relax into my touch. I was grateful that my groan was too low for her to hear as I slid my fingers over her, she was so hot to the touch it was indescribable. Hearing her small whimpers was the most heavenly sound I could ever hear as she practically threw her head back into the bed covers exposing her throat to me. Taking advantage of this I moved to kiss her neck and throat, tasting the sweetness of her skin and feeling her rushing pulse just below my lips.

I felt her relax fairly quickly, even leaning into my hand; her body betraying her desires in the most basic way. I moved my lips to her earlobe, my teeth applying the exact amount of pressure to cause her sharp intake of breath but not break the skin. I drew in a breath of my own taking in her delicious scent. "Isabella Swan, you have become my addiction...my reason for being." I breathed close to her ear, enjoying her shiver under me. I continued for a few more moments, stroking back and forth along her folds, teasing her clit gently before I slid two fingers into her. I let out a groan she could hear this time, feeling how hot and wet she was, all for me...my Bella.

As I started to rock my hand, moving my fingers in and out of her at a smooth and steady pace she cried out loudly. I glanced at her to be sure I hadn't hurt her but her head was throw back, eyes closed as she bit her lip in pleasure. It was beautiful, by far the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I smiled to myself as I felt her beginning to buck against my hand, driving my fingers as deep as she could. I could feel her muscles beginning to tense around me every couple of thrusts and began to kiss down her body, gently sucking at the skin over her hipbone drawing at a loud moan before I continued my way down to taste her. She gasped at the cool touch of my tongue against her and began to pant uncontrollably. A few moments later her body went rigid before her muscles began to seize repeatedly around my fingers as her lips parted letting out a loud cry of pleasure.

"Oh god Carlisle!" she gasped out, between her cries of ecstasy. I stood corrected, that was the most incredible sound I had ever heard; Bella, crying out my name, as she came undone in pleasure of orgasm, nothing could be more beautiful. I slowed to a slow gentle movement to allow her the few pleasurable aftershocks that shook her body as she came down from her heights and back to her senses. I stalked up her body again, not stopping until my chest rested over hers; rising and falling heavily, my lips hovered over hers, still letting out small pants and gasps.

"You are so incredibly beautiful." I told her softly, pressing my lips to hers. I kissed her slowly but inside I wanted nothing more than to kiss her hard, thrust myself into her and claim her in every way, make her mine until she was screaming my name.

"Carlisle...I love you." She breathed against my lips, her hand roaming my back and pressing me to her again.

"I love you." I whispered back, then I felt her small hands working their way between us to unfasten my trousers. I chuckled at her antics, leaning up slightly to grant her access to my zipper properly. "Slowly Bella, allow yourself time to catch your breath."

"I want you." She said, biting her lip and shaking her head. "No more waiting." I released myself from her grip and removed the rest of my clothing myself before returning to her.

"Alright, no more waiting." I agreed, stroking her cheek. "But you must promise to tell me if I am hurting you, I may be fairly confident in my control but you are still very breakable Bella and I am not perfect." I adjusted myself between her legs and felt my erection pressing against her slicked entrance.

"You are perfect," she murmured, meeting my eyes daringly. "You're perfect for me." I pushed into her slowly, all the way to the hilt and felt her tense all around me. Her breath came out in a large rush and I could have sworn there was a hint of panic in her eyes. I held still for a moment, waiting for any sign that she had changed her mind. She didn't look in pain but she didn't look particularly comfortable either.

Bella POV

It hurt. Not as much as I had been worried it would though. It was more of a strange uncomfortable stretching feeling after a deep breath it no longer hurt. I felt him move out a little and then back in; bobbing in small, gentle thrusts and a few moments later I felt no discomfort at all. I wanted more.

I felt him cold and hard sliding in and out of me, stretching me, touching me where no other had. It reached all those sweet spots inside of me, the friction causing little thrills of pleasure through me. I met Carlisle's gaze and saw his eyes, a deep amber staring intently down at me. It was so intense, feeling the coldness of him against the hottest part of me...

I watched Carlisle's face for a moment as he seemed to let go of his control a little, I could see the pleasure on his face as he began to increase the speed of his movements...that was for me. Me; average looking; clumsy and danger magnet Bella... Carlisle's every muscle was perfect, well defined and toned...he was nearly as built as Jacob had been last time I had seen him but not as large as Emmett.

I frowned to myself suddenly, why was I thinking about Emmett? Or Jacob? Carlisle thrust harder into me and I groaned loudly, I should have been embarrassed by it but I couldn't concentrate on anything but his now more powerful movements. I tugged his lips down to crash against mine forcefully, when he pulled away to along me oxygen I moved my lips to his neck being sure to bite down on his hard skin, I bite him hard and it left no mark but he did feel it; I could tell by the rumble in his throat.

Carlisle's hand that gripped my hip suddenly started to grip harder, I knew I would bruise and apparently so did he because he instantly made sure he moved his hand away so that his was leaning on his arms, making sure they weren't gripping me. I had never felt move turned on, more powerful...I had made Carlisle Cullen lose control. I knew he was losing control because his movements grew more erratic, more frenzied as he drove deep inside of me. It felt incredible.

"Bella..." he seemed to purr in my ear. "Look what you do to me, my beautiful girl." A small moan slipped past my lips at his words as he began to pant and groan himself before with a few more powerful thrusts he shuddered against me, growling softly in my ear. It was too fast or too quiet for me to make out his words but it was sexy none the less. After a few moments he slowly moved himself from over me and laid on his back next to me. My Carlisle.

"I want you to change me." I said quietly a while later.

"Bella, you do not need to decide right now." He murmured, rolling onto his side and stroking across the skin of my waist. "You have forever, if you want it. There is no rush; I want you to be certain."

"I am." I croaked, I thought to myself for a moment trying to find the words to explain. "I don't know if I'll be able to explain it to you, ever...but Carlisle I need you. Something happened to me...I don't care if humans can love again, I wouldn't want to. It will never be like this. No one could ever be more perfect for me than you."

"Perhaps the bonding process can have more of an effect on your will while you are still human than we first thought." Carlisle mused, his fingers brushing up my arm from my elbow to my shoulder.

"Carlisle I don't care what the reasons are. I just know that I've never felt this...connection with anyone, ever." I told him firmly. "I belong with your family; there is no other choice for me. I don't belong anywhere else, it's fate; it has to be."

"Alice will be so thrilled to hear your theories on that." He chuckled. "I understand Bella; I cannot imagine being separated from you either."

"Then don't." I whispered, offering him my wrist. "Change me."

"Stop trying to get me to end your life Bella." He chuckled, placing a kiss on the pressure point of my wrist. He looked up at my thoughtfully, his lips still pressed against the skin of my wrist. He seemed to make a decision and then laced his fingers through mine. "When we return to America Bella, I would very much appreciate it if you would do me the honour of being my wife." I didn't reply, I knew he probably took this as a bad sign but it wasn't a no...I just couldn't get my brain to even think let alone instruct my mouth to open and explain. "I promise you Isabella Swan that I will take full responsibility for controlling Alice so that it is not-"

"A big deal?" I asked, remembering our conversation in the kitchen...that seemed like so long ago when in fact it was only a couple of months.

"Quite." He smiled wryly. "Marry me Bella; grant me the opportunity to spend my life devoted to making you happy."

"Carlisle you can stop talking now." I whispered. "My answer is yes. It was always yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck and practically lying on him in my momentary excitement.

"Thank you, Bella." Carlisle murmured, leaning in to kiss me.

Author's Notes: Sorry again for the taking forever! Hope it was worth the wait so far! Just remember Bella and Carlisle's alone time isn't over yet!


	17. Chapter 17: Discovered

Author's Notes: Oh my god I am sooooo sorry! I really didn't mean to take so long but I won't bore you with the details. Anyway here's my latest chapter! It's not as long as it could be but better a short chapter than no chapter at all. As always a big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for helping me, I dread to think how many mistakes would still be in my chapters without her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters, and I make no money from this story whatsoever!

I'm Just Addicted

Discovered

I rubbed my eyes and rolled onto my back, my body protested greatly at the movement causing me to groan in pain. I glanced around the room, it was light and the curtains were open...where was Carlisle? I rubbed my eyes and then sat up somewhat stiffly before slowly getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom. After a few human moments I placed my toothbrush back in its holder and began brushing my hair into a somewhat tidy ponytail. I gasped as I noticed a bluish bruise on my neck and touched it gently, noticing also one on my wrist. I glanced at the rest of my body to discover sure enough small bruises littered my skin around my waist and hips also. I returned to the bedroom and lifted Carlisle's shirt from the chair to put on for decency while I searched him out.

I got as far the hall before I could smell food, turning to head towards the kitchen I found Carlisle at the cooker. Every time he passed the window a small ray of the morning sunlight caught his shoulders or arms, which cast small sparkles on his skin. I just stared at every movement in his sculptured muscles as he moved...then he turned to smile at me.

"Good morning Bella, I hope you're hungry."

"Yeah, starving actually." I replied, suddenly noticing my stomachs protests for food. I sat down at the small table as he placed a plate in front of me. He sat down next to me and I blushed as I started eating under his watchful gaze.

"I should probably go for a hunt this morning." He said quietly, I looked up at him and noticed that sure enough his eyes were a dark amber colour compared to his normal pale golden colour. "I won't be long, it's just a precaution."

"Hey, did you know you're still talking with a British accent?" I asked him, grinning as a placed another forkful of my eggs into my mouth.

"Habit." He replied. "After all I was born and raised in London and have come back here several times over the years, whilst I changed my voice to better fit in as the decades passed and I changed locations it is still easy to slip back into my original accent and speech patterns."

"Does that mean...if I become one of you I'll have to change my voice?" I asked.

"No Bella, all you need to do is be sure that you keep up with the current way of speaking as time passes. You will not have to change your speech overnight, it could be decades or even centuries before there is a noticeable change." He chuckled.

"Oh...right."

"What did you want to do for the rest of the day?" he asked, when I just shrugged because I had a mouthful he continued talking. "I'll be starting at the hospital in Basingstoke at the end of next week so I wanted to enjoy some time with you before then, I thought we could go and find out about some college courses."

"That sounds good." I nodded.

"Bella? Have you decided against college after all?" he asked suspiciously.

"No." I laughed. "It's not that, it's just when you said enjoy time with me, studying wasn't the first thing that came to mind."

"I'm sure you won't be spending all of your time studying even if you went back to school full time." He promised before glancing at his watch. "Will you be right alone for an hour?" he asked.

"Carlisle, I'm twenty-two not two." I replied. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

"I know you are but I also know how much of a danger magnet you are my dear." He murmured, standing to leave. I glared up at him but he just chuckled and kissed my temple. "I won't be long." He whispered against my skin.

After I finished eating I quickly washed up before heading to the bathroom to run a bath. I was planning on having a shower but once I began to realise how much my muscles ached I decided a bath was a more sensible idea.

I rummaged around in my bag for some clothes and sighed in defeat as I did so. Thanks Alice, I'm going to freeze.

I sank into the warm bath water and closed my eyes; it felt wonderful. The bath was so big as well, which was odd for such a small cottage. After I had taken my time to relax and bathe I got out wrapping the huge fluffy white towel around me tightly before emptying the bath and returning to the bedroom to get dressed.

I dried myself humming and singing as I did. I didn't want to bring myself to quite believe that Carlisle meant what he said when he said he wanted to marry me but I knew he loved me and even if the rest of his words turned out to be a declaration in the heat of the moment, although I would be a little disappointed I would still know he loves me.

I pulled on the underwear, followed by the denim shorts and then the huge blue sweater that hung off of my shoulders before sitting on the bed and plugging the hair dryer in. Was it possible to go from being so miserable and so lost to so incredibly happy? I thought my life was pretty much over months ago when I was visiting Flavour.

I had just assumed that eventually one of them would turn me or kill me. I was all right with it; I had come to terms with it. I hadn't been living, I had been existing. Carlisle had done more for me than he could ever know. Seeing Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett had been a welcome surprise too. I felt awful for how I behaved to Carlisle that first day I saw him again, being so bitter and rude when he had never been anything but polite to me. He may well have left with the entire family but he wasn't the one who said the hurtful things to me that Edward did. Perhaps Carlisle could have done something instead of leaving but everyone makes mistakes...I've made enough of them myself.

I started to run a comb through my hair as I dried it, hoping it would be somewhat controllable when I was done with it. I wondered when Carlisle would dye his hair back to his natural colour...surely he couldn't leave it to grow out if vampire's hair grows so slowly. As hot as he looked with dark hair, it just wasn't quite him. I missed the blonde sometimes.

Carlisle POV

It took all of my strength to leave that bed this morning; I could have watched her for hours. Holding Bella in my arms like that while she slept was almost a human moment for me; I was a little sorry that I would never be able to fall asleep next to her.

Still, when Bella began to stir I knew she would be hungry so I left the bed to make her some breakfast. I knew I had better hunt again today to be sure I was firmly in control. I had only hunted yesterday but after last night's events it would be safer to make sure my thirst was not going to be a problem if we were to repeat our actions again tonight.

I fought the shiver of desire at that thought, my mind drifting away from my prey and instead picturing Bella standing in the kitchen doorway, still sleepy wearing my shirt. I growled to myself, I had better make this hunt a very quick one. I need to be close to Bella.

I quickly darted through the trees to my right when I caught the earthy scent of a deer nearby. Upon spotting it, it took only two of the poor doe's heartbeats before its hot blood filled my mouth. I drained the animal quickly and dropped the carcass to the ground. One more I think, that will be plenty...

My phone started to vibrate in my pocket, thankfully it was on silent for my hunt or anything worth feeding off of within hearing distance would have made a run for it. I pulled my phone from my pocket and answered it seeing Alice's number. I made sure to speak lowly knowing that she would still hear me.

"Alice." I answered.

"Carlisle, something is wrong." Alice said quickly.

"Is Bella alright?" was my first question.

"Yes but...I've seen something strange." She replied nervously.

Bella POV

I put my hair dryer down and started to pull my brush through my curls. I wasn't cold yet at least, but seriously...denim shorts in England... I glanced out of the window, it wasn't raining, and it wasn't too cold I supposed but it certainly wasn't warm either.

I went to find my book from last night from the living room before lying across the couch and getting myself comfortable. Hopefully Carlisle should be back any moment; all I could think about was last night. I didn't feel sore now; I just had a few small bruises littering my body where his hands had gripped me.

I tried to get the heated thoughts out of my mind and focus on my book. That was until I felt a cold breeze that brought goose bumps to my legs. I glanced up but the windows were all shut as was the door, maybe it was just because the cottage was so old...stupid English climate.

"Bella." A voice called softly. My ears picked up and I sat bolt upright. That wasn't Carlisle's voice.

"Hello?" I answered nervously, looking around the room. Finally my eyes rested on a figure standing to my left. My breath caught in my throat and my heart pounded. It wasn't possible...how did he find me?

"Hello Bella." He said quietly.

"Edward..." I croaked. "What are you doing here?"

"Actually I was planning on staying in the house here for a while and then I came across everyone's scents and realise my family was here." He explained, "I caught your scent from the moment I reached the driveway...I didn't want this for you Bella."

"Didn't want what for me exactly?" I asked.

"I wanted you as far away from my family for a reason." He replied coldly. "It's too dangerous for you Bella, they know that...they just decided to wait until I left and go back for you anyway."

"No one came back for me Edward." I whispered sadly.

"You don't need to lie for them Bella, I knew they wanted to. I heard it in their thoughts; saw it in Alice's visions people changing their minds, going back for you."

"I'm not lying; no one came back for me." I said again, firmer this time. I was finding my voice at last. "Every day, I wished that just one of you would but no one ever did. Finding them again was an accident."

"I doubt that, Alice's vision of you being one of us never vanished you know?" he smiled sadly, sitting next to me on the couch. "She said that maybe it was just fate, I was sure it was because she had planned out how to meet you again one day."

"Edward, Alice didn't find me, Carlisle did. I ended up in the emergency room and there he was, there was no planning involved. Do you think if there was some plan to all meet up behind your back I would have ended up in the complete mess that I did?"

"Bella what are you talking about?" he asked, then he winced suddenly and spun his head to the door. Carlisle stood in the doorway; I'd never seen Carlisle look angry before...even when he fought the other vampires back home I had not seen his face. "Stop." Edward croaked out, he looked like he was about to cry and I realised Carlisle was showing him something in his head. I actually wished that right now Edward could read my thoughts; I wanted him to see what his choices caused. The moment Carlisle stepped inside the doorway I was on my feet and running to him. "Carlisle, you know this is wrong. You're going to kill her."

"Would it have been safer to leave her to continue letting other vampires feed off of her?" Carlisle deadpanned. "Perhaps wait for one of them to kill her or at best change her and have her turn into one of them? Is that what you wanted? What about the Volturi? Edward you brought her into this world, it's too late to protect her from it."

"I don't need protecting from it." I interrupted, turning to look at Carlisle. "I'm perfectly happy with you guys."

"I know you are." He replied.

"Bella you have to know I left because I loved you, I was trying to protect you." Edward said, taking my hand in his and tugging me away from Carlisle. Big mistake.

Author's Notes: Well there you go, Edward has made his appearance and voiced his opinion and the shit is about to hit the fan!


	18. Chapter 18: Games

Author's Notes: Of course, only I would not update in ages and then bang out two chapters in quick succession. Thanks for all of you who have reviewed, I really appreciate every one of them. Everyone give a big thanks to my beta JenJenSon who deserves a big virtual hug and some internet chocolate for her help. Without further ado, chapter 18. x

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters, and I make no money from this story whatsoever!

I'm Just Addicted

Games

Carlisle POV

"Bella you have to know I left because I loved you, I was trying to protect you." Edward said, pulling Bella away from me. I don't care if he is my son; he had no right to just decide he still loved her and take her from me. Before I knew it I had Edward pinned to the opposite wall by his throat.

"Carlisle!" I heard Bella's voice call out behind me. I stopped mid snarl but didn't let Edward go. "Carlisle, don't hurt him. You'll regret it forever if you do." I felt Bella's warm hand on my arm and I slowly released my grip on Edward's throat.

"I knew you still cared about me." Edward said softly, looking at Bella. Immediately my grip was back on his throat. Edward looked at me in surprise. "Not possible, she's still human." Bella was trying to wriggle her way between us to look at me and I slowly let go of Edward again as she worked her way into my arms.

"Ssshh...Carlisle, calm down." Bella's voice soothed, her hands slowly running across my chest, my neck, my face. "I'm yours, you know I'm yours." The monster inside me seemed to calm at her words. I pulled my arms tightly around her and nuzzled her hair.

"My Bella." I murmured into her hair, taking in her scent.

"It's not possible." Edward said quietly.

"What, not possible for me to be good enough? For someone to love me?" Bella shouted at him. "Stop sticking your foot in it and just be quiet for a minute!"

"No Bella, that wasn't-"

"I don't want to talk to you right now!" Bella cut him off.

"He meant the bond that we have." I told her softly, stroking her cheek. "I didn't believe it myself to begin with, but I've never been more grateful for it."

"Alright, now that that's cleared up is everyone ready to talk about it without violence?" Alice's voice chimed from the front door. We all turned to find the other all gathered in the doorway.

"You didn't feel like coming to prevent this little disaster from happening then?" Bella asked her.

"I think that seeing Carlisle react that way was probably the only way for Edward to believe that you're actually Carlisle's soul mate not his." Alice replied.

"That doesn't make it right." Edward commented.

"Edward, its fate." Alice told him softly, standing by his side. "This was always meant to happen. Your soul mate is out there waiting for you."

"I don't care. Changing her is wrong Carlisle and you know it!" Edward snapped.

"It's my choice!" Bella shouted at him, shoving at his chest but obviously he didn't even flinch. "You don't get to decide my life!"

"She's right bro, it's her call." Emmett shrugged, dropping his arm around Rosalie's shoulders.

"I don't necessarily agree that changing Bella is a good idea but I do agree that since you left her in the middle of the woods and told her you didn't want her it's none of your business either way." Rosalie added.

"And I'd rather have Bella as one of us than lose her as a human." Alice agreed. It was an unexpected family vote but it certainly got the point across.

"Don't do it Carlisle." Edward pleaded.

"If it is what she wants...I can't deny her anything she wants." I replied.

Edward said nothing; he just turned and left without a word. Emmett moved to stop him but Jasper shook his head for Emmett to let him go.

"He'll come around." Alice said sadly. "It might just take a while."

"Thanks everyone." Bella whispered, I could feel her shaking a little and knew she was crying. I hugged her to me and she cried harder.

"Bella, are you...crying because you're happy?" Jasper asked suddenly, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. Bella just nodded against my chest and everyone laughed.

"Carlisle, can I..." Emmett asked, gesturing to Bella.

"I'm in control." I replied, quiet enough that Bella wouldn't hear me but the others would. I had to admit it was embarrassing for me to have lost control like I did. I loosened my grip on Bella and Emmett pulled her into a huge bear hug.

"I love you guys so much." Bella cried, even though a smile was on her face. Everyone laughed harder at this as Emmett lifted Bella onto his shoulders.

"Bella you are one strange human." He said. "I think we should all go to the main house for a game of twister!"

"No." I replied automatically. I saw the bruises on Bella's wrists and doubted very much that she was up to a physical game today. "How about you try something less physical today, I'm sure Alice has plenty of ideas."

"Of course I do, twister was actually one of them but I also had Mouse Trap, Guess Who, Monopoly and Bingo." She replied as we all headed out of the cottage to the main house, Bella being carried on Emmett's shoulders.

Bella POV

Could I have asked for a better family? As Emmett shouted "Bella bomb!" and practically threw me onto the large couch I decided no, I most definitely couldn't.

"Please be careful Emmett." Carlisle chided calmly. "Let's not completely forget that Bella is human."

"I'm fine." I giggled from the couch, leaning up to see Alice parading into the room with the games. Jasper followed her in with a plate that he handed to me. I looked at the pasta salad in surprise. "Thanks Jasper, I completely forgot it was lunchtime."

"I can't really take any credit for it." Jasper grinned. "Emmett made it this morning."

"What's in it?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes at Emmett who just roared with laughter at me. "What?"

"Nothing's wrong with it Bella." He choked out between laughs. "I swear, but it's very funny that you assume there is."

"Because everything you do is a prank of some sort." I muttered.

"It's safe Bella, I promise." Rosalie said. "I watched him make it."

"Emmett..." I cooed. "That's so sweet." I was pretty sure that if he could blush he would be as he shyly scratched the back of his head and then focused his attention on setting up the board games.

"Alright who's playing?" Jasper asked, gesturing to the board in front of them.

"I'll sit this one out because I'm eating." I said.

"Then I will sit with Bella and supervise for this one." Carlisle said, taking a seat next to me on the couch. "I know how much you all cheat."

"I don't know what you're saying." Alice said feigning hurt.

"Emmett, this is actually really good." I commented, stuffing another forkful of pasta into my mouth. He just shrugged in response and rolled the dice. They were playing Mouse Trap.

Once that game had finished Emmett announced that he had a great game. So he had Jasper, Alice and I stand on chairs before passing us a bowl of water and a pole each and after some manoeuvring he had us standing holding and bowl of water pressed against the ceiling with the pole so that we could then get off of the chairs and hold the bowls up with the pole. At which point I began to see a definite disadvantage for me.

"This is hardly fair." I muttered, eventually succeeding in climbing safely off of the chair and holding the bowl up thanks to the pole. Jasper did the same fairly quickly but Alice soon noticed a problem.

"Emmett, this isn't fair I can't reach the floor!" she protested. She tried anyway and unfortunately she was indeed too short and couldn't pin the bowl against the ceiling properly, for a moment the bowl appeared to balance on the pole much like the spinning plates circus trick but then it fell covering her from head to toe in water.

"I have a feeling that this isn't actually a fun game." I mumbled as Alice wailed about her ruined silk shoes.

"Of course not, not for Alice anyway." Emmett laughed. Just then my arms started to ache and I knew it would only be moments before I became soaked also. Sure enough my grip slipped and then cold water hit me. Fortunately most of the water missed me and Jasper leant over to catch the bowl with his spare hand before it landed on my head. Just then Alice screamed really loud and Emmett laughed so hard he collapsed to the floor.

"Ah man what did you do?" Jasper asked, carefully lowering his bowl from the ceiling and catching it before it got water everywhere.

"I might have put eggs in her shoes." He grinned.

"She is going to kill you." Jasper said bluntly. Moments later Alice appeared holding up a pair of shoes, which she had obviously gone to change into, inside each shoe were the remains of an egg. It was obvious that Emmett had placed a whole egg in each shoe and once Alice put her feet into them she had broken the eggshell ruining a second pair of shoes for the day. She wasn't happy and she came into the room hurling bits of raw egg straight at Emmett.

"Emmett! How dare you ruin my shoes! What did I tell you about my shoes and my clothes?" Alice hissed at him.

"Alright, sorry!" Emmett laughed, putting his hands up in defeat. "Now I'm just a disgusting as those shoes, are you happy?" He headed upstairs to shower and it was then that Alice winked at us.

"Payback." She grinned. Carlisle sighed and dropped his head back on the couch.

"Here we go again." He sighed.

"What are you going to do?" I asked. Alice dug around for her phone and before I knew it I had a text message from her.

'I'm going to steal his clothes'

I raised an eyebrow and showed Rosalie who grinned widely and then my phone flashed again.

'All of them'

Sure enough a few moments later Rosalie and Alice were carrying all of Emmett's clothes from his closet and hiding them outside. Then Rosalie snuck into the bathroom and took the clothes he had taken with him and the towels.

Then we waited.

"Alice!" Emmett's voice suddenly boomed from upstairs. "Not funny!"

"Neither are you!" Alice retorted.

Emmett came downstairs in a pink fluffy bathrobe a few moments later. I couldn't help it, I laughed uncontrollably, and even Carlisle was trying hard not to laugh at the sight of big manly Emmett in a pink fluffy bathrobe.

"You better not stretch that or rip it or make it dirty." Rosalie told him.

"Where are all my clothes?" Emmett demanded.

"Go find them yourself." Alice grinned.

"Fine, I'm going to find your clothes." Emmett grinned back. "How many pairs of shoes can you stand to lose Alice?"

"No! They're in the shed!" Alice burst out.

"Hey Emmett?" I called, he turned and I quickly snapped a picture on my phone before hitting send to all and sending the picture to the whole family to use for teasing in future.

"Laugh while you can Bella." Emmett smiled threateningly. "You're next."

By late that afternoon we were all drinking, of course they were drinking a significant amount more than me to have an effect but eventually we all hit the happy drunk phase. This was when Alice decided that we should play spin the bottle. Emmett suggested strip poker but everyone decided they'd prefer a childish game of spin the bottle to stripping.

"I'm not convinced I want to play this." Carlisle murmured. "You know how I feel about playing games with you."

"You're just afraid you won't be as good a kisser as me." Emmett grinned.

"No I was actually more worried about kissing you." Carlisle replied coolly.

"I don't want to kiss Emmett either, he probably still smells of egg." I commented.

"Just sit down you two!" Rosalie said rolling her eyes.

It was actually a pretty harmless game because when anybody who didn't really want to kiss had to kiss it really was just a peck. For example Rosalie and Jasper were the first to kiss. Rosalie grabbed Jasper's face in her hands and placed a big "mwah" kind of kiss on his lips. It was more comical than anything. Jasper got Alice, Alice got Carlisle and Carlisle got me. Then I got Rosalie. Rosalie smirked and placed a slow suggestive kiss against my lips. Carlisle raised an eyebrow at this but Emmett seemed the most affected. By the time Rosalie got Emmett on her next spin the game was over because Emmett had her pinned to the floor.

"I should have remembered that's how this game always ends." Alice said rolling her eyes. "Let's place something else."

I had moved to lean against Carlisle; it was like gravity pulled me to him no matter where I was. I felt safer, more comfortable when he was close. He tucked me under his arm and placed a gentle trail of kisses across the side of my face and temple.

"Did you want some dinner?" he asked me.

"Does that involve anything it shouldn't?" I grinned. He looked at me seriously for a moment and then pulled me into a kiss. I most definitely planned on getting some more alone time with Carlisle tonight. In fact, every night sounded good to me.

Author's Notes: Another short one I know. Sorry but I find it easier to get the update done and up if they're shorter. What prank is Emmett going to get Bella back with?


	19. Chapter 19: War

Author's Notes: Well here's another one! I may as well bang these out while I'm in the writing mood. Thanks to those of you that have reviewed, encouragement really gets my fingers typing. Big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for getting these chapters beta'd and back to me so quickly as she always does. I hope you all enjoy x

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters, and I make no money from this story whatsoever!

I'm Just Addicted

War

Bella POV

Carlisle and I had been swapping between our room in the house and our cottage depending what mood we were in. If we wanted peace and quiet we stayed at the cottage and if we wanted to enjoy the others company we stayed at the house. We had stayed at the house last night and I was just getting up to shower now while Carlisle was out hunting.

I loved the shower in the house, the cottage was lovely and had all original features, the house whilst lovely and old fashioned had had a bit of a facelift the moment Alice got here. The shower was a nice powerful shower, all I had to do was set the temperature and hit the button and on it came. If I wanted the other jets on there was a knob to turn it from shower to jet shower. It was amazing. So after grabbing my towel I hopped into the shower cubical and hit the button.

It took me about three seconds to scream.

Blood covered me, coming from the showerhead above and circling the drain by my feet. I leapt out of the shower as fast as possible and wrapped my towel around me just as Rosalie burst into the bathroom.

She looked at me and then the redish pink water now leaving the shower cubical and looked at me reassuringly.

"It's not blood." She told me. "It's something chemical...I'm pretty sure you can blame Emmett for it."

"Emmett!" I screamed as loud as I could. Instantly he was in the room closely followed by Alice and Jasper. "That's so not funny you scared the shit out of me!" Emmett couldn't stop laughing and the others were trying very hard not to join him.

"It was just a prank Bella, its fake." Emmett said, as if that made it perfectly fine to make me think I was showering in blood. "I thought it was a fitting joke."

"You Emmett are going to get your comeuppance one day." I told him, pointing at his chest and narrowing my eyes. "One day very soon."

"Oooo scary Bella." He grinned.

"What _is_ going on in here?" Carlisle's voice called from behind the others. "Would any of you care to explain why you all felt the need to join Bella in the bathroom?" He stepped past the group of sniggering vampires and as soon as he saw me he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in a very Edward style gesture. "Are you hurt?"

"No it's fake." I replied.

"I know that, Bella." He chuckled. "I meant did you slip when you vacated the shower in a hurry?"

"Oh, I'm fine." I replied blushing. It had suddenly dawned on me that my whole family was staring at me in only a towel.

"I think Bella would like us to leave now." Jasper laughed.

"Don't worry, after a few decades we've all seen each other in less at one time or another." Alice smiled as Jasper tugged her away.

"Come on you big lug!" Rosalie said, shoving Emmett out of the door also. Once we were alone Carlisle said the most inviting words I had ever heard.

"Did you want a hand?"

I dropped my now red stained towel to the ground as he pulled me into his arms and kicked the door shut in one skilled movement. His lips crashed down on mine as he slowly manoeuvred us towards the shower cubicle losing his own clothes on the way, I was pretty certain that I ripped the buttons on another of his shirts in the process. After checking that sure enough the last of Emmett's fake blood had been washed down the drain and the water was running out clean Carlisle pulled me under the water with him.

He slowed our frantic kiss, much to my disappointment to begin soaping my body all over, running his cool hands across every inch of my skin that he could reach. He proceeded to rinse the soap off before pulling me flush against his body. I felt him press hard against my stomach and leant up to press my lips back to his.

"You're warm." I mumbled against his lips, revelling in the unusual feeling of having a warm body pressed against mine.

"I love you." He murmured back, his hands lifting me easily against the wall. I opened my mouth to reply but was cut off as he slid into me; the whole length of him filling me in one smooth movement stole my breath completely. He began to thrust slowly and I heard a loud groan slip past my lips before I could stop it. Then with a growl his lips were on mine again, his tongue tangling with mine as I moaned into his mouth at the sensations he was causing. Holding me up with just one hand, his other hand was free to roam my body. It was so different feeling him warm inside me, warm against me, warm hands running along my skin.

"I love you." I finally managed to croak out as his lips travelled down my neck. "Ca-Carlisle..." I moaned as my pleasure reached its peak sending waves of it all the way to my toes curled around his back. Then I felt him beginning to shudder against me, his movements become a little move erratic before he groaned his own release and I felt the coldness of him inside me.

We stayed like that for a moment, me panting quietly trying to come down from my high. Now I needed rinsing off again...

It hadn't take me long to plan out my revenge on Emmett. I had needed Rosalie's help and Carlisle had told me it was a completely ridiculous idea that would only provoke him to respond but I just couldn't help it.

I needed to get him back.

So while Emmett and Jasper were hunting Rosalie and I were sabotaging his and Rosalie's shower. Rosalie carefully removed the showerhead and passed it to me. I dried it out quickly and placed inside an oxo cube. **(AN:I don't know what you call stock cubes in the states or if they're just called the same thing so sorry about that). **Rosalie quickly replaced the head and then we moved to the towel rail. Rosalie held up Emmett's blue towel as I carefully sprinkled on the powdered blue food dye.

"It doesn't even smell much because it's all dried stuff." Rosalie assured me. "He won't know until he smells like chicken gravy!"

"Brilliant." I grinned.

The hardest part was not bursting into uncontrollable laughter when Emmett came in from his hunt. Although since he was a mess he might have thought I was laughing at his messed up clothes.

"What are you finding so amusing over there darlin'?" Jasper asked, following him in. Rosalie and Alice also stifled a laugh until we heard Emmett shout.

"That." I grinned.

"This I have to see." Jasper smirked just as Emmett shouted again.

When we all reached Rosalie and Emmett's bathroom, me last of course because they all ran Emmett was blue. Well patches of him were blue anyway, his face, hands and front were blue and he reached to wrap Rosalie's towel around his waist as I got there, I assumed it was for my modesty's sake.

"You look like a smurf!" Alice giggled. "Bella you are brilliant!"

Emmett has obviously leapt out of the gravy-smelling shower and grabbed his towel to first wipe it from his face and then begin wiping himself before noticing the blue now staining his skin. The whole room smelt like chicken dinner.

"I smell like human food!" Emmett shouted indignantly.

"You smell gross." Rosalie laughed.

"He smells pretty tasty to me." I grinned staring at his blue face.

"I'm blue! Bella you got me twice." He told me threateningly. "Don't think I won't get you back for it. This is war."

It was only an hour later when Carlisle got home from work.

"What's for dinner dear?" he asked me, coming into the kitchen. He looked around slightly confused.

"Emmett." I grinned. "He's showered three times and he still smells like gravy and he's still blue."

"Bella, getting involved with Emmett's pranks is a really bad idea." He sighed.

"I can't actually smell the gravy anymore but apparently you guys can." I noted, ignoring the fact that he thought it was a bad idea.

"I have a present for you." Carlisle said, sitting opposite me at the table.

"What did I tell you about presents? I don't need anything, what else could I possibly need that I don't have?" I protested.

"I believe this one is allowed." He answered cryptically, placing a wrapped box on the table and sliding it over to me.

I eyed the box suspiciously for a moment before lifting it and pulling off the silver paper. I glanced nervously up at Carlisle as I lifted the small leather box from the paper.

"If it's still want you want." He said softly as I opened the box. Inside sat a white gold ring with a single stone held in place by four tiny prongs. Simple, beautiful... I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I was speechless. Carlisle Cullen had just given me an engagement ring. It had only been around six months since he came back into my life and yet I was certain with every single part of me that I could happily spend forever with him. "I would have got down on one knee but someone once told me that they didn't want it to be a big deal."

"No, it's perfect." I replied quickly. He reached across the table and lifted the ring from the box, gesturing for me to hold my hand out he then slid it onto my finger until it rested there comfortably.

"Finally!" a voice cried out from the kitchen doorway. "I've been waiting for you to give her that for two days!"

"I apologise for keeping you waiting." Carlisle told her. "I believe I would like to steal my wife to be for the night now."

"What?" Alice protested. "Everyone's been waiting to congratulate you." She pouted and Carlisle looked at me questioningly.

"Alright Alice, you have until eight and then I'm all his." I told her. Alice leapt in the air before reaching forward and dragging me after her into the living room. Emmett snatched me from her and spun me around in a huge bear hug.

"Welcome to the family Bella, officially." He boomed. "But don't think I've forgiven you just yet little sis!"

"Hey, I want a turn!" Jasper called, pulling me from Emmett.

"Guys don't break her, she's not a toy!" Rosalie scolded, snatching me from them.

"I beg to differ on that point." Carlisle's voice said. Everyone turned to stare at him in shock and it took him a moment to realise exactly what he had said. "My apologies, I don't believe I meant to say that aloud." Everyone broke into hysterics at his discomfort.

"Way to go dad!" Emmett whistled to him. "Never knew you had it in ya."

"If you start calling me mum I will get him to change me just so I can kick your ass." I told Emmett in a deadly serious voice.

"Speaking of..." Alice said awkwardly. "Did you want me to say anything to Esme next time she calls?"

"Whatever you think is best." Carlisle told her. "We're all adults here, she's happy and I'm happy. I don't see any problems."

"Is anyone forgetting the big problem that is Edward?" Rosalie sniggered.

"Rosalie." Carlisle chided. "He'll come around."

"Especially once he meets his own soul mate." Alice beamed. "I've seen her Carlisle, it's very exciting."

"I'm glad." He said sincerely.

"Now aren't you glad Esme left you?" Emmett asked. Everyone winced at Emmett's complete lack of tact.

"I wouldn't say that glad is the right word Emmett." Jasper said, elbowing Emmett in the stomach.

"It doesn't matter what happened or didn't happen Bella was meant for Carlisle and Esme was meant for Kale. One of them may have been the first one to leave but they both found what they were looking for." Alice said firmly.

"Exactly." Carlisle agreed, tugging me back to his side. "I've never blamed Esme, she had no control over the situation."

"Aren't we supposed to be celebrating?" Rosalie asked. We all laughed and then once again the room was full of hugs.

Author's Notes: I wanted to end on a warm fuzzy! Stay tuned of course for more. x


	20. Chapter 20: Instinct

Author's Notes: Well here's another one! I may as well bang these out while I'm in the writing mood. Thanks to those of you that have reviewed, encouragement really gets my fingers typing. Big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for getting these chapters beta'd and back to me so quickly as she always does. I hope you all enjoy x

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters, and I make no money from this story whatsoever!

I'm Just Addicted

Instinct

Bella POV

After Alice was satisfied that we were suitably congratulated we headed to the cottage.

I gasped as Carlisle came to an abrupt halt at the cottage door and slowly lowered me to my feet and opened the door, which I then stumbled through. I frowned when I could hear him chuckling behind me.

"Well if you hadn't run here and made me feel all dizzy I wouldn't have tripped." I said defiantly, folding my arms across my chest and marched into the kitchen to get a drink.

"You know you aren't truly mad at me Isabella." Carlisle called from where I left him in the living room.

"I can be mad at you if I want." I replied firmly. Moments later Carlisle was in front of me taking my glass from my hand. I stepped back from him to glare up at him but I doubted that my glare looked very convincing. He took a step forward and I subconsciously took a step backwards, I felt slightly nervous under his gaze. He looked amused but possessive and challenging.

"Isabella..." he beckoned seductively, as he continued to move forward until I was backed up against the counter with his body millimetres from mine. He lowered his face until I could feel his cool breath brush across my lips but stopping short. "Are you certain that you are mad at me?"

"I-I..Y-Yes." I stammered, for some reason I was torn between closing the gap between us or running. Was this something to do with vampires being predators? Carlisle must have seen the confusion on my face because he did something very unlike himself and smirked.

"You'd better run fast." He told me lowly. "I'm only giving you a minute head start."

"W-what?" I asked in disbelief, but one look in his dark eyes told me that he was deadly serious. He stepped back slightly and I darted away heading straight for the front door. I was terrified; I was excited. I knew Carlisle would never hurt me but I really hadn't the slightest clue what he was up to.

I made sure to run in zigzags around the trees to try and use my scent to my advantage. Thinking along those lines I scraped my hand against the bark of a tree and then another but in total I got no further than a hundred yards into the woods before Carlisle had me pinned between his hard body and a tree.

"Are you trying to drive me crazy?" he growled, eying my hand. He leant forward and inhaled deeply from my neck. I dared to meet his gaze and it finally hit me that this was Carlisle's reaction to having shared me all afternoon; this was almost a game of territory.

"Is it working?" I croaked out, placing my hands weakly on his chest. His gaze flickered to my hands and I wondered briefly if my blood was actually affecting him more than he let on. Daringly I lifted my grazed hand to stroke his face and sure enough a small growl slipped from his lips. "Go on then."

Tentatively his hand caught mine and guided my palm to his mouth as his licked softly at the grazed skin there. I heard a small whimper before I realised that it was me that had made the sound. There could have been hardly a drop of blood but he savoured it as if it was much more before sliding his free arm around my waist and pulling flush against him.

"You are truly the greatest gift I could have ever been given." He said quietly, pressing my hand to his cheek. Carlisle was Carlisle again. The flare of animalistic behaviour had gone again, leaving my compassionate and loving vampire himself.

I leant up and pressed my lips against his, enjoying the feel of his cool lips as they warmed in temperature against mine. His lips moved over mine in a gentle caress as my arms wound their way around his neck until my fingers toyed with his silky hair. When he pulled away I couldn't help but ask one of the questions I had thought about several times recently.

"Are you going to leave you hair like that?" although granted it came out sounding a little more crude than I had meant it to.

"Is that a problem?" he chuckled.

"No, I just got so used to the blonde...you're still gorgeous either way." I replied honestly.

"Well, Alice and Rosalie are helping me dye it back at the weekend, we were just waiting until we had the time for them to dye it properly." He explained.

"Yeah, you wouldn't want to get stuck with some kind of orange colour in between." I grinned.

"Quite." He frowned, and then he lifted me off of me feet and into his arms completely. "I believe it is time we put you to bed."

"Please." I murmured to myself forgetting that he would obviously hear. He said nothing though and I had the grace to look at least a little embarrassed.

Carlisle ran a bath when we got in; apparently he ran it extra hot so he got in first. Once he had been in the water for a few moments he beckoned me in with him. Fortunately Carlisle's cold body had soaked up some of the heat leaving the water just right.

"You are so beautiful." He told me, kissing my shoulders.

"You're not so bad yourself mister built-like-Greek-a-statue." I snorted, lying back against him. We lay there for some time before climbing out and drying off.

It wasn't long before we were both laid in the bed and I was curled up against him, burying my face in his still warm chest.

"I feel like I need to explain my actions today." Carlisle said quietly. "I feel like I should apologise."

"No apologies." I replied firmly.

"Fine, no apologies but Bella, sometimes I may lose control of myself like earlier. I want you to be certain what you are getting into." He continued.

"I don't care."

"Bella, our kind get possessive, especially males. I would under normal circumstances never display such ungentlemanly behaviour and I do not wish to demean you in any way."

"Carlisle, I don't care." I interrupted, pressing my fingers to his lips. "I love you, I want to know all of you and I want you to feel comfortable being yourself. If that was what you call demeaning me then by all means please...demean me, take me I'm yours. I could never want anything as much as I want you."

I felt him run his hands down the soft curves of my body, one hand sliding under my shirt, resting on the small of my back soothingly.

"What did I do to deserve you?" he murmured into my hair.

"I did have one question, how come you willingly tasted my blood after being so determined not to?" I asked. "And why did it seem to calm you down not cause you to bite me?"

"To be honest I'm not entirely certain why it seemed to calm my behaviour, I can only guess that it has something to do with you offering yourself to me, your very lifeforce." He said thoughtfully. "and no matter how determined I have been not to, I have had the urge to taste your blood for some time now. There are certain instincts that become very hard to ignore when the mating process is new and my control is the only thing that stops me from giving into them. When my behaviour shifts it makes it hard to focus on control."

"Carlisle...I don't want you to have to fight who you are all the time." I said quietly. "I want you to be able to relax and be yourself, nothing you could do would make me love you less. If you want my blood, take it."

"Bella, it would be unwise for me to take your blood. You recently held somewhat of an addiction to pain I do not wish to ruin the hard work you have gone through to recover." He explained. "A lot of the urges that vampires can have when mating could be not just painful but dangerous for you as a human."

"I'm not going to be human forever." I replied, placing a kiss on the smooth skin of his chest.

Carlisle POV

I watched as Alice bounced around Bella at the kitchen table pointing to different pages on numerous magazines. Bella was trying to eat her lunch and looked less than enthused.

"Come on Bella, you have to make some decisions here!" Alice whined. "What colour theme do you want?"

"I don't mind." Bella replied blandly.

"Fine what about the after party?"

"Alice my list of friends and family it hardly huge I doubt I'll need one." She snorted.

"Nonsense." Alice said sounding completely appalled. "What about your dress? All brides are excited about picking their dress."

"I don't mind." Bella shrugged again. Alice huffed and looked at me for assistance but I offered her none.

"I don't think Bella is a fan of your big wedding plans Alice." I told her.

"Well what is the point of getting married if you're not going to have a perfect wedding?" she frowned.

"Exactly." Bella said suddenly standing up and taking her plate to the sink. "The point of getting married is not the dress or the colour scheme it's the actual getting married bit."

"It is?" Rosalie grinned.

"I'm fairly certain that has been the purpose of getting married for some centuries now." I replied with a small smile.

"But the wedding is still important." Alice huffed.

"Not to me." Bella shrugged. "As nice as some of the other stuff is...I'd much rather just have a small wedding and then come home without a huge celebration. It doesn't have to be a big deal."

"What is it that you have against weddings?" Alice asked suspiciously. I saw Bella open her mouth to respond but then it snapped shut again, which made me wonder if there was a little more to it than she and I had discussed previously.

"Could you give us a minute?" I asked Alice. I waited until Alice and Rosalie had left the room before going to Bella and sliding my arms around her waist. "Is there something you want to tell me Bella?"

"Why?" she asked.

"So there is something on your mind." I confirmed, turning her to face me. "If you want to back out of this all you need to do is say so...but I don't think that's what you want."

"No, I haven't changed my mind." She replied, "Of course I haven't changed my mind! It's just..." I just stayed silent, carefully studying her face as she debated her next words. "I just don't like big weddings. I don't like it that people seem to think that somehow if they have a huge, fancy, perfect fairytale wedding that it will mean their marriage will be better or something."

"Bella, whilst some people may think like that there are plenty that do not." I assured her. "You're parents, did they-"

"The whole of my dad's life savings down the drain." She replied quietly. "He gave my mum the wedding she'd always dreamed of but it didn't make them any happier together."

"Bella, we're going to do this wedding how we feel comfortable and I can tell Alice to back right off if you want me to but...it does make her happy to do these things so maybe you should set her some boundaries and let her do her thing if you really don't mind either way?" I suggested.

"That makes sense I guess..." she nodded.

"I'm not saying that you have to Bella, it was only a suggestion." I told her. "But you should have the dress you want, the flowers you want, the place you want."

"I don't really mind about the dress or flowers or...actually I hadn't really thought about the where yet." She admitted. "Where did you want to get married? Where are we even going to live? Are we staying here or moving elsewhere?"

"Alright Bella, slow down." I grinned. "We can stay here or move somewhere else whenever we're ready. We could go back to the states when Alice tells us it's safe or we could go-"

"Actually it's been safe since a few days after you left." Alice's voice piped up as she skipped back into the room. I looked up at her in surprise. "I just didn't say anything because I was busy enjoying being a family again. Just imagine if one day we could all get along and live together, we'd need a castle or something to fit us all in!"

"Alice you're a genius!" Bella suddenly grinned, crossing the room and hugging her as tight as her human strength would allow.

"Yes! Bella that's perfect!" Alice cried out excitedly, having obviously seen something.

"What about getting married at a castle?" Bella suggested, a brilliant smile on her face. "Not like a massive modern mansion thing but an old castle ruin. We're in England; there are plenty of castle ruins around right?"

"I can think of a few." I nodded, to be honest I was more thrilled by the sheer excitement on Bella's face than the wedding planning. "It sounds like a wonderful idea."

"It's perfect." Alice nodded. "Finally we have a starting point!"

Author's Notes: Stay tuned for more! I've got lots of exciting stuff planned and a few spanners to throw in the works as well.


	21. Chapter 21: Bite

Author's Notes: Sorry guys, I know it's been a little while but still here it is! I can't wait for you all to find out what's going to happen in the next few chapters I'm very excited about writing them! A big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for all her help as always. Also a few people have been asking about my other stories and why I haven't been updating them, the answer is purely that I don't have time at the moment. I won't bore you with all the excuses of everything that takes up my time but I stupidly started about five stories in one go and therefore spread my small amount of writing time too thin so I'm going to finish this one before continuing the others one at a time. Lastly if you haven't checked out the trailers for this story or any of my other stories please do check out the links on my profile page to my trailers on youtube.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters, and I make no money from this story whatsoever!

* I dedicate this chapter to JenJenSon due to her recent email saying Carlisle Bite Me! *

I'm Just Addicted

Bite

Bella POV

I could hear Emmett and Jasper playing computer games downstairs, the only other sound in the house while everyone else was hunting. Carlisle had been somewhat hesitant to leave me in the house with only male companions but Alice persuaded him that he couldn't spend the rest of our lives smothering me. So with some very stern warnings to the boys he had gone with Rosalie and Alice hunting. I had enjoyed a nice long lie in and then a nice shower before finally deciding to head downstairs.

I caught my toe somehow on the stairs and tumbled downwards landing with a force that knocked the wind out of me. I did however notice that I hadn't fallen far and it didn't hurt as much as it should have, not that I was complaining of course. I opened my eyes and found myself wrapped firmly in Jasper's arms.

"Thanks." I blushed as he carried me down the remaining stairs and placed me safely on my feet.

"What have I told you about trying to think while you walk Bella?" Emmett grinned from his game room doorway.

"Very funny." I replied, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Put that tongue back in your mouth or I'll make you use it." Emmett smirked. I tried to think of a smart reply but I was too stunned that he had had the nerve to say that. "Or you stand there like a flabbergasted fish."

"Wow Emmett, big word." Jasper teased.

"Are you going to let go of Bella anytime soon bro?" Emmett asked, immediately Jasper dropped his arms from my frame. "You know Carlisle's going to rip your arms off when he gets back right?"

"As opposed to him comin' back to her with broken bones from rolling down the stairs?" Jasper shrugged. "Not much I can do about it anyways."

"Why would he be mad at you for helping me?" I asked.

"Because..." Emmett started, walking over and sniffing at my shoulder. I stepped away from him eying him like he was insane, in my defence he had just sniffed me. "You smell like Jasper."

"Really?" I asked in surprise, trying to smell myself. "I can't smell anything." I leant forward to sniff Jasper, inhaling his sweet spicy scent and then sniffed at myself again, I couldn't smell anything.

"You wait until you're one of us." Jasper replied. "You'll wonder how you ever missed it."

"Oh." I nodded dumbly. "So should I go shower?"

"No way!" Emmett burst out loudly, "This is going to be much more fun!" He lifted me onto his back and carried my piggyback into the game room.

"If there's trouble when the others get home I'm blaming you Emmett." I told him.

"There won't be trouble Bella." Jasper assured me. "He'll be alright, he'll just be a bit protective of you and might take you back to his cave to mark his territory some more."

"Jas-per!" I whined.

"Alright I'm done now." He replied, holding up his hands. "Come on then Emmett, let's see your new game."

Emmett's new game was called 'Lips'; it was pretty much like doing karaoke only through the xbox instead of a karaoke machine and you get points for it. Emmett was actually useless at it, which thrilled me no end. I was OK at it and Jasper was amazing! With that southern voice singing like he was, even I found it sexy.

"We're home!" Alice's voice shouted some time later.

"We're in here!" Emmett shouted back. Carlisle, Rosalie and Alice entered the room to Jasper and I singing a duet of 'Bless this broken road'.

"Hey she's actually not bad." Rosalie commented, taking a seat next to Emmett. I stopped for Jasper's part and Carlisle quickly leant to kiss me.

"Isn't he just so hot when he sings..." Alice sighed, taking a seat on the other couch.

"Yeah." I replied.

"It's the accent." Rosalie added.

"Hey!" Emmett protested.

"No offence, but you're terrible!" Rosalie laughed.

"You really are." Alice confirmed.

"Like you're much better." Emmett pouted.

"No...I'm not much better actually." Alice frowned as Jasper put down his microphone and came over to greet her. "Rose is great, she's got a beautiful voice."

"Not like cowboy over there." Rosalie shrugged.

"You flatter me ladies." Jasper grinned, wrapping his arms around Alice.

This whole time I had failed to notice how Carlisle had begun to hold me tighter and tighter until Jasper's gaze snapped up to Carlisle behind me. We all followed his gaze in surprise to Carlisle's hard set expression. No one moved for a moment before I was shoved backwards and everyone else appeared the other side of the room keeping a generous distance from Carlisle and I.

"Mine." Was the only word that came from his lips, but I barely recognised it as Carlisle's voice. I must have stared at his back for a good few moments in shock before I managed to make a sound. The others were lowering their stance to him, trying to make him see that they weren't a threat.

"Carlisle..." I called to him; my voice caught in my throat and came out as a croak. "Come on, let's go." His face looked torn between a look of horror and that of the protective vampire side of him. I took a small step towards him, reaching out my hand to touch his arm; he was still partially facing the others in case they were a threat.

I felt him lift me and in a moment of blurred vision and stolen breath we were outside. He didn't put me down; every muscle in his body seemed tense. I raised my arms so I could touch his face. He reminded me of a jittery horse for a moment, his strong muscles twitching as I touched him.

The wind hit me as he took off again, I couldn't see much more than greens, browns and greys mixing together until I could feel my back pressing against something hard and the wind had stopped. We were inside and I was staring directly into black eyes. I had never seen Carlisle's eyes this dark, not even close, never more animalistic or feral. I rarely saw him as a vampire, not that I saw him as human either of course; I just saw Carlisle, the man no matter what he was.

I heard myself groan loudly as his lips crashed against mine with a little more force than was comfortable, once his tongue met with mine he eased up a little so as not to actually hurt me. I was going to be bruised tomorrow, my lips from the pressure of his, my skin from his iron grip on my thighs as he pinned me against the back of the door.

I could hear him panting even though he didn't need to breathe. Now I knew what Edward had meant when he said it was dangerous, Carlisle barely had control over any of his movements and every part of his normally compassionate and controlled self was focusing on not being so rough that he killed me...a vampire with any less control would have killed me in this situation. I could still see flickers of Carlisle's normal self in his eyes, struggling and fighting to get control.

"It's OK." I told him, as he tried to pull himself away. "You won't hurt me." He pulled me to him, backing into the bedroom and leading me with him. His possessive nature needed some kind of reassurance so I just followed his lead; let him decide.

"Lie down." He breathed in my ear, guiding me onto the bed. He leant over me and tugged my jeans down before raising my top above my head. Before long I was naked and his hands were everywhere, roaming my body, squeezing my soft flesh in his hard hands. I could hear myself whimpering under his attentions, I knew I was wriggling to allow him better access to my body but I didn't care. I reached up tug off his shirt, he helped and then his cold body was over me. His hands slid across my body again, this time they reached my centre. I moaned deep in my throat as his cool fingers slid easily inside. I flushed in embarrassment at the slickness there but he just leant down close to my ear and whispered to me. "mia cara what have you been thinking about?" He didn't move though, I felt myself trying to press against him in frustration. He just chucked and pulled his fingers from me. I didn't have time to whimper at the loss or plead with him to touch me before one hard movement had his cock buried deep inside of me. He began to thrust firmly in and out of me, not too fast but certainly hard enough that I could feel the force behind it. His lips found mine again before moving across my neck and shoulders, kissing and licking me as he went.

I felt him mumbling something against my skin but I couldn't hear it, it was too quiet for me to hear and I was too controlled by my own desire to focus on it. Then a sharp pain brought put a pause on the pleasure I was feeling and I cried out in pain. I realised that he had bitten me and panicked for a moment, was he going to change me now? He hadn't said anything, he hadn't asked if I was ready to- A loud moan rolled from my lips as I felt a slow erotic pull as he began to drink. The pain was gone now, drowned out by the pleasure of his lips and his hardness still pounding into me at an aggressive pace. I felt a tingling and tightening in my stomach before another tug at my neck pushed me over the edge and had me writhing in ecstasy under him. He released me collarbone from his mouth for a moment before gently sucking and licking around it.

I could feel the tension in his body and then he began to speed up, I was torn somewhere between pleasure and pain as his thrusts grew a little too forceful for my body to take and he let out a loud growling groan above me.

For a moment we stayed where we were, both panting, Carlisle's eyes still dark but he looked distinctly more himself. Then he looked scared and before I realised he had moved and was across the room.

"Bella..." he whispered, I practically heard the guilt in his voice.

"Don't apologise." I told him, sitting up slowly. "Come here."

"How can I not apologise Bella?" he asked, but he came closer anyway. "I let my instincts get the better of me and I put your safety at risk."

"and I let you." I told him firmly, reaching for his hand and tugging it. He humoured me and sat on the bed.

"Bella, physically you would not have been able to stop me." He said quietly.

"but I didn't need to, I told you I trust you." I insisted. His hand reached to my collarbone and I winced slightly before I could stop it. I saw him go to speak and cut him off. "No, I don't want to hear it. I don't care. I told you I trust you, nothing you do could make me love you less."

"Bella I saw your face earlier in the house, you were scared of me." He sighed, wrapping his arms around me.

"I wasn't scared for me; I was scared that you would hurt Jasper or Emmett." I explained. "I knew you wouldn't hurt me." As he kissed the bite-mark on my neck I smirked to myself a little and corrected. "Not much anyway."

"You are a dangerous temptation Bella." He murmured against my skin. "I am sorry I hurt you though."

"It wasn't that bad." I replied honestly, actually the initial bite had hurt a lot but as soon as he began to drink the pain was gone, it felt good. I felt heat rise to my cheeks, what was wrong with me? Surely I wasn't turning into a freak that got off on pain...

"Bella?" Carlisle enquired.

"Um...nothing..." I said a little flustered. "Just er...reliving the experience." I looked at him more seriously for a moment. "Why wasn't the venom a problem?"

"Because I wasn't thirsty." He replied. "I hunted this morning, I wasn't thirsty and I had no desire to change you. Although there was a little venom it was easily sucked back out of your blood. It will scar though...although part of me can't even be sorry for that."

"Carlisle Cullen! Are you seriously telling me that you are proud of this extreme hickey?" I chided.


	22. Chapter 22: History

Author's Notes: Well, I'm back again. I was actually hoping to get a chapter done every day over the weekend but things never seem to go as planned. Aw well, here you go anyway! A big thanks to JenJenSon for her help as always and she's just started her own Twilight fic, which is Bella/Emmett so you should all check it out. So without further waffling from me here you go!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters, and I make no money from this story whatsoever!

I'm Just Addicted

History

Carlisle POV

It was later than usual when I arrived home and found Bella in the library. She had been accepted to the university in Basingstoke town centre and was studying several sciences and mathematics. Things had been easier these past two weeks, seeing my mark on Bella's skin made it easier to keep my possessive needs in check. Now I had a long weekend and planned to take Bella to the castle that I think would be perfect for our wedding. Actually castle wasn't exactly accurate but I was fairly certain it would still have the effect that Bella had wanted.

"You look tired." I commented, closing Bella's book. She sighed and leant back in her chair to look up at me.

"That's probably because I am tired." She replied. "Emmett woke me up with a prank this morning."

"What did you do this time?" I asked her, this prank war had been going on far too long for my liking. Both Bella and Emmett were being incredibly stubborn about the whole thing.

"Me?" she protested. "He rigged a bucket of cold water to fall on me when I rolled over in bed! It was six in the morning!"

"Yes, but what did you do to get him back?" I asked.

"I haven't thought of anything yet." She pouted. "I'm running out of ideas."

"Thanks goodness."

"So Rosalie is going to help me tomorrow." She grinned. I dropped my head in frustration.

"Well I hope you have remembered that we will be leaving at around ten in the morning so that doesn't leave you much time to play Emmett's childish games." I told her.

"Would you rather I played childish games with you?" she asked. I smirked at her but said nothing, not until I get her back to our cottage of course. We had been at the cottage most nights between Bella constantly touching my now back to normal hair and therefore causing me to carry her off and my possessive streak also causing me to carry her off. To be honest I had thought about finding another property somewhere just for us that was close enough to see the others but further away. However to Bella the cottage was far enough away from the house because to her it was a good ten-minute walk unless one of us carried her.

Perhaps I could build another house all the way at the other end of the property...

"Are you coming with me?" Bella's voice chimed, she had stood and was heading to the door now.

"Of course." I replied. "I'll just say a quick 'hello' to everyone else and then I'll join you." I headed back downstairs to the others. I didn't reach them though before I heard Alice gasp loudly. She was seeing something, something important, good or bad. When I reached them she was clinging to Jasper's arm, her eyes still clouded over.

"They're coming." Alice said finally; then her face broke out into a smile. "Esme's coming to visit us."

"I assume then that you have informed her that we are here?" I enquired.

"Of course, I told her weeks ago!" Alice beamed. "She was thrilled that you were so happy and she's very eager to see Bella again."

"You are aware that Bella and I are going venue hunting this weekend."

"I know, but you aren't going to be gone all weekend. Only one day right?" Alice asked, I didn't reply. "Well Esme and Kale won't be arriving until Sunday so you'll be back by then and we'll have all Sunday and Monday to play big happy families."

"I was planning on spending this weekend with my future wife." I frowned. "Alone."

"Carlisle, you really are going to have to learn to share." Alice chided. "How are we all going to live to...gether..." Her face fell towards the end of the sentence as her eyes flashed again. "You aren't planning on us all living together are you?"

"What?" Emmett asked, suddenly taking interest in the conversation.

"Is that true?" Rosalie asked.

"I haven't decided anything for definite." I told them all. "I still want us all to be a family and be close but I need to have my...privacy with Bella as well. We all know that won't happen in one house."

"He has a point." Jasper nodded. "We've all had time to ourselves over the decades we've been a family, besides it might take a little while for Carlisle to stop wanting to rip our arms off for talking to his wife."

"But Jazz..." Alice pouted.

"I haven't asked Bella what she wants to do yet Alice. I go where she goes." I told them. "Nothing is certain."

Bella POV

I groaned to myself as I felt someone kissing my neck. I laughed as his breath tickled my skin and rubbed me eyes.

"Ah, good morning." Carlisle's voice called. I opened my eyes to find him leant over me, I felt my gaze drifting to his chest. "We have a venue to see."

"Sorry what?" I asked, blinking and turning my attention back to him. He leant down and pressed his lips to mine before climbing off of the bed.

"I'll expect you in the car in twenty minutes." He said, turning and leaving the room.

"Hey! You can't wake me up like that and then just leave me here!" I shouted after him. He didn't come back but I could hear his chuckle from the kitchen.

I huffed to myself before getting up and heading to the bathroom. I think twenty minutes was a bit ambitious to get me from in bed to the car; after all I did want breakfast at some point. I dried myself off and got dressed with only five minutes left.

"Now, I've got everything we need for the day in the car already so we're ready to leave." He informed me. "We'll stop for breakfast on the way."

"I didn't know you were this eager." I commented.

"I think you will really like this place." He said, opening the car door for me. "I am eager to see your reaction."

We set off around eight in the morning, Carlisle said even with his driving it would probably take an hour, after all we didn't want to get arrested on the way. We stopped halfway at the cafe and Carlisle, true to his promise, brought me breakfast. It was a surprisingly nice day for England; we had had very few nice days since we'd been here. Most of the time it had been cold and it rained probably as much as Forks. In fact the warmest it had been since I'd been here was about sixty degrees Fahrenheit, it's late November now and the weather was only going to get worse. The house keeper, Harriet was insisting that it was going to snow in the next few weeks. I suppose it might get everyone in the Christmas mood as it's going to be December next week.

"We timed this visit very well didn't we? This might be the last decent day for weather we get for months." I commented.

"It's not that bad." Carlisle replied, a small smile crossing his lips. "There are dry days in winter here and even some sunshine, it's just rather cold."

"No kidding, I'm freezing." I grinned, hugging myself.

"You should have said something sooner." He murmured, leaning forward to turn the car's heater on.

A short while later Carlisle gestured to a signpost, 'Glastonbury'. This didn't mean anything to me though.

"We're here?" I asked.

"Very nearly." He smiled. "The place I want to take you to is only minutes away."

He parked the car minutes later and we both got out, he took my hand in his and led the way to the ticket office before paying and continuing to lead the way. It was beautiful.

Carlisle stopped walking when he realised that my feet were still glued to the ground. I stared at the ruins for some time. They were beautiful.

"I know it isn't a castle exactly but...I thought it would still have the same feel to it." Carlisle spoke next to me.

"It's perfect." I nodded. We continued to walk, looking around and admiring the whole of the abbey ruins.

"The original church on this site dated back as far as 63AD before the stone church in 712, it was later added to in 940, this was then demolished in 1077 and replaced by a larger church only to be demolished and replaced again in 1100 for an even grander one which was destroyed by a fire in 1184, they began rebuilding this one in 1191 but it took years before it was completed." Carlisle told me as we walked around the site. I had to wonder whether he had already known this or if he had done his homework before coming. "I came here once, when I was still human. It is one of my few human memories. My father and I were completing a pilgrimage and this was one of the places we visited along the way. It wasn't quite the ruin it is now but was already damaged and no longer used."

"It's just so beautiful." I murmured, reaching out to place my hand on the stone. "The archways...they're so perfect."

"Did you want to know something else fascinating?" he asked, "Apparently in 1191 was they began rebuilding, they discovered the legendary King Arthur's tomb. Of course it can't be proven, who knows after all whether King Arthur was even real."

"But who's to say he wasn't either." I shrugged.

"Exactly, any record of King Arthur puts his lifetime around the late fifth and early sixth century so the chances of proving anything are very slim." Carlisle nodded.

"Unless of course there happened to be any vampires around at the time." I smirked.

"I'm not _that_ old." He grinned back.

"I know you aren't but...who knows maybe someone out there is." I sighed.

"Certainly; Aro, Marcus and Caius all date back as far as 1300BC perhaps further. There are bound to be others also, however our kind tend not to get involved with the lives of humans so just because they were around does not mean they would have all the answers." Carlisle replied.

We spent most of the morning wandering around the ruined abbey and its grounds taking in the peacefulness and the beauty of it. I spent a great deal of time pondering all of the major events in history that vampires had lived through, all of those questions of our history that they could have the answers to. In a century's time would I not be bothered by the changes happening in the human world? What is it likely to have lived for that long? To have been around to see entire kingdoms rise and fall, the invention of electricity, the telephone and the car, all the way up to now where mobile phones and laptops are the norm? If some of the vampires still around today were around in 1300BC then they could know so much...what if there were some out there even older? 1500BC may make someone old enough to know if the city of Atlantis ever really existed!

This gave me a lot to ponder on our way home. Carlisle seemed happy enough to leave me to think in peace the whole drive back. It just felt too strange to comprehend that someone could be _that_ old.

"So, what do you think?" Carlisle asked, as we pulled into the driveway.

"Definitely, I loved it." I replied.

"I thought you would, of course if you do find something else you prefer in the meantime all you have to do is say so." He said, stopping the car at the cottage. He saw my confusion because he added. "I just want to talk about a few things before Alice gets hold of you."

He helped me out of the car and we went inside as I asked, "So what are we talking about?"

"A few things." He replied, sitting on the couch and tugging me with him. "Firstly, I wanted to warn you that Esme is coming to see us all this weekend, along with Kale and Rina."

"This weekend?" I asked. I felt slightly panicked, what would Esme think of me marrying her ex-husband? I cringed to myself; this was going to be weird.

"This is no need for that face Bella." Carlisle chucked, dropping his arm over my shoulders. "She is very eager to see you again and according to Alice very happy for us. It's just a visit."

"Alright." I replied, still slightly unsure.

"Secondly, I wanted to discuss what our plans are for after the wedding." He continued. I hadn't actually thought much about it before. It wasn't like we could have a nice hot and sunny honeymoon...what did he expect? "I have grown very selfish in the time we have been living together Bella, I'm afraid I rather enjoy having you all to myself and don't much like sharing." I laughed at that, I couldn't picture Carlisle being selfish about anything. "I was hoping that we could spend some time with just the two of us, even just for the first year or so."

"But the others could visit right?" I asked.

"Of course, you silly beautiful girl! Did you expect me to just lock you in a house for a year or so that I could keep you to myself?" he asked. "I just wanted to know your thoughts on the matter, where you wanted to live and whilst there is no rush if and when you decide to become one of us."

"Carlisle I keep asking you and you keep saying no." I frowned.

"That may have something to do with the fact that you are always naked when you ask me and probably not thinking clearly." He murmured, leaning down to kiss me.

"and here I was thinking that I was so very persuasive when I'm naked..." I grinned.

"You are." He said bluntly, glancing to the mark on my neck.

"Carlisle, I want you, forever. I don't really mind where we end up as long as we're together. I love your whole family but you...you I can't live without." I told him. "I go where you go, and one day...I want you to change me, preferably soon and then we can really start our lives together."

"Bella our lives together started that day I tried to stop you discharging yourself from the hospital." He replied. "I haven't been able to get you out of my head since."

"I thought about you too." I told him honestly. "It was strange...I shouldn't have thought about you that way, you were Edward's dad but I just couldn't help it."

"It's a vampire thing." He told me, I burst out laughing, I couldn't help it.

"That line really doesn't suit you." I chortled. I saw his eyes darken slightly and then he smirked before pulling me into his arms and onto his lap. My laughter died quickly on my lips. Then he kissed me.


End file.
